13. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

It’s August 12th! Less than 2 weeks left before school starts!

You know what time it is!

Time for Back to School Rehab!

Teacher: ‘So students, did everyone have a wonderful Summer?

Okay, glad to hear it.

Now I know you’ve spent the past 3 months playing video games, tweeting and texting on your phones, and fondling the remote control mindlessly, so it’s time for some brief solution-focused group therapy.

How many of you can focus on one thing for longer than 3 seconds?

How many of you have heard of a handheld wireless tool called a ‘book?’

Let’s see a show of hands please….hold them up. Okay, 2 of you.

In that case, let’s talk about addiction.

Johnny, I need you to stop moving your thumbs.

Yes, just use your thoughts, dear. Really, you can stop fidgeting using your mind!

I know it’s difficult, dear. Just give it a try.

The withdrawals from your iPhones, video games and laptops seem just as bad as nicotine detox.

Addiction is when you can’t stop thinking about where your next fix is coming from. So if all you can think about is getting home to fire up WOW or COD, you just might be addicted!

Call of Duty (COD)

Addiction is when you spend all your energy focusing on how your going to get your next fix. So if you are counting the seconds from first period to the end of the school day while worrying about playing Angry Birds on the iPhone, you just might be addicted!

Remember, quitting technology cold turkey can be brutal.

So if you need a fix during the school day, we were just got in some brand new Kindles. You can use them in the meantime to quiet those nasty eye twitches and finger tics.

Alright. I’m glad we had the chance to have this little chat. There’s the school bell.

ON YOUR MARK…

GET SET…

LEARN!’

Enjoy!

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Posted in Gender differences, Parenting adolescents, SRVHS, San Francisco Bay Area, De-escalating anger, Real Men Real Emotion, Free self-help book, Emotional terrorists, Anger management therapy, Self-help book, Visual Attention, Psychological Humor - Jokes, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, School psychology, Creativity, Dr. John Schinnerer, Parenting, Emotional management, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Psychology humor, Managing stress | Print | No Comments »

26. May 2010 by John Schinnerer.

 (Note: This is humor!) 

1. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

2. You write to your mother in Denmark every week, even though she sends you mail from Ohio asking why you never write.

3. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil alien spirits.

4. You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you’ve stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

5. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

6. Your father pretends you don’t exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

7. You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they’ll hatch.

8. Your dentist asks you why each one of your teeth has your name etched on it and you say it’s for security reasons.

9. You tend to agree with everything your mother’s dead uncle tells you.

10. You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

Have a mirth-filled week!

Dr. John Schinnerer

Guide To Self, Inc.

Positive Psychology Coach

Author of #1 Positive Psych blog on the web

Keynote speaker

Swell guy

Posted in Psychological Humor - Jokes, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Optimal Human Functioning, Alamo CA, Well-being, San Francisco Bay Area, Curiosity, Psychology humor, Happiness, Creativity, Dr. John Schinnerer, Depression, Emotional management, Resiliency, Anger Management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

17. November 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Free teleclass
Positive Psychology – The Science of Optimal Human Functioning
11/18/09 (Wednesday)
6 pm PST/9 pm EST
with John Schinnerer, Ph.D.,
Author, positive psychology coach, speaker, amusing guy
Simply call 212-461-5903 and enter Pin 3474#

Positive psychology is the scientific study of optimal functioning, the applied approach to human flourishing. The lessons of positive psych are appropriate for everyone – teenagers, executives, managers and the elderly. Even the Army is currently training thousands of sergeants in positive psychology to boost the resiliency of troops and to decrease the possibility of post-traumatic stress disorder. While our Army troops have always been physically fit, we are now seeing a momentous shift in thinking to enable them to become psychologically fit as well.

So this class and PP in general definitely has something to offer you and it is as valuable in your personal life as in your professional life. At the heart of positive psychology are a number of research based findings into how and when people function at their very best.

Posted in Awareness, Psychology humor, Gratitude, Hope, Mindfulness, Organizational psychology, Resiliency, Altruism, Curiosity, National speakers, Employee engagement, Executive coach, Meaning-making, International Wellbeing Study, Emotion & productivity, Emotion & learning, Danville CA, Positive expectations, The human brain, Men's emotions, Creativity, Life coach, Guide to Self, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Positive Psychology, Business & psych, Realistic optimism, Emotional IQ, Customer Engagement, Emotional management, Managing Anxiety, Managing Sadness, Emotional mind, Morals and values, Happiness, Positive mood music, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »

15. October 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Some Quick Jokes

The pollution is so bad that when I put air in my tires, two of them died.’ Lee Tully

‘I was thrown out of NYU. On the metaphysics final I looked w/in the soul of the boy sitting next to me.’ Woody Allen

My dog is half Labrador, half pit bull. Great dog. Sure, he might bite off my leg , but he’ll bring it back to me.

When dogs laugh, they laugh with their tails. What puts humans at a higher state of evolution is that we got our laugh at the right end!

My sister had a sick hamster. She took it to the vet - that’s like taking a disposable lighter in for repairs. (a la Wayne Cotter)

‘Don’t let the elephants watch the rabbits!” Noah’s wife

My grandpa got thrown out of a mime show for having a seizure. They thought he was heckling!

Bumper sticker humor… Don’t get even. Get ODD!

Bumper sticker humor … Reality is 4 people who have no imagination.

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.

– Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

Have a thriving Thursday!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Danville, CA 94526

www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in National speakers, Psychology humor, Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, Psychological Humor - Jokes, Hope, Emotional management, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Creativity, Guide to Self, Happiness, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

13. October 2009 by John Schinnerer.

A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him. “For your kindness,” the genie said, “I will grant you one wish!” The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, “I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California.”The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, “Listen, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they’d have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That’s too much to ask.”“OK,” the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. “I’m a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!”

The genie paused, and then sighed, “Did you want two lanes or four?”

Reminder: Laugh easily. Laughter opens you up to new ideas, new ways of thinking and new solutions to problems.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive psychology coach

San Ramon Danville Alamo CA

Posted in Emotion & learning, Danville CA, Psychology humor, Happiness, Guide to Self, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »