Teen Stress Connected To Depression And Obesity Recent Penn State Study

4. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

This past weekend, I presented at a Parenting Conference on Strengths-Based Approaches to parenting. At the conference, a new film, The Race to Nowhere, was screened.The movie brought up a number of pertinent issues regarding the educational system in the United States…

 

 

The creation of high degrees of chronic stress in all ages of students (but not all students) due to excessive homework demands.

 

The excessive homework load seems to be largely due to curriculum which has been pushed down to lower and lower grade, often to the point where the academic requirements are mismatched with the developmental stage of the student.

 

The well being and happiness of students are not considered relevant in the current educational system.

 

The current system puts students into a constant forward-looking race to get to the next stage of education. For instance, sixth graders are looking at which foreign language classes to take to get into college; 7th & 8th graders are focused on what to do now to get into the advanced track classes in high school; many high school students are continually focused on what they can do in terms of extracurriculars and AP grades to get into the ‘right’ colleges.

 

Once in college, students are finding they never learned how to think critically on their own. Rather they were taught to regurgitate facts to do well on standardized tests which assess only a fraction of the whole child’s abilities and skills. 

 

At some point, many of these students are running headlong into a period of purposelessness and some are even dropping out of college due to depression, anxiety and hopelessness. If you are interested in finding out more about the movie, check out their site at RaceToNowhere.com.

 

 

Today, I came across a new study out of Penn State which shows a link between adolescent stress, depression and obesity. Below is a review on the study borrowed from a fantastic psychology site PsychCentral.com.

 

By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on February 25, 2010

 

Obesity is a disturbing worldwide trend. In fact, researchers say the effects are so pervasive that unless the issue is controlled, children born today will not live longer than their parents.

A new research finding provides insight on how a mental health issue may trigger obesity among adolescents. In the study, researchers discovered depression raises stress hormone levels in adolescent boys and girls. And, among girls, the stress hormones may lead to obesity.

Accordingly, early treatment of depression could help reduce stress and control obesity.

[snip]

Cortisol, a hormone, regulates various metabolic functions in the body and is released as a reaction to stress. Researchers have long known that depression and cortisol are related to obesity, but they had not figured out the exact biological mechanism.

Although it is not clear why high cortisol reactions translate into obesity only for girls, scientists believe it may be due to physiological and behavioral differences (in girls, estrogen release and stress eating) in the way the two genders cope with anxiety.

“The implications are to start treating depression early because we know that depression, cortisol and obesity are related in adults,” said Susman.

If depression were to be treated earlier, she noted, it could help reduce the level of cortisol, and thereby help reduce obesity.

“We know stress is a critical factor in many mental and physical health problems,” said Susman.

“We are putting together the biology of stress, emotions and a clinical disorder to better understand a major public health problem.”

Susman and her colleagues Lorah D. Dorn, professor of pediatrics, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center, and Samantha Dockray, postdoctoral fellow, University College London, used a child behavior checklist to assess 111 boys and girls ages 8 to 13 for symptoms of depression.

Next they measured the children’s obesity and the level of cortisol in their saliva before and after various stress tests.

[snip]

Statistical analyses of the data suggest that depression is associated with spikes in cortisol levels for boys and girls after the stress tests, but higher cortisol reactions to stress are associated with obesity only in girls. The team reported its findings in a recent issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health.

“In these children, it was mainly the peak in cortisol that was related to obesity,” Susman explained. “It was how they reacted to an immediate stress.”

Source: Penn State University

For full article, click here.

Have a wonderful and stress-free week!

All the best,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Author of the award-winning book Guide To Self:

The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion & Thought Guide To Self, Inc.

913 San Ramon Valley Blvd. #280

Danville CA 94526

(925) 575-0258

GuideToSelf.com - Web site

DrJohnBlog.GuideToSelf.com - Award-winning Blog

@johnschin - Twitter

 

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Staying Calm During Penalty Kicks in Soccer Is Critical To Kicker’s Success, New Study States

14. December 2009 by John Schinnerer.

‘ScienceDaily (Dec. 11, 2009) — A new study may explain why the England soccer team keeps losing in penalty shootouts — and could help the team address the problem in time for the World Cup 2010. Research by the University of Exeter shows for the first time the effect of anxiety on a footballer’s eye movements while taking a penalty.

The study shows that when penalty takers are anxious they are more likely to look at and focus on the centrally positioned goalkeeper. Due to the tight coordination between gaze control and motor control, shots also tend to centralize, making them easier to save. The research is now published in the December 2009 edition of the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology.

The researchers attribute this change in eye movements and focus to anxiety. Author Greg Wood of the University of Exeter’s School of Sport and Health Sciences said: ‘During a highly stressful situation, we are more likely to be distracted by any threatening stimuli and focus on them, rather than the task in hand. Therefore, in a stressful penalty shootout, a footballer’s attention is likely to be directed towards the goalkeeper as opposed to the optimal scoring zones (just inside the post). This disrupts the aiming of the shot and increases the likelihood of subsequently hitting the shot towards the goalkeeper, making it easier to save.’

Remind your players to breathe deeply in order to relax and dial down the pressure after the referee has blown the whistle to proceed with their shot from the mark.

Have an enjoyable Saturday night!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

Positive Psychology Coaching

www.GuideToSelf.com

Author of ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought’<–>

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The Four Best Predictors of Positive Emotions and Why You Should Care

19. October 2009 by John Schinnerer.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

Positive emotions, such as awe, curiosity, love, contentment and pride, act as a hidden reset button for the physiological effects of destructive emotions (e.g., chronic stress, long-term anger, or enduring sadness). Positive emotion undoes the harmful physical effects of negative emotions.

Positive emotions…

·         lower blood pressure

·         increase immune system functioning

·         improve clarity of thought and creativity and

·         decrease cortisol levels (i.e., the stress hormone).

Research has recently uncovered the four best predictors of future positive emotions. They are…

• The feeling that you can count on others
• The perception that you have autonomy and are in control of your own life
• Whether you learned something new yesterday
• Whether you did what you do best yesterday

(E. Diener, University of Illinois, author of Happiness)

If you have loved ones and friends you can count on, if you feel autonomous, if you learn something new daily, and if you use your strengths on a daily basis, you will create more moments of happiness in your life. As you learn to string together fleeting moments of happiness, you will create a contented mood.

According to Barbara Fredrickson (UNC Chapel Hill), author of Positivity, as we learn to unpack happiness, we discover that it is positive emotions that lay at the heart of a number of things such as resiliency, happiness, life satisfaction and subjective well-being.

In other words, when you increase the frequency with which you experience positive emotions, you improve your psychological resources (e.g., resiliency) and subsequently, you become more satisfied with life and physically healthier.

 

About the Author

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping individuals learn happiness by mitigating destructive emotions and fostering constructive emotions. His practice is located in the Danville San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer is President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  

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More Working Memory Means Less Distractibility; Better Focus Means More Fluid IQ

10. August 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Science Daily - “Based on a study of 84 students divided into four separate experiments, University of Oregon researchers found that students with high memory storage capacity were clearly better able to ignore distractions and stay focused on their assigned tasks.

Principal investigator Edward K. Vogel, a UO professor of psychology, compares working memory to a computer’s random-access memory (RAM) rather than the hard drive’s size — the higher the RAM, the better processing abilities. With more RAM, he said, students were better able to ignore distractions. This notion surfaced in a 2005 paper in Nature by Vogel and colleagues in the Oregon Visual Working Memory & Attention Lab.

Vogel is quick to say that the findings don’t necessarily signify problems for an easily distracted person, although people who hold their focus more intensely tend to have higher fluid intelligence; they score higher on achievement tests, do better in math and learn second languages easier than peers who are captured by interruptions. Vogel currently is working with other UO researchers to explore if the easily distracted indeed have a positive side, such as in artistic creativity and imagination.

The IPS, Vogel said, acts as a pointer system that seeks out goal-related cues, and it possibly is the gateway for memory circuitry in the brain.

“Our attention is the continual interplay between what our goals are and what the environment is trying to dictate to us,” Vogel said. “Often, to be able to complete complex and important goal-directed behavior, we need to be able to ignore salient but irrelevant things, such as advertisements flashing around an article you are trying to read on a computer screen. We found that some people are really good at overriding attention capture, and other people have a difficult time unhooking from it and are really susceptible to irrelevant stimuli.”

Vogel theorizes that people who are good at staying on focus have a good gatekeeper, much like a bouncer or ticket-taker hired to allow only approved people into a nightclub or concert. Understanding how to improve the gatekeeper component, he said, could lead to therapies that help easily distracted people better process what information is allowed in initially, rather than attempting to teach people how to force more information into their memory banks.”

Original story here http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090806141712.htm

 Always something to think about!

 Wonderfully yours,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

 

Posted in ADHD, Danville CA, Managing Anxiety, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Creativity, Nervousness, Dr. John Schinnerer | Print | No Comments »

Hope –Antidote for Human Suffering or Pipe Dream?

6. January 2009 by John Schinnerer.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

To what extent is hope necessary or relevant for these difficult times? The world is besieged by economic, military, educational, and healthcare problems which seem to be insurmountable. In such a world, of what possible use is hope?

It feels as if Pandora opened her box only recently, allowing a wave of good and evil to descend upon humankind. And yet, in the Greek myth, Pandora closed the box while one thing remained inside – hope.  

Is hope a powerful psychological asset, an antidote to human shortcomings? Or is hope simply a pipe dream for Pollyanna-ish optimists who can’t see the brutal, harsh nature of reality?

Hope Is Helpful In A Variety of Areas

Hope has been studied in psychology labs throughout the world for dozens of years. Research studies have shown that greater hope is associated with:

·        Freedom from anxiety

·        Less depression

·        More positive mood

·        Increased popularity among peers

·        Higher achievement in a number of areas (academic, athletic, military, political and professional)

·        Greater quality of social relationships

·        Improved physical health

·        Increased accomplishment of goals

·        Increased tolerance of pain

·        Reduced cardiovascular risk

If hope is a pipe dream for those who do not see reality accurately, then the rose-colored pipe dream comes with a slew of physical, emotional, social and vocational benefits. Given the broad range of positive advantages that hope confers upon its users, it might be more simply stated that hope helps. Hope is, in fact, a powerful psychological asset.

Hope Defined

Hope is a belief or wish that in the future good events and positive feelings will come more frequently than bad events and negative feelings.  Rick Snyder, a researcher at Kansas University, sees hope as having three distinct parts:

1.      Goals – Goals can be large or small, short- or long-term, formal or informal. Goals can be set in any area of life. However, without goals, there is no future-oriented thinking, and thus no hope.

2.      Pathways – A workable plan to get around potential challenges to enable one to get to the goal.

3.      Agency - The energy, motivation, or will to act. Agency is the degree of determination one has to achieve a goal.

Hope Is More About The Future Than The Present

To the extent that one has these three elements, one has hope. Hope comes from the excitement one feels about the future possibility of accomplishing goals. Hope is not as much about the present moment as it is about realizing future potential. Hope is a perception whereby one sees the future as filled with possibilities. Hope helps to create the future as it motivates people to strive towards creating new constructive realities.

Hopeful People Don’t Play The Blame Game

One of the appealing aspects of hope is that hopeful people do not get into blaming themselves or the world for falling short of a goal. Instead, when they fail, hopeful people ask ‘What now?’ They come up with alternative ways to achieve their goal. They excel at discovering multiple pathways to attain goals.

Hope has been shown to enhance problem-solving abilities and thus makes people better at brainstorming potential solutions to challenges.

Learning To Be More Hopeful

Instead of creating New Year’s resolutions that will be broken by nightfall, you may want to resolve to become more hopeful. If that’s the case, here are some suggestions to help strengthen your hope.

Dare to Hope – Most are taught growing up ‘Don’t get your hopes up!’ Hope is a human strength which makes the accomplishment of goals more likely. Be brave enough to have hope.

Set Goals That Are Personally Meaningful – There is little point to attempting to fulfill goals that someone else has for you. Goals are effective when they have meaning to you.

State Your Goals in the Positive – Rather than ‘I’m going to lose 10 pounds’ tell yourself ‘I will get healthy’. The human mind does not respond well to negative statements and goals are no exception. State your goals using positive language.

Be Mindful of Where Hope Falls Apart – Does your hope break down at the pathways stage? Perhaps you need better planning, or help in creating your plan. If your hope falters at the motivation or determination stage, share your goal with loved ones to give you extra accountability.

Check In With Your Self – Whenever you are distracted from the task you are working on, ask yourself ‘What am I doing?’ and ‘What are my goals for this task?’ These simple questions will help you to stay focused on the task at hand, remind you of your goals and perform well in the moment.

Listen to Uplifting Music – Recent research has shown that listening to music (as well as playing and composing) involves nearly every neural network in the human brain. Music lights up the brain. The power of music is the power to evoke emotions. If you want to feel hope, listen to hopeful music. Some of my favorite songs that evoke hope are…

·        Imagine by John Lennon

·        Lovely, Love My Family by The Roots (off the Yo, Gabba Gabba album)

·        Uwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

·        You’ll Be Blessed by Elton John

·        Three Little Birds by Bob Marley

·        I Don’t Ever Give Up by Patty Griffin

·        Joy by Mick Jagger

·        The Middle by Jimmy Eats World

·        Fall Back Down by Rancid

Watch an Elevating Clip On YouTube  

Studies have shown that the brain is a very literal organ and doesn’t differentiate much between what is real, what is imagined and what we watch on a screen. In some meaningful way, hope can be injected into the mind by watching clips or movies that inspire you.

·        One uplifting clip on YouTube is actually an ad from MBF, a health care company in Australia, featuring the song ‘Accentuate the Positive’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDRQbrBhoWg).

·        Or check out the short film ‘Validated’ with Hugh Newman in which a parking garage attendant ‘validates’ the existence of others by offering words of kindness and encouragement (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao ).

·        One of my favorites on YouTube is ‘Free Hugs’ with music by the Sick Puppies (‘All the same’) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4.  This clip has been viewed over 40 million times and won YouTube’s video of the year for 2007. This social experiment, giving away free hugs, has been replicated in dozens of countries with similar hopeful results.

When Pandora did close her infamous box, it’s fortunate that hope was left inside. Hope is a powerful internal asset which can be used to offset many of the hardships life brings. Bolster your own sense of hope using the suggestions above. Please share with me songs or videos that inspire your sense of hope.  Everyone can use a shot of hope now and then.

About the Author
Dr. John Schinnerer (DrJohn AT GuideToSelf.com)

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping people learn anger management, stress management and the latest ways to deal with destructive negative emotions. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  

Posted in Emotional management, Managing Anxiety, Emotional mind, Depression, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Anger Management, Managing Sadness, Altruism, Hope, Resiliency, The human brain, Men's emotions, Positive mood music, Happiness, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Managing stress, Realistic optimism, Positive Psychology, Guide to Self, Emotional IQ, Tips to help anxiety, Nervousness, Staying calm, Anxiety, Counseling | Print | No Comments »

The Key to Surviving the Holidays – Self-Compassion

12. December 2008 by John Schinnerer.

The Key to Surviving the Holidays – Self-Compassion

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

As we enter the holiday season, it makes good sense to talk about survival tools. How do we survive the coming onslaught of family and friends and the accompanying mistakes, failings, and misunderstandings that will inevitably follow in the next three weeks?

Self-Esteem Isn’t the Answer

Ten years ago, the answer might have been to boost everyone’s self-esteem before they come together. For decades, we have been obsessed with self-esteem.  For so long, we thought if we could just make people feel good about themselves, it would solve family problems, societal problems and psychological problems.  We’ve created programs to instill high self-esteem in our children, our students and our families.

Self-Esteem Alone Can Be Dangerous

Self-esteem involves how one feels about him- or herself. There are two types of self-esteem – state and trait. State self-esteem is how positively one evaluates himself in the moment. Trait self-esteem has to do with how positively one sees himself overall. Recent research has shown that increasing self-esteem is not as effective as once thought. Many people with high self-esteem feel so good about themselves that they feel comfortable abusing and taking advantage of other people (e.g., higher degrees of narcissism). At some point, individuals with high self-esteem seem to be able to rationalize destructive behaviors towards others using the idea that they are superior.

Obviously, this was not an intended outcome of self-esteem programs. So how do we get people to feel good about themselves without adding to their sense of superiority?

Self-Compassion – An Inner Critic with LovingKindness

While self-esteem had to do with how one feels about himself, self-compassion involves how one treats himself when things go badly. The goal is to treat oneself with the same type of kindness and compassion that most people extend to loved ones when they fail. When other people fall short of a goal or err, most people will react with kindness and compassion. On the other hand, studies show that most people are harsh with themselves when they screw up. Most people are self-punitive, disparaging and hypercritical of their own shortcomings and mistakes. Unfortunately, this degrades the quality of our emotional lives. It upsets the emotional apple cart, as it were. Even people with high self-esteem are prone to this sort of self-punishing internal beat down. We are truly our own worst critics.

Self-Compassion Leads to Greater Resiliency

People with self-compassion are more resilient. They roll with the punches. Self-compassionate people bounce back more quickly from setbacks because they treat themselves more kindly when they fail or make a mistake.

Can We Have Too Much Self-Compassion?

This all sounds good so far. What’s the catch? Is it possible to be overly self-compassionate to the point where one is self-indulgent? Is it possible, or even probable, that a compassionate person might take no responsibility for their mistakes?

Research at Duke University suggests that is not the case. Self-compassionate people take responsibility for failures and own up to mistakes. They do feel badly when things go awry. According to Mark Leary at Duke, self-compassionate people simply lack that extra layer of self-flagellation and internal criticism. In other words, their internal critic has learned to speak less often and more kindly.   

How To Build More Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff, a researcher at University of Texas (and fellow Berkeley grad), has the following suggestions for ways to foster more self-compassion…

“Self-Kindness – ‘What would a caring friend say to you in this situation?’  ‘What is a kind and constructive way to think about how I can rectify this mistake or do better next time?’  Try putting your hand over your heart or gently stroking your arm when feeling a lot of pain as a gesture of kindness and compassion.

Self-judgment – ‘Who ever said human beings are supposed to be perfect?’  ‘Would a caring mother say this to her child if she wanted the child to grow and develop?’  ‘How will I learn if it’s not okay to make mistakes?’

Common Humanity - Think about all the other people who have made similar mistakes, gone through similar situations, and so on.  ‘This is the human condition - all humans are vulnerable, flawed, make mistakes, have things happen that are difficult and painful’  ‘How does this situation give me more insight into and compassion for the human experience?’

Isolation – ‘I am not the only one going through such difficult times, all people experience things like this at some point in their lives.’  ‘Although I take full responsibilities for my mistakes and failings, I also recognize and understand that my actions and behaviors are connected to other people’s actions and behaviors - nothing happens in a vacuum.’

Mindfulness - Take several deep slow breaths and try to be with your pain exactly as it is. Let yourself feel the pain without suppressing, resisting, or avoiding it.  Take a moment to stop and say to yourself, this is really hard right now.  Let yourself be moved and touched by your own pain.  Try to see the situation clearly with calm, clarity and a balanced perspective.  ‘I fully accept this moment and these emotions as they are.’”

So as you enter the holidays and family tensions rise, remember to be more self-compassionate. If you make a mistake, fall short of a goal, or fail to act a certain way, respond with loving kindness towards yourself, just as you would to a small child. You’ll be glad you did.

About the Author

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping individuals learn happiness by mitigating destructive emotions and fostering constructive emotions. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer is President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  

You can follow Dr. John Schinnerer on Twitter at http://twitter.com/johnschin.

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How to Get What You Want Using Appropriate Assertiveness

18. November 2008 by John Schinnerer.

By John Schinnerer, Ph.D.The boss’ face is red with rage as he screams obscenities at his subordinate. The boss yells words he will later regret. The subordinate focuses on breathing deeply and staying calm as he watches his boss spin out of emotional control. In the face of his boss’ fury, the subordinate remains composed and, thus, is able to think clearly. When the manager finishes his tirade, the 25-year-old subordinate asserts himself, ‘I understand you are upset. It frustrates me when you yell at me. I need you to speak to me in a calm tone of voice.’Assertiveness is the courage to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right manner, despite a known risk of negative consequences. Assertiveness basically comes down to courage – the courage to do what you know is right, in your heart, despite the possibility of negative consequences. Assertiveness exists on a continuum between the poles of docile and aggressive. Think of assertiveness as a matter of degree; it exists on a 1 through 10 scale where 1 is meek and 10 is overly aggressive. For most people, assertiveness varies according to the situation. For example, the hard-nosed, results-driven executive may be highly assertive at work, yet be quite meek when it comes to dealing with his wife and teenage daughter at home. So assertiveness is environment-specific. Usually, your degree of assertiveness is couched within a role that you play – parent, spouse, boss, friend, and so on. The goal is to learn how to be appropriately assertive without being a bully.  While difficult, it is possible with practice and awareness.Stop Being a WimpMost people are wimps, at least to some degree, in some situation. Wimps are people who cannot or will not say ‘No’ mainly out of fear. You may be a ubiquitous wimp which means that you are wimpy in every situation, with everyone. Or you may be a situation-specific wimp. These wimps can be a tyrant at work and a pushover at home, forceful with strangers yet completely spineless with friends. Wimpiness can vary according to the situation. Many wimps feel more comfortable being assertive in some areas of their life than others. Please understand that I use the term ‘wimp’ with respect and understanding. I work on my own assertiveness continuously. Understand that being a wimp works pretty well in the short run because you don’t risk upsetting anyone. You just let others have their way and no one’s knickers get in a knot. However, in the long run, your anger and disappointment get buried deep inside you. As you try to stuff more and more anger inside your emotional gas tank, the tank eventually overflows resulting in irritation, or even outbursts of rage as well as passive-aggressive behavior. You get angry at the wrong people, people who don’t deserve your wrath. Holding your emotions inside can also lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, high blood pressure, stroke, and even heart attacks. In short, wimpiness is bad for you and destructive to your health and happiness. For a meaningful, happy and healthy life, you must learn to be appropriately assertive. So what can you do? How do you stop being a wimp and start being assertive?Identify Your Top ValuesFirst, identify those values that are most important to you. The purpose for identifying your deepest values is to give you some guidance during difficult or confusing times. When your values are clear, it’s much easier to decide upon a course of action and act with confidence.  Your values will be the foundation of your new assertiveness. Ask yourself the following questions…What do I value? With what degree of certainty?Which values am I willing to publicly declare?What values am I willing to die for?Once you’ve identified your values, then you must figure out how consistent your words are with your feelings, thoughts and actions.The more authentic you are, the greater your quality of life is. Authenticity means that your values are consistent with your words, feelings and actions. The greater the consistency between your internal world and your external world, the more authenticity you have. Values guide the whole thing, your whole life.  Values give you a decision-making framework. Values are most important when you are under duress. Values are critical when you are stressed out, depressed or tired. However, in order for them to be any use to you at all, you have to know your top 5 values by rote. They have to be automatic, unconscious, repeated over and over until they are known by heart. It’s not enough to look at them once or twice a year. Infrequent value visits are not enough to sear them into your long-term memory. To get you started, a list of the top values that exist throughout the world is available free of charge at Guide To Self.  

Figure Out How You Want Others to Treat YouIf you want other people to treat you differently, you need to know how you want to be treated. Do you want your wife to stop yelling at you? Do you want more respect from your husband? Do you want your boss to speak to you in an indoor tone of voice? Do you want your children to help pick up the house? Figure out exactly how you want other people in your life to treat you.  Look at what is making you angry or irritated throughout the day. Make a mental note of each thing. Then figure out what you’d like to change in each relationship in your life. In which areas of your life is there injustice?  What are you tolerating? What are you putting up with? As you unearth the answers to these questions, the priorities for assertive action will automatically unfold.  Ask for What You Want After you have figured out how you want to be treated, then ask for it. This step takes courage, yet it gets easier the more frequently you do it. And it’s not as hard as you believe it is. You must learn to express yourself, the real you; what you truly want; how you truly feel, if you want to be treated with more respect. When you learn to state how you feel and what you want, your whole life will begin to change for the better. When you are asking for what you want, be as specific as possible. Keep it as short as possible and hold that thought in your mind, that way you can hold onto it even in the midst of an emotionally-charged conversation. To stop being a wimp, act with courage. It may feel awkward at first. Every new behavior feels a little strange at first. Most new behaviors take roughly 4 weeks to take hold. After four weeks, your authentic communication of your thoughts, feelings and needs will fit like a glove and you’ll be wondering why you hadn’t done it sooner. Practice Saying ‘No’Many of us have gotten in a dangerous habit of saying ‘Yes’ to everyone and everything. However, it’s merely a bad habit which can be changed. If you have trouble with saying ‘No,’ if that is too uncomfortable, simply use the phrase, ‘I’ll think about it.’  This is merely a temporary stop-gap. It buys you time. Using the phrase ‘I’ll think about it’ will hold off the other party for a time, but it raises your anxiety because you are only delaying giving a final answer. So realize that the ultimate goal is to be able to say ‘No’ with a clear conscience. You have a right to say ‘No’ to any request that comes your way. You have an obligation to take care of yourself first and foremost.  

Learn to Love Change The next step in becoming more assertive is to learn to love change. As you begin to live by your values and become more assertive, your relationships will change. You are going to make some changes to your life and the way in which you interact with other people. In addition, the only unchanging thing in this life is the fact that change will be constant. The best you can do is learn to love change. Identify What Makes You Afraid – And Go After ItMany of us wimps have created massive fears over what will happen when we finally say ‘No.’ We get into catastrophic, all-or-nothing negative thinking. Most often, these are irrational fears that have been blown up to monstrous proportions. Odds are that none of these things will actually happen if you stand up and rightly assert yourself. Remember to challenge your fears and your negative thoughts. Often, thoughts and feelings do not tell the truth. It is important to challenge negative thoughts. Don’t let them go by without speaking back to them. Check them against reality. Check your thoughts out with other people. Find out what people you trust have to say about the matter.Please realize that assertiveness is NOT the same as aggressiveness. You don’t have to be rude or impolite to be assertive. You don’t have to attack someone to let them know of your thoughts and your feelings. You have the right to stand up for your rights. You have the right to say ‘No’ and to take proper care of yourself. You have the right to stand up and ask for what you want and need. The worst that can happen is that they say ‘No. You can’t have that.’In any case, you need to know what makes your life worth living. And then stand up for it. Ask for it. Fight for it. Work towards it. Pay attention to it. You have to know what you want before you can be assertive. If you don’t know, you can’t ask. SummaryIn closing, keep in mind that assertiveness requires some courage. Courage only exists when you feel some degree of fear. The act of overcoming your fear is known as courage.  Assertiveness is the courage to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right manner despite possible adverse consequences. Think of assertiveness on a 1 to 10 scale where 1 is meek and 10 is overly aggressive. Assertiveness usually varies by situation. It is environment-specific. The ultimate goal is to learn how to be properly assertive without using intimidation to get what you want. About the Author
Dr. John Schinnerer

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping men learn anger management, stress management and latest ways to deal with destructive negative emotions. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer is President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  

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The Politics of Hope from Obama Reverberate Worldwide

7. November 2008 by John Schinnerer.

Today I’m sharing a post from a positive psychology listserv I subscribe to. It’s from a psychologist in Belgium, James Meredith Day. His writing does an excellent job describing the hope and optimism felt throughout the world after Barack Obama was elected Tuesday.

‘Polls across Europe, where I live, in the months preceding the U.S. presidential election showed voters in Germany, The Netherlands, and France to be as well informed on the issues confronting American voters, and the major candidates’ views on these, as were those who intended to vote in the U.S.A. The preference here was 86 per cent for Obama, 9 per cent for McCain, and the rest were for ‘other.’ Wednesday, when I took two of my children to our local Belgian school, I was greeted with jubilation, smiles, even warm embraces by neighbors and fellow parents, from people representing more than 15 different countries, from Japan, to Vietnam, to the European democracies, expressing their relief, and congratulations on the election of Senators Obama and Biden. Two messages came through over and over again: 1. At long last you have shown the world that America can’t be reduced to questions of brute power and money, and have done something to correct the image of a hypocritical, dishonest, arrogant, and inept party and administration; 

2. You have done something we in Europe have not yet done; electing a candidate issued from an immigrant family, of color, who in a short time gravitated to and was rewarded in the most elite of your educational institutions (People here are well aware Obama graduated from both Columbia and Harvard).  This is the America we WANT to look up to, and have as a leading partner in the family of nations. Wearing my Obama button on the street since, I have been greeted by perfect strangers on the metro, tram, bus, expressing the same sentiments. In Germany, the two national stations carried all-night coverage of the election.  Public radio in all the major countries here did the same. Millions of people here stayed up all night to keep track of what was going on, and when the results were announced, there were quite literally celebrations in the streets. 

Prior to this election the confidence in the U.S. had fallen to its lowest rating since the end of WW II.  Our country was regarded as a greater threat to the world’s environment and stability than a guarantor or force for good.’

- James Meredith Day

What an opportunity to promote hope and realistic optimism, not only here in America, but throughout the world.

Personally, I was thrilled at Tuesday’s presidential election results on a number of levels. Regardless of how things proceed from here, Obama’s win provides a number of disenfranchised groups with hope and optimism. And I believe every one of us could use a little more hope and optimism these days.

Let us do our best to continue the positive emotional momentum sparked by the election results. Let us proceed with open minds, warm hearts, a willingness to listen to those with whom we disagree, and helping hands.We are human beings.  We are resilient.

We don’t just roll.We bounce.

Dr. John Schinnerer Dr. John Schinnerer is opening up a private practice to help young and old men manage destructive emotions, such as anger, fear, anxiety and sadness. The practice opens November 15, 2008. The address is 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., Suite 280, Danville, CA 94526. You can contact Dr. Schinnerer for more info at Info@GuideToSelf.com.

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Dr. John Schinnerer opening private practice in Danville CA on 11-15-08.

30. October 2008 by John Schinnerer.

 

Latest News:

Dr. Schinnerer is proud to announce he is opening a private practice to coach men in the latest ways to manage their anger, fear and sadness. The practice opens November 15th, 2008 at the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center on 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., Suite 280, in Danville CA 94526. For appointments, please call (925) 575-0258.

Posted in Parenting, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Depression, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Ethics, Morals and values, Managing Anxiety, Anger Management, Relationships, Resiliency, The human brain, Men's emotions, Managing Sadness, Alexithymia, Happiness, Tips to help anxiety, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Realistic optimism, Business & psych, Positive Psychology, Forgiveness, Life coach, Guide to Self, Nervousness, Social phobia, Social anxiety disorder, Staying calm, Emotional IQ, Anxiety, Counseling | Print | No Comments »

How to Deal With the Constant Stress of a Battered Economy

30. October 2008 by John Schinnerer.

Eight of Ten Americans Stressed About Money, Economy

By John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Which comes first – fear or economic chaos? Companies as varied as Yahoo, American Express, and Time Inc. are laying off employees. Corporate profits are dropping. The stock market is in a chaotic panic. Housing prices have plunged. Consumer debt is on the rise. The U.S. economy is in a full blown recession, and possibly, a depression.  

Money and the economy are at the top of a long list of stressors for Americans as reported in a recent study by Harris Interactive and the American Psychological Association (October, 2008). Eighty percent (80%) of Americans are stressed about the state of the economy. So how do you manage the unyielding stress that comes with difficult economic times?  

Identify Fear, Anxiety and Stress

The first step to overcoming stress is to correctly identify it. When you are afraid, your blood gathers in the large muscle groups such as those in your legs, preparing your body to flee. Your body freezes for a moment to gauge your possible reactions such what is the quickest escape route. The brain sounds the alarm to put your body on alert, making it edgy and ready for action. Accompanying this is an overwhelming flood of anxious, fearful thoughts which seem to be uncontrollable. This intense cycle of fear and worry can paralyze you. It also paralyzes the rational mind, making it difficult to think clearly. Fear and stress are closely linked. When fear is sparked, the emotional brain begins its dance of anxiety, forcing the brain to focus on the perceived threat. The fearful mind spins in an endless loop of negative thoughts.

Fear lies at the heart of all stress. Stress is fear stretched out over time. It is the general alarm reaction sounded by the nervous system when you perceive that a demand is being made on you that you cannot handle. Once the alarm has focused your attention, the negative thought spirals, the racing heart, and the muscle tension are of no further assistance to you. On the contrary, long-term stress causes damage to your body on a number of levels – difficulty thinking clearly, damage to arteries, killing brain cells, and limiting the number of options open to you. On the bright side, stress and fear can be managed depending on how you approach them. Nothing is more important right now than learning to manage your stress – the fate of the entire world may depend on a critical mass of people staying calm and overcoming stress.

Turn Off the Alarm

Once the stress is identified, the second step is to turn the alarm off. This is done through exercise, deep breathing, meditation, prayer or other means to clear your mind of negative thoughts. If you have not yet learned to clear your mind, a good place to start is Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought.

Courage, Bravery and Heroism

The third step is the realization that courage is the antidote to fear. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is overcoming fear. This step involves taking concrete actions to keep moving forward in a constructive direction. By reframing the question as, “What am I willing to try?” you can make change exciting, rather than paralyzing. Courage is not the absence of fear but the exorcising of it. Feel the fear and push through it anyway. It is the conquering of the fear that makes one courageous. One cannot be brave without fear. Think of courage as a virtue to be exercised daily rather than imagining it as expressed only in acts of heroism.  You are courageous…every day.  

Focus on Gratitude

Another way to bounce back from stressful times is to direct your thoughts daily to those things for which you are grateful. This simple act connects you with your higher, more centered self. To do so, think about the following:You are alive.You are loved by others.You can see, hear and breathe on your own.You can read and comprehend these words.You can vote in a country with freedom of speech and of religion.All of these are basics which are often taken for granted. Make your own daily list of things for which you are grateful. By cultivating gratitude, you consciously move your thoughts away from the thousands of voices adding to the environment of fear and begin to stem the tide of stress.

Look for the Positive Meaning Amidst the Rubble

Finally, look deep into your current situation and seek any and all positive meanings that may be pulled from it. Every situation exists to teach you something. Your best strategy is to uncover those life-altering lessons in difficult times and use them to motivate you towards positive, constructive action. An example of a life lesson in this situation is the realization that you are resilient, you will survive. And with that knowledge comes power (“If I can survive this, I can survive anything.”). With complete awareness, allow yourself to calmly and rationally consider what options are available to you to create your best possible future.

Remember that our country has survived such economic hardships in the past and we will survive this one. Americans are highly resilient. We will bounce back from this difficulty with more energy, greater innovation, and more wisdom than we had prior to it. That is what we do, for we are Americans. We don’t just roll. We bounce.

About the Author John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Dr. John Schinnerer graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive coach and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that focuses on coaching individuals and groups to their potential using the latest in positive psychology. Most recently, Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.Dr. Schinnerer is also President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Infinet was founded in 1997 and has worked with companies such as UPS, CSE Insurance Group, McQuay International and Schreiber Foods.Dr. John Schinnerer previously served as Chief Communication Officer of Emotion Mining Company, which measured emotions for branding, marketing and organizational change.
Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development to sports psychology. He is a noted speaker and author on topics such as emotional intelligence, happiness in the workplace and executive leadership. Dr. Schinnerer wrote, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which was awarded the “Best Self-Help Book of 2007” by East Bay Express. He has written articles on corporate ethics and EQ in the workplace for Workspan magazine, HR.com, and Business Ethics. He has given numerous presentations, radio shows and seminars to tens of thousands of people for organizations such as SHRM, NCHRA, KNEW and KDIA.

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How To Use The Latest In Sports Psychology To Improve Your Soccer Game

2. October 2008 by John Schinnerer.

Here is an article I wrote recently for Article Dashboard…

A varsity soccer player heads the ball into the goal to put his team ahead by one. With more than 20 minutes to play, players on the team that is behind start to hang their heads. Their body language, slumped shoulders, a slow walk, and frustrated, angry expressions convey their temporary lack of resiliency. The speed with which they can bounce back from this setback holds the key to their success. Do they give in to their disappointment, let it turn to resignation, and ever-so-slightly decrease their efforts? Or do they use their anger to stoke the fires of competition and redouble their efforts to score and tie the game? Psychology is beginning to unravel some of the mysteries around sports performance in general and around soccer in particular. This article discusses three recent findings in sports psychology and how they can be best applied to soccer.For instance, players who make predictions about who will win the upcoming game enjoy the game less than those who do not. By predicting the outcome of the game, it creates the possibility of being incorrect and thus leads to the anticipation of regret. This anticipation of being wrong puts more pressure on the player to perform. As we know, too much pressure can push a player out of the zone (where performance is maximized) and into a subpar performance.

Focus On Playing to Potential, Not Winning

A better approach is that of nonattachment where players do not get overly attached to the idea of winning or losing. Soccer players can control one thing – their own play. By focusing the team on playing to their best individual and team potential, and decreasing focus on winning, the team plays more relaxed, more effective soccer.

Understand Your Players for Better Penalty Kicks

Another finding shows that some individuals look for potential gains in general and on the soccer field. Other people spend their efforts attempting to thwart negative outcomes. So one group looks to maximize gains, while the other group looks to minimize losses. Soccer coaches can identify this tendency in individual players and use it to fulfill their players’ potential. For example, when preparing players for penalty shootouts, coaches can talk to players who look to maximize gains (usually the forwards and some midfielders) and tell them to focus on scoring. On the other hand, coaches can prep those who seek to minimize losses (usually the fullbacks) by telling them to focus on not missing the shot. These are individualized messages that can run through the shooter’s head while preparing to take the PK which will increase the probability of success during the shootout.

Use Mirror Neurons to Your Advantage

Finally, soccer players become better simply by watching world class players. There is a ‘mirror system’ in the human brain which responds to actions we watch, such as Cristiano Ronaldo scoring a goal with a heel kick or performing a scissor move. This system in the brain has been shown in brain scan studies to activate when the individual is viewing a sport or activity in which they participate. However, the mirror system does not activate for a dancer watching a soccer player. The mirror system only activates for individuals who have been trained in the particular sport being viewed. We have known for over 50 years that visualization is helpful in improving sports performance (beginning with slalom skiing back in the 1950’s). Science is just discovering that the brain also learns by observing experts. Although no muscle movement takes place in the observer, the brain acts as if the body is replicating the movements being made while watching Ronaldo. The same pattern of neurons fire when watching Ronaldo perform a bicycle kick as when the player him- or herself does a bicycle kick. The possibility exists that players can hone their skills during injuries by watching professional soccer games, highlights on YouTube of favorite players and attending live games.

There are a number of things that psychology can add to sport in general and soccer in particular. Try incorporating some of these suggestions in your play or coaching and see what results come. Above all, have fun. Soccer is first and foremost a game!

About the Author

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that focuses on coaching individuals and groups to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, psychoneuroimmunology and physiology. Most recently, Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been a coach and psychologist for over 10 years.

Dr. Schinnerer is also President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Infinet was founded in 1997 and has worked with companies such as UPS, CSE Insurance Group and Schreiber Foods.

Dr. John Schinnerer was Chief Communication Officer of Emotion Mining Company, which has a patented method to measure and quantify conscious and subconscious emotions for branding, marketing, leadership development and organizational change.

Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development to sports psychology. He is a noted speaker and author on topics such as emotional intelligence, sports psychology, and executive leadership.Dr. Schinnerer wrote, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which was recently awarded the “Best Self-Help Book of 2007.” He has written articles on corporate ethics and EQ in the workplace for Workspan magazine, HR.com, and Business Ethics. He has given numerous presentations, radio shows and seminars to tens of thousands of people for organizations such as SHRM, NCHRA, KNEW and KDIA.By: Dr. John Schinnerer

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.comDr. John Schinnerer is Pres. of Infinet Assessment (www.InfinetAssessment.com) a testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Infinet has worked with companies such as UPS, CSE Insurance Group and Schreiber Foods. He also runs Guide To Self(www.GuideToSelf.com), a company that focuses on coaching individuals and groups to their potential using the latest in positive psychology. In 2007, he wrote ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought’

Posted in Nervousness, Staying calm, Tips to help anxiety, Happiness, Psychology & soccer, Infinet Assessment, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Swim coaches, Sports Psychology, Abusive Coaches, Managing stress, Life coach, Dr. John Schinnerer, Mean coaches | Print | No Comments »

The Best Way to Let Go of Anger, Pain and Perceived Injustice - Practice Daily Forgiveness

2. October 2008 by John Schinnerer.

By Dr. John Schinnerer

www.GuideToSelf.com

Each one of us has an emotional gas tank inside us. Inside most of us, our emotional gas tanks are filled with anger, sadness and fear, and other destructive emotions. Destructive emotions build up over time. They accumulate. Destructive emotions, such as anager, literally eat you from the inside out by damaging the inside of your arteries.

As an example, let’s look more in depth at anger. Anger is difficult to control yet it is predictable. It begins like a single drop of water. At first, it’s merely irritating. No big deal, just aggravating. Slowly, gradually, over time, anger accumulates. Some bonehead zips into the parking space for which you were patiently waiting. A guy in a hurry cuts you off on the freeway. Your boss is mistakenly upset with you because of a error a coworker made. The waitress takes forever to get your order and you are running late. When you finally arrive home, exhausted, your children are boisterous and energetic. Tiny drops of water slowly filling up your emotional gas tank. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. And when you gather together enough of these little drops of annoyance, you have unknowingly filled your tank with rage and anger. You are now jump to judgment. You are fast to fury. You instantly become irritated. Over time, over years and years of this pattern, you learn to trust no one. You learn to be expect the worst from people. You build a wall to shield you from more pain. And the quality of your life gradually becomes miserable. It’s insidious. Without awareness, you become an emotional time bomb that explodes under any additional difficulties.

There is a better way to live. It requires learning the human strength of forgiveness. Forgiveness takes some awareness and practice, but it can be learned.

All you have to do is learn how to dump out your emotional gas tank. Turn it upside down and release every last bit of negative emotions – anger, fear, disappointment and sadness. Once you’ve emptied your tank, you have the option of filling it up with what you choose – love, joy, peace and patience.

The problem is that no one ever taught you HOW to empty out your gas tank of these destructive emotions. Once you learn how to dump out all that rage and pain, then you have a choice. Then you will have a life of which you can be proud.

To find out how the specific steps to forgive and dump out your destructive emotions, you can enjoy the full article for free at
http://www.guidetoself.com/articles/Forgiveness-WhatWhyHow.pdf

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Preventing Bullies from Becoming Prisoners

25. August 2008 by John Schinnerer.

Prevent Bullies Before They Become Prisoners: Sixty Percent of Bullies Have One Conviction by the Age 24

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

www.GuideToSelf.com

A ten-year-old boy is told repeatedly that he is a “weakling” and a “girly man,” yelled at and teased in a tone of voice tinged with disgust and disdain. Is this bullying? What if it leads to a fist fight? How do you know when someone crosses the line between cruel teasing and bullying? Does emotional bullying have any “real” physical consequences? And perhaps, most importantly, if you are dealing with a true bully, what do you do about it? Let’s start by figuring out what bullying is and then move on to what the consequences are and the best ways to deal with it.

Bullying Defined

Bullying takes place when a one or more kids repeatedly harass, intimidate, hit, or ignore another youngster who is physically weaker, smaller or has a lower social status. Realize that adults can also engage in bullying, particularly what I call emotional bullying. However, today we’ll focus on young people.

Note that a single fistfight between two kids of similar size and social power is not bullying; neither is the occasional teasing.

Physical bullying is seen in both boys and girls, but it is more common among boys. Girls typically use emotional bullying more so than boys. Bullying can take a number of forms.

• Bullying can be physical (hitting, shoving, or taking money or belongings) or emotional (Causing fear by threats, insults and/or exclusion from conversations or activities).

• Boys tend to use physical intimidation (hitting or threatening to hit) as well as insults, and they often act one-on-one. Girls are more likely to bully in groups by using the silent treatment towards another girl or gossiping about her.

• Kids are often bullied through putdowns about their appearance, such as being teased about being different than other children or for the way they talk, dress, their size, their appearance and so on. Making fun of children’s religion or race occurs far less frequently.

Bullying begins in elementary school and is most common in middle school; it fades but not completely in high school. It usually occurs in school areas that are not well supervised by teachers or other adults, such as on playgrounds, lunch rooms, and bathrooms. Much of it takes place after school at a location known to students and unsupervised by adults. When I was in middle school, there was a Christmas tree farm where all fights took place. When I was a psych at a middle school, there was a dry creek bed nearby where fights took place. There is always a certain spot that is well known to the students where altercations occur. One way to prevent bullying is to be aware of this spot and police it regularly after school. And realize that the spot will move as soon as the adults become aware of it.

Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intended to cause harm or distress, occurs repeatedly over time, and occurs in a relationship in which there is an imbalance of power or strength. Bullying can take many forms, including physical violence, teasing and name-calling, intimidation, and social exclusion. It can be related to hostile acts perpetrated against racial and ethnic minorities, gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual youth, and persons with disabilities.

Ninety percent of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of some form of bullying at some time in their past. Boys are typically more physically aggressive (physical bullying), whereas girls rely more on social exclusion, teasing, and cliques (verbal or emotional bullying). Bullying can also take the form of cyber communication, e.g., via email (cyber bullying). It is estimated that one in four boys who bully will have a criminal record by age 30.

Who are the bullies?

Children who regularly bully their peers tend to be impulsive, easily frustrated, dominant in personality, have difficulty conforming to rules, view violence positively and are more likely to have friends who are also bullies. Boys who bully are usually physically stronger than their peers.Moreover, several risk factors have been associated with bullying, including individual, family, peer, school, and community factors. With respect to family factors, children are more likely to bully if there is a lack of warmth and parent involvement, lack of parental supervision, and harsh corporal discipline. Some research suggests a link between bullying behavior and child maltreatment. Also, schools that lack adequate adult supervision tend to have more instances of bullying. Psychological research has debunked several myths associated with bullying, including one that states bullies are usually the most unpopular students in school. A 2000 study by psychologist Philip Rodkin, PhD, and colleagues involving fourth-through-sixth-grade boys found that highly aggressive boys may be among the most popular and socially connected children in elementary classrooms, as viewed by their fellow students and even their teachers. Another myth is that the tough and aggressive bullies are basically anxious and insecure individuals who use bullying as a means of compensating for poor self-esteem. Using a number of different methods including projective tests and stress hormones, Olweus concludes that there is no support for such a view. Most bullies had average or better than average self-esteem. Who is being bullied? Children who are bullied are often cautious, sensitive, insecure, socially isolated, and have difficulty asserting themselves among their peers. Boys who are bullied tend to be physically weaker than their peers. Children who have been victims of child abuse (neglect, physical, or sexual abuse) or who have disabilities are also more likely to be bullied by their peers. How common is bullying? In 2002, it was reported that 17 percent of students reported having been bullied “sometimes” or more frequently during the school term. About 19 percent reported bullying others “sometimes” or more often. And six percent reported both bullying and having been bullied. However, in a 2003 study from UCLA, it was reported that almost 50% of sixth graders in two Los Angeles-area public schools report being bullied by classmates during a five-day period.New research from the Secret Service and the U.S. Department of Education on 37 school shootings, including Columbine, found that almost three-quarters of student shooters felt bullied, threatened, attacked or injured by others. In fact, several shooters reported experiencing long-term and severe bullying and harassment from their peers.What’s more, roughly 45% of teachers report having bullied a student in their past. This comes from a 2006 study which defined bullying “using power to punish, manipulate, or disparage a student beyond what would be a reasonable disciplinary procedure.”

The Effects of Bullying

Bullying exerts long-term and short-term psychological effects on both bullies and their victims. Bullying behavior has been linked to other forms of antisocial behavior, such as vandalism, shoplifting, skipping and dropping out of school, fighting, and the use of drugs and alcohol.Victims of bullying experience loneliness and often suffer humiliation, insecurity, loss of self-esteem, and thoughts of suicide. Furthermore, bullying can interfere with a student’s engagement and learning in school. The impact of frequent bullying often accompanies these victims into adulthood. A study done in 2003 found that emotional bullying such as repeated name-calling has as much of a damaging impact on well-being as being beat up. Dr. Stephen Joseph, from the University of Warwick, states, “Bullying and particularly name calling can be degrading for adolescents. Posttraumatic stress is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a frightening event or ordeal in which physical harm occurred or was threatened, and research clearly suggests that it can be caused by bullying. It is important that peer victimization is taken seriously as symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety and depression are common amongst victims and have a negative impact on psychological health.”As with smoking and drinking, youthful bullying can have serious long-term effects. Norwegian psychologist Dan Olweus, PhD, for example, reported in “Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do” (Blackwell, 1993) that 60 percent of boys who bully had at least one conviction by age 24, and 40 percent had three or more convictions.

Other studies found that about 20 percent of American middle school children say they bully others sometimes. Such youngsters tend to have multiple problems: They’re more likely to fight, steal, drink, smoke, carry weapons and drop out of school than non-bullies.

That said, recent research has exploded some common myths about bullies: in particular, that they’re isolated loners with low self-esteem. In fact, many bullies are reasonably popular and tend to have “henchmen” who aid their negative behaviors.

New and innovative research

A nationally representative study of 15,686 students in grades six through 10, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Vol. 285, No. 16) is among the most recent to document the scope of bullying in U.S. schools.This study found that:* Bullying occurs most frequently from sixth to eighth grade, with little variation between urban, suburban, town and rural areas.

* Males are more likely to be bullies and victims of bullying than females. Males are more likely to be physically bullied, while females are more likely to be verbally or psychologically bullied, although there is recent evidence (Sept. 2008) that shows that females are just as likely to use physical violence as males.

* Bullies and victims of bullying have difficulty adjusting to their environments, both socially and psychologically. Victims of bullying have greater difficulty making friends and are lonelier.

* Bullies are more likely to smoke and drink alcohol, and to be poorer students.

* Bully-victims–students who are both bullies and recipients of bullying–tend to experience social isolation, to do poorly in school and to engage in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking.

In the past, bullying behavior was looked at in an either/or fashion – either you are a bully or you are a victim. However, some children report that they’re both a bully and a victim at different times.

Bully-victims experience higher levels of depression and anxiety than the bully-only group or the victim-only group. Those who fall into the bully-victim subgroup are more troubled in terms of internal problems. They carry a great deal of anger, fear and sadness within them and don’t have any tools to release it. Studies have shown that, despite thinking they know how to identify bullies, teachers aren’t all that good at actually doing so. Administrators and teachers in schools overestimate their effectiveness in identifying and intervening in bullying situations.

This can have troubling implications. For example, to contain costs, some schools hold intervention programs in group settings. If bully-victims are in the group, they may cause problems for students who are solely victims. It’s more productive for bully-victims to be treated separately.

Mediation programs for bullies and victims are also problematic. Peer mediation may be appropriate in resolving conflict between students with equal power, but bullying is a type of victimization. Just as child abuse is a form of victimization between parties of unequal power, so too is bullying.

Solutions for bullying

Many anti-bullying programs don’t use research and are thus are likely to fail. Those that work off the myth that the root of bullying is low self-esteem may produce more confident bullies but they probably won’t have a significant effect on any bullying behavior.

What’s more, the common approach of grouping bullies together for group counseling tends to increases their bullying. You’ve just put them in a peer group of bullies who reinforce their destructive behaviors.

And conflict resolution or mediation–which assumes equal power between bullies and their victims–may retraumatize those who have been bullied. Pop treatments usually fail because they focus on only one aspect of the problem.

Bullying is a complex problem. There are multiple reasons for bullying. Successful programs take a holistic approach to preventing bullying. This means that they create new school norms for acceptable behavior, involving all facets of the school–students, parents and teachers, psychologists and more.

Global buffers

Indeed, key to the success of any intervention is appropriate adult guidance and support, presenters agreed. Adults supervise their children about 40 percent less than they did 30 years ago, statistics show, and this and related phenomena have been correlated with problem behaviors. The trend, they added, occurs at a time when teens report wanting more parental attention and family time.

Research shows that parents can be effective interventionists. In a 2001 article, when parents learned to effectively communicate information on binge drinking to their precollege teens, the young people returned from their first semester of college significantly less likely to drink than a control group.

Teaching your children emotional intelligence (EQ), or how to manage one’s emotions, results in less illicit drug use and far less physical violence. Those with lower EI had more substance abuse problems and more frequent fights.

The biggest challenge for teens is to develop the self-regulatory abilities implied by high EQ, and that adults can aid in that process. It’s important to help children and teens find ways to identify their emotions - deep breathing,  journaling, greater bodily awareness, exercise, yoga, meditation and so on. These are all ways to become more aware of your emotions, so you can in turn manage your emotions more effectively. It’s all about emotional intelligence. Parents must also be involved in their children’s lives and intervene in a supportive and empathetic nature if they believe their child or another child is being bullied. To help prevent bullying, parents should enforce clear and concise behavioral guidelines and reward children for positive, inclusive behavior. Furthermore, parents should seek assistance from the school’s principal, teachers, and counselors if concerns regarding their child’s or another child’s behavior arises.

Sometimes bullying is easy to spot–a child pushing another on the playground or shoving a classmate’s face into the water fountain. Other times bullying is less overt–children spreading rumors, teasing peers or excluding a classmate from games at recess. This veiled type of bullying–known as relational or covert aggression–can be harder for parents and teachers to see and prevent. What’s more, previous research suggests that relational aggression increases and intensifies as children get older and become more emotionally and socially sophisticated.

Studies report that the rates of aggression are rising in middle school girls. “It’s always been the case that we expect rates of aggression and delinquency to increase for boys, while girls were considered somewhat protected,” said Julia Graber, a UF psychologist who did the research. “In this study, it’s clear that the differences between girls and boys are diminishing.”

Unlike boys, girls in the study reported feeling increasing amounts of anger between sixth and seventh grades, she said. Both groups reported a decline in self-control. The study of 1,229 students at 22 public and parochial schools in New York City found that the proportion of girls committing five or more aggressive acts in a month, such as “hitting someone” or “pushing or shoving someone on purpose” jumped from 64 percent to 81 percent between sixth and seventh grades. For boys, it rose from 69 percent to 78 percent.

“Girls’ entry into adolescence is generally thought of as a vulnerable time for depression, and studies tend to focus on girls’ emotional experiences with sadness and depressed moods,” Graber said. “What’s interesting about this study is that we see an increase in a different negative emotional experience, and that’s anger.”

Bullying among primary school age children has become recognized as an antecedent to more violent behavior in later grades. Statistics on violence in our country tell a grim story with a clear message. Some children learn how to dominate others by foul means rather than by fair, setting a pattern for how they will behave as adults (bullies). Other children are more easily dominated, suffer miserably, often in silence, and develop a victim mentality that they may be unable to over-come as adults (victims). Action is needed to end purposeful harassment, and bullying.

Signs that a child is being bullied

Children who are being bullied may be embarrassed to talk about what is going on. Parents (or other adults) may notice signs that point to bullying. Your child may:

• Have scrapes, bruises or other signs of physical injury.

• Come home from school without some belongings such as clothes, or money.

• Come home from school quite hungry, saying they lost his or her lunch.

• Develop ongoing physical problems, such as headaches or stomachaches.

• Have sleep disturbances and nightmares.

• Pretend to be sick or make other excuses to avoid school or other situations.

• Change their behavior, such as withdrawing, becoming sad, angry or aggressive.

• Cry often.

• Become more fearful when certain people or situations are mentioned.

• See a sudden drop in grades or have more difficulty learning new material.

• Talk about suicide as a way out.

How to help the child who is being bullied

The key to helping your child deal with bullying is to help him or her regain a sense of dignity and recover damaged self-esteem. To help ward off bullies, give your child these tips:

• Temporarily hold the anger. It’s natural to want to get really angry with a bully, but that’s exactly the response the bully is aiming for. Not only will getting angry or aggressive not solve the problem, it will only make it worse. Bullies want to know they have control over your child’s emotions. Each time they get a reaction from your child, it adds fuel to the bully’s fire - getting angry just makes the bully feel more powerful. Remind your child that anyone that makes you angry has control over you. Help your child work at staying calm through deep breathing and turning their attention to more pleasant thoughts while being picked on.

• Never get physical or bully back. Emphasize that your child should never use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing) to deal with a bully. Not only does that show anger, your child can never be sure what the bully will do in response. Tell your child that it’s best to hang out with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.

• Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Tell your child to look the bully in the eye and say something like, “I want you to stop right now.” Counsel your child to then walk away and ignore any further taunts. Encourage your child to “walk tall” and hold his or her head up high (using this type of body language sends a message that your child isn’t vulnerable). Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and by walking away, or ignoring hurtful emails or instant messages, your child will be telling the bully that he or she just doesn’t care. Sooner or later, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother your child.

• Use humor. If your child is in a situation in which he or she has to deal with a bully and can’t walk away with poise, tell him or her to use humor or give the bully a compliment to throw the bully off guard. However, tell your child not to use humor to make fun of the bully.

• Tell an adult. If your child is being bullied, emphasize that it’s very important to tell an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help to stop it. Studies show that schools where principals crack down on this type of behavior have less bullying.

• Talk about it. It may help your child to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend - anyone who can give your child the support he or she needs. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when your child is being bullied.

• Use the buddy system. Enlisting the help of friends or a group may help both your child and others stand up to bullies. The bully wants to be recognized and feel powerful, after all, so a lot of bullying takes part in the presence of peers. If the bully is picking on another child, tell your child to point out to the bully that his or her behavior is unacceptable and is no way to treat another person. This can work especially well in group situations (i.e., when a member of your child’s circle of friends starts to pick on or shun another member). Tell your child to make a plan to buddy up with a friend or two on the way to school, on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess or lunch - wherever your child thinks he or she might meet the bully. Tell your child to offer to do the same for a friend who’s having trouble with a bully. When one person speaks out against a bully, it gives others license to add their support and take a stand, too.

• Develop more friendships by joining social organizations, clubs, or sports programs. Encourage regular play visits with other children at your home. Being in a group with other kids may help to build your child’s self-esteem and give your child a larger group of positive peers with whom to spend time.

Of course, you may have to intervene in persistent cases of bullying. That can involve walking to school with your child and talking to your child’s teacher, school counselor, or principal. Safety should be everyone’s concern. If you’ve tried the previous methods and still feel the need to speak to the bullying child’s parents, it’s best to do so within the context of the school, where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.

If your child is the bully

Learning that your child is a bully can be shocking. But it’s important to remain calm and avoid becoming defensive, as that can make a bad situation worse. You may have a greater impact if you express disappointment - not anger - to your child. Because bullying often stems from unhappiness or insecurity, try to find out if something is bothering your child. Children who bully aren’t likely to confess to their behavior, but you’ll need to try to get your child to talk by asking some specific, hard-hitting questions, such as:

• How do you feel about yourself?

• How do you think things are going at school and at home?

• Are you being bullied?

• Do you get along with other kids at school?

• How do you treat other children?

• What do you think about being considered a bully?

• Why do you think you’re bullying?

• What might help you to stop bullying?

To get to the bottom of why your child is hurting others, you may also want to schedule an appointment to talk to your child’s school counselor or another mental health professional (your child’s doctor should be able to refer you to someone). If you suspect that your child is a bully, it’s important to address the problem to try to mend your child’s mean ways. After all, bullying is violence, and it often leads to more antisocial and violent behavior as the bully grows up. In fact, as many as one out of four elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they’re 30.

Helping your child stop bullying

Although not all bullying stems from family problems, it’s a good idea to examine the behavior and personal interactions your child witnesses at home. If your child lives with taunting or name-calling from a sibling or from you or another parent, it could be prompting aggressive or hurtful behavior outside the home. What may seem like innocent teasing at home may actually model bullying behaviors. Children who are on the receiving end of it learn that bullying can translate into control over children they perceive as weak.

Constant teasing - whether it’s at home or at school - can also affect a child’s self-esteem. Children with low self-esteem can grow to feel emotionally insecure. They can also end up blaming others for their own shortcomings. Making others feel bad (bullying) can give them a sense of power.

Of course, there will be moments that warrant constructive criticism: for example, “I counted on you to put out the trash and because you forgot, we’ll all have to put up with that stench in the garage for a week.” But take care not to let your words slip into criticizing the person rather than the behavior: “You’re so lazy. I bet you just pretend to forget your chores, so you don’t have to get your hands dirty.” Focus on how the behavior is unacceptable, rather than the person. Home should be a safe haven, where children aren’t subjected to uncomfortable, harsh criticism from family and loved ones.

In addition to maintaining a positive home atmosphere, there are a number of ways you can encourage your child to give up bullying:

• Emphasize that bullying is a serious problem. Make sure your child understands you will not tolerate bullying and that bullying others will have consequences at home. For example, if your child is cyber bullying, take away the technologies he or she is using to torment others (i.e., computer, cell phone to text message or send pictures). Or instruct your child to use the Internet to research bullying and note strategies to reduce the behavior. Other examples of disciplinary action include restricting your child’s curfew if the bullying and/or teasing occur outside of the home; taking away privileges, but allowing the opportunity to earn them back; and requiring your child to do volunteer work to help those less fortunate.

• Teach your child to treat people who are different with respect and kindness. Teach your child to embrace, not ridicule, differences (i.e., race, religion, appearance, special needs, gender, economic status). Explain that everyone has rights and feelings.

• Find out if your child’s friends are also bullying. If so, seek a group intervention through your child’s principal, school counselor, and/or teachers.

• Set limits. Stop any show of aggression immediately and help your child find nonviolent ways to react.

• Observe your child interacting with others and praise appropriate behavior. Positive reinforcement is more powerful than negative discipline.

• Talk with school staff and ask how they can help your child change his or her bad behavior. Be sure to keep in close contact with the staff.

• Set realistic goals and don’t expect an immediate change. As your child learns to modify his or her behavior, assure your child that you still love him or her - it’s the behavior you don’t like.

Be aware that bullying also takes place between adults, as well as between adults and children. Anywhere there is a power imbalance; there is the risk of bullying. Athletic coaching is a fertile ground for bullying young athletes. As more is learned about bullying and the serious consequences of it, more and more zero tolerance policies will be adopted. Until then, stay aware of subtle cues of bullying in children. The first step is awareness. With greater awareness, bullying can be nipped in the bud.
 

About the Author

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.Dr. John Schinnerer is Chief Communication Officer at Emotion Mining Company, which has a powerful and patented method to measure conscious and subconscious emotions. This method is used for marketing and branding, leadership development, organizational change, and individual counseling and coaching.Prior to this, Dr. Schinnerer was President of Guide To Self, a company that focuses on coaching individuals and groups to their potential using the latest in psychology, psychoneuroimmunology and physiology. Most recently, Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been a coach and psychologist for over 10 years.

Dr. Schinnerer is also President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Infinet was founded in 1997 and has worked with companies such as UPS, CSE Insurance Group and Schreiber Foods. Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development to sports psychology. He is a noted speaker and author on topics such as emotional intelligence, sports psychology, and executive leadership.

Dr. Schinnerer wrote, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which was recently awarded the “Best Self-Help Book of 2007” by East Bay Express. He has written articles on corporate ethics and EQ in the workplace for Workspan magazine, HR.com, and Business Ethics. He has given numerous presentations, radio shows and seminars to tens of thousands of people for organizations such as SHRM, NCHRA, KNEW and KDIA.

Posted in Nervousness, Social anxiety disorder, Social phobia, School psychology, Victims of bullying, School age bullies, Staying calm, Anxiety, Forgiveness, Counseling, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Bullies | Print | No Comments »

Everything You Need to Know to Beat Anxiety and Nerves!

3. March 2008 by John Schinnerer.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Anxiety (But Were Too Afraid To Ask)!

Dr. John Schinnerer, Emotion Mining Company (www.EmotionMining.com)

Anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in the world today but few people are even aware what anxiety is. A young man wastes time sitting in front of the telephone, agonizing becausehe’s afraid to make a call. He’s afraid to call a stranger in a business officeabout the phone bill because he’s afraid he’ll be imposing and they’ll be madwith him. It’s very hard for him to take rejection, even over the phone, evenfrom someone she doesn’t know. He’s especially afraid to call people he doesknow because he feels that he’ll be calling at the wrong time — the otherperson will be busy — and they won’t want to talk with him. He feels rejectedeven before he makes the call. Once the call is finished, he overanalyzes andthinks about the words that were used, the tone it was said in, and how hewas perceived by the other person….his nervousness and speeding thoughtsconcerning the call prove to him that he “screwed” this conversation up, too,just like he always does. Just thinking about the call is enough to call us hisanxiety. A young lady resists going to work since a meeting is scheduled the nextday. She knows that such meetings always include her co-workers discussingtheir current projects. The mere thought of talking in front of her peersspikes her anxiety. Sometimes she loses sleep the night before due to theanticipation of her upcoming nervousness. In other words, she becomesnervous about the prospect of being nervous. When the meeting is finallyfinished, a huge wave of relief comes over her as she begins to let go of theanxiety. Yet the memory of the meeting remains in the forefront of her mind.She is convinced she embarrassed herself and that everyone present sawhow nervous she was when she spoke, and how foolish she acted in themeeting. She recalls that in front of the boss she stammered, paused toolong, her face turned red, and she won’t remember what to say. The moviesare replayed in her mind over and over and over again. 

Another individual would like to go to out socially— and, in fact, he is trulylonely—yet he never goes out as he is unbearably nervous when meetingnew people. Groups of people make things worse for him. The idea of talkingto unknown people scares the daylights out of him. He is certain people willstare at him and expose him as an imposter. He is afraid they will reject himand humiliate him. Even if they act nice, they’ll surely notice his flushed face,frozen look and stuttering speech. They’ll sense his discomfort, mistake it forarrogance and dislike him. He feels he has no way to win. And so he spendsthe night alone again. He is in his comfort zone at home. Home is the onlyarea in which he feels totally at ease. Home is the only place he can relax. Hehasn’t gone out in seven years. In public, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is scrutinizing theirevery move and judging them, despite the rational knowledge that this is notthe case. Socially anxious people cannot relax in public. They cannot enjoythemselves when they are out. They can never truly settle down when othersare around. To them, it always seems like other people are negativelyjudging them. Regardless of their rational thoughts, they still feel extremelyself-consciousness while they are in the presence of others. For many, it isnearly impossible to relax and focus on anything other than the anxiety andthe fear. The anxiety is agonizing, making it easier to avoid social situationsand other people completely. Social anxiety is an extreme fear of social situations and conversing withother people which creates feelings of self-consciousness, fear of judgment,evaluation, and criticism. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy,humiliation, and depression. Social anxiety disorder (or social phobia) causes relationship problems formillions of people all over the world every day of their lives. In the UnitedStates, studies have recently shown social anxiety disorder to be the thirdlargest psychological disorder in the country. Such anxiety affectsapproximately 15 million Americans each year. In general, social anxiety isnot well understood by the mental health care field. As a result, people withsocial phobia are frequently misdiagnosed. Socially anxious people have beenmisdiagnosed as “schizophrenic”, “manic-depressive”, “clinically depressed”,and “personality disordered” to name a few. Often, anxiety exists together with depression or bipolar disorder. 

An example of a specific social phobia is the fear of speaking in front ofgroups. On the other hand, generalized social anxiety makes a personanxious, nervous, and uncomfortable in the vast majority of social situations.People who suffer from social anxiety disorder typically experienceconsiderable emotional distress in situations such as: Introductions to other peopleCriticism and JudgmentsBeing the center of attention (e.g., birthdays)Having someone watch while doing somethingTalking to people in positions of authority (e.g., doctors, PhDs and police)Social encounters, especially with strangersMaking “chit-chat” at social engagements The physiological symptoms that are associated with social anxiety frequentlyinclude intense dread, a quickening heart rate, blushing face, dry throat andmouth, shaking, difficulty swallowing, and muscle tension. Constant,pervasive, ongoing and intense anxiety is the most common symptom. People with social anxiety know that their anxiety does not make rationalsense. We know now that each one of us has two “types” of brain – theemotional brain and the thinking brain. These account for our emotionalintelligence and traditional intelligence. Therefore, knowing something is notthe same is not the same as feeling it. Sometimes we have feelings that areinconsistent with our thoughts. This is frequently the case in anxious people.They feel anxious despite their rational knowledge that there is nothing to beafraid of. 

Here are a few tips to help alleviate your anxiety… 1.     Think of the brain as a computer. In order for a computer to run any program at peak efficiency, it must have sufficient memory, disk space and processing speed. Many individuals with problems of impulsivity, disorganization, and distractibility do not have sufficient RAM (i.e., short-term memory), disk space (i.e., long-term memory) or processing speed in their brains due to underactivity in the prefrontal and temporal lobes of the brain. To best run the programs, the hardware (the brain) must be first optimized and then the programs (the information) need to be reinstalled (as it wasn’t properly received the first time through). Once the brain is running efficiently, strategies need to be introduced to help them be more effective at home, at work and in social relationships.  It is essential to improve the brain (biological), the outlook of the individual (psychological), and the intersections between the person and their environment (social) (Amen, 2001). One particular part of the brain has been shown to be involved in shifting from one thought to another – the anterior cingulate gyrus. When the anterior cingulate is too active, it results in people getting stuck in certain thought patterns and behaviors. Many difficulties with anxiety and depression have to do with a lack of flexibility of thought (or obsessing on certain negative thoughts) and may be related to an overactive anterior cingulate. If the rigidity of your thoughts and behaviors are causing difficulty in your relationships, you may want to discuss with your doctor the possibility of a serotonergic medication such as Prozac, Zoloft or Paxil which has been shown to be helpful in calming down the anterior cingulate gyrus (Amen, 2001). 2.     Eliminate all toxic elements from your lifestyle. This includes caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamines, nicotine, and sugars. For instance, marijuana use damages the physiology of the brain decreasing blood flow to key areas and reducing overall effectiveness. Marijuana use is especially harmful to the temporal lobes, which play an important role in memory, emotional stability, learning and temper control. Substance abuse of all kinds is particularly harmful to brain functioning. For example, a study done at UCLA demonstrated that cocaine addicts had 23 percent less brain activity overall compared to a group of people who had never used drugs (Amen, 2001).  

3.     The recommended diet according to many experts, including Barry Sears, PhD (author of The Zone) is a higher protein – lower carbohydrate diet with a minimum of sugars. This helps promote a more even mood, better focus, and improved cognitive ability. However, this is precisely the opposite form of diet that most of us are on currently. 4.     All of us benefit from intense aerobic exercise 30-45 minutes 5 times a week. Exercise increases blood flow to the brain. It also improves the availability of serotonin in the brain which provides a calming effect and allows individuals to shift their focus from one are to another more easily. This helps those who tend to obsess on certain thoughts or ‘overfocus’ on areas of interest.  5.     Work on correcting Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs. Negativity haunts us all at different times. This habit, when particularly strong, can lead to depression and social withdrawal. There are seven primary types of ANTs as laid out below: 

ANT	Type of ANT	How to counter the ANT
“I’m the worst at sports.”	“All or nothing” thinking.	This is not a rational thought. I’m not the worst. I just need more practice. Then, I’ll improve.
“She is always mad at me.”	“Always” thinking.	Watch for words like “always,” “never,” “no one,” “everyone,” “every time,” and “everything.”
“Others will just laugh at me and I’ll look stupid.”	Fortune telling.	Predicting the worst possible outcome. Replace negative thought with a positive image in your head (“They might like what I have to say.”). Learn deep breathing techniques (e.g., diaphragmatic breathing).
“I know she doesn’t like me.”	Mind reading.	Belief that you know what someone else is thinking. Remind yourself you can’t know another’s thoughts. Reframe the situation more positively. “She might like me. Maybe she is having a bad day.”
“I’m worthless.”	Labeling.	I may do some dumb things, but I’m not worthless. Similar to ‘All or nothing’ thinking.
“It’s all my the fault of my boss.”	Blaming.	What part did I play in creating the problem and how can we best solve it?
“I should do better in school.”	Guilt obsessions.	Watch out for the words “should,” “ought,” and “have to.” Reframe thought as “I want to…,” “It would be helpful to…”, or “It’s in my best interests to…”

6.     Deep breathing is essential in reducing temper flare-ups, anxiety, impulsivity, restlessness, insomnia, and lack of focus. Diaphragmatic breathing is a method of deep breathing where you breathe into the stomach or diaphragm. The emphasis is on exhaling all air in your lungs with each breath. The purpose of exhaling is to rid your body of waste products in the lungs, such as carbon dioxide. This allows the lungs to fill more completely with new air, which increases the flow of oxygen to all cells in your body, particularly the brain cells. Brains cells are among the most sensitive to oxygen deprivation. Slight variations in oxygen availability can change the way an individual thinks and behaves. When you get angry or anxious, your breathing becomes shallower, and oxygen content in the bloodstream is reduced. Less oxygen is then available to the brain, possibly resulting in increased irritability, impulsivity, anxiety, or confusion. To account for this, you must learn to breathe slowly and deeply with your stomach, not your chest.  7.     Smile. When we are happy we smile and when we smile, we feel happier. One of the most significant emerging principles in the neurology field in the 1990’s is the idea that the feedback between levels of the brain is bi-directional. In other words, messages travel both ways between various levels within the brain. So if you activate a higher level, such as the cortex, you will be priming a lower level, such as the cerebellum. And vice-versa. Thus, smiling, even when you don’t feel like it, can improve your mood! 8.     Socialize with other intelligent and interesting people. This is one of the best ways to keep expanding the networks in your brain, in your social life and in the business world. The verbal interaction with other capable individuals challenges your brain to create new connections and pathways.  9.     Challenge your brain daily with vocabulary exercises, quizzes, puzzles, crosswords, debates, anagrams and brainteasers. Attend current events seminars. Write in a journal. Axons and dendrites (i.e., neural pathways), which would normally shrink with age, branch out and make new connections. Given enough intellectual stimulation, you create an increased backup capability in your brain. In other words, the intellectual stimulation creates alternate pathways by which chemical messengers can communicate. Thus, if old pathways fail or are damaged, you are more likely to be able to reroute the necessary messages to essential parts of the brain.  Studies shave shown that people who taught, continued learning and constantly challenged their brains into old age lived longer and resisted Alzheimer’s better than those who did not.  To address overall health of the brain: 

Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. Berkeley Press, 2001.

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. Random House, 1999.

To improve self-assertiveness skills: Managing Assertively: How to Improve Your People Skills.  Madelyn Burley-Allen. John Wiley and Sons, 1995. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey, Ph.D. Franklin Covey Co., 1990. 

Goals and Goal Setting. Larrie Rouillard. Crisp Publications. 1998. To increase tolerance to stress and reduce anxiety:  The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Edmund Bourne, PhD. MJF Books, 1990. To address emotional sensitivity: The Heart of the Soul. Gary Zukav. Simon & Schuster, 2002.  Self-Coaching: How to Heal Anxiety and Depression. Joseph Luciani. John Wiley & Sons, 2001. Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn’t Teach You and Medication Can’t Give You. Richard O’Connor. Berkeley Pub. Group, 1999.

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Guide To Self:The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought by Dr. John Schinnerer

16. October 2006 by John Schinnerer.

Guide To Self:The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought
By Dr. John Schinnerer

**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

EDITORS: For review copies or interview requests, contact:
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Guide to Self: Psychologist Shows Readers How to Manage Emotions, Thoughts in New Book

ALAMO, Calif. – Emotions are the foundation of everything people say, think and do, says John L. Schinnerer, Ph.D., author of the new book, Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought (now available through AuthorHouse). In his book, Schinnerer helps readers find greater success and happiness at home and at work through awareness and management of their emotional landscape.

Despite the fact that emotions can vary greatly from person to person, Schinnerer discovered that emotional states can be managed by raising awareness of the current emotions, underlying mood and biological temperament. “Most people are born and die with the exact same temperament because they don’t realize that they have the power to change it to their liking,” he says.

Schinnerer explains to readers how they can change their emotions for the better, supported by peer-reviewed scientific research from top universities throughout the world, he says. Within the science, Schinnerer also incorporates spirituality and ethical awareness into his methods. “There is a growing awareness that spirituality is integral to a person’s well-being,” he says. “A full 85 - 95 percent of Americans believe that spiritual faith and religious beliefs are closely tied to their emotional and mental health, and they’re right!”

With a holistic approach to thoughts, emotions and spirituality, Schinnerer’s step-by-step guide helps readers manage thoughts and feelings to realize their potential, resulting in less suffering and more happiness, he says. “You are far more powerful than you ever dared to dream. You can have a profound impact on your emotions, your thoughts and your happiness,” says Schinnerer.

Schinnerer holds a doctorate in psychology from the University of California at Berkeley and has 12 years of experience in research and practice. He is the founder of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company that uses new methodology to evaluate emotional IQ, traditional IQ, ethics, personality traits and knowledge for success in the workplace. Schinnerer is also the president of Guide to Self, a company dedicated to coaching executives and managers on the best practices for emotional management, the single best predictor of success for white collar jobs. He hosted “Guide to Self Radio” in the San Francisco Bay Area for a year, airing more than 200 shows. Guide to Self is Schinnerer’s first book. More information can be found at www.guidetoself.com.

AuthorHouse is the premier publishing house for emerging authors and new voices in literature. For more information, please visit www.authorhouse.com.

###

Dr. John Schinnerer, Guide To Self, Inc. copyright 2005-2006.All rights reserved

Copyright 2005-06 Guide To Self, John Schinnerer, PhD.

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A kind, caring and supportive family environment can actually turn off depression

13. October 2006 by John Schinnerer.

Recent research from Shelley Taylor at UCLA shows that a kind, caring and supportive family environment can actually turn off a gene linked to depression.

Source: University of California - Los Angeles

Date: October 13, 2006

Early Family Experience Can Reverse The Effects Of Genes, Psychologists Report

Early family experience can reverse the effect of a genetic variant linked to depression, UCLA researchers report in the current issue of the journal Biological Psychiatry.

Among children from supportive, nurturing families, those with the short form of the serotonin transporter gene (known as 5-HTTLPR) had a significantly reduced risk for depression, found the UCLA team, under the direction of Shelley E. Taylor, UCLA distinguished professor of psychology and an expert in the field of stress and health. The research team also found that among children from emotionally cold, unsupportive homes marked by conflict and anger, those with the short form of the 5-HTTLPR gene were at greater risk for depression, as some previous research has also shown.

The 118 young adult men and women who participated in the study completed assessments of depression, early family environment and current stress. They were asked, for example, how often they had been loved and cared for, shown physical affection or insulted and sworn at by their families. Saliva samples were used to determine if the participants’ standing on the 5-HTTLPR had two short alleles (s/s), a short and a long allele (s/l) or two long alleles (l/l) for the serotonin transporter gene. (An allele is any of several forms of a gene.)

The research showed that a person’s likelihood of developing symptoms of depression was not predicted by the particular combination of alleles alone; rather, it was the combination of the person’s environment and genetic variant s/s that determined whether the person experienced symptoms of depression, said Taylor, principal investigator on the study.
Among the study’s implications is that the short form of the 5-HTTLPR is “highly responsive to environmental influence” and, rather than predicting risk for depression, its effects vary substantially, depending on how supportive the external environment is, Taylor said.

These conclusions were bolstered by parallel evidence collected by the team showing that a supportive environment reduced the risk of depression among those with the s/s form of the 5-HTTLPR gene, while those experiencing a great deal of stress in their lives had an increased risk of depressive symptoms if they had the s/s variant of the gene. “Genes are not destiny,” Taylor said. “Although some genes confer particular risks, others, such as variants of the 5-HTTLPR, are clearly highly responsive to input from the early and current environment. That means, among other conclusions, that there is an important role that parents and even friends can play in providing protection against the risk of depression that stress can confer.” The study adds a new component to evidence that the environment can regulate biology and steer the effects of genetic predispositions.

“It indicates just how important a loving and caring family can be,” said Baldwin Way, a co-investigator on the project. The other members of the research team, from UCLA’s department of psychology and department of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences, are William Welch, Clayton Hilmert, Barbara Lehman and Naomi Eisenberger.

Taylor was honored Oct. 7 with the inaugural Clifton Strengths Prize, which recognizes the life and work of Donald O. Clifton, past chairman of The Gallup Organization. The prize, which will be presented every two years, recognizes groundbreaking theory, research and practice in “strengths-based psychology.” Clifton’s philosophy was for people to focus on what was positive and right with themselves and to build on their strengths to achieve their full potential, Gallup said. Taylor’s research showing how a supportive environment reverses the impact of a genetic risk factor is an example of the work for which she was honored.

The research published in Biological Psychiatry was federally funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, and the National Science Foundation, with additional funding from and UCLA’s Center for Psychoneuroimmunology.

In previous research, Taylor and UCLA colleagues, including psychology professor Rena Repetti, reported strong evidence that children who grow up in risky families often suffer lifelong health problems, including cancer, heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, obesity, depression and anxiety disorders, as well as early death (Psychological Bulletin, March 2002, Vol. 128, No. 2, pp. 330–366). A child’s genetic predispositions may be exacerbated by the family environment, and this combination can lead to the faster development of health problems in risky families, which may be more debilitating than they would be in a more nurturing family, the researchers found.

Guide To Self(C) 2005-2006.

Copyright 2005-06 Guide To Self, John Schinnerer, PhD.

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Natural Supplements to Improve Your Mood and Make Your Life Happier!

29. September 2006 by John Schinnerer.

Hey! Dr. John Schinnerer here! I am a U.C. Berkeley-trained psychologist. Having done some research into supplements and mood, I thought I’d contribute to the conversation. To begin with, here are the ground rules of natural supplements which affect the brain.

First, these recommendations are only for those who are interested in living a longer and happier life, those of you who want to maintain a healthy brain throughout your life based on the latest in scientific research.

The best approach to getting the nutrients to your brain depends upon the ability to combine a healthy approach to life with the right combination of nutrients in the correct dosages. Our brain requires a lot of supplements in small dosages as opposed to one supplement in a large dose. This fact is demonstrated by Ray Kurzweil, co-author of the Fantastic Voyage: Live Long Enough to Live Forever, who takes 250 supplements per day. In contrast, I take 30 supplements per day. I am still playing catch up to Ray’s knowledge base.

Second, each nutrient has an ideal dosage for you. If you take too much, it may result in negative side effect. Be careful when taking two or more supplements together as their effects might be cumulative and build upon one another.

Third, you want to start with a low dose and slowly increase it over time – days or weeks – to avoid side effects.

Fourth, most of the supplements are best taken in the morning.

Fifth, don’t assume that all supplements available on the pharmacy shelf are effective or safe. What I’m sharing with you is the latest info on supplements as of today. This knowledge base is likely to change down the road.

Finally, always talk to your doctor prior starting any routine that involves supplements.

Please understand that there is still a great deal that we don’t know about the brain and its nutritional requirements. The brain is one of the last frontiers to be explored and understood by humankind. You need to decide for yourself which supplements are right for you.

So, without further ado, here are a few of the latest, scientifically proven ways to safeguard your brain and create a happier mood.

5-HTP

Low levels of serotonin (a chemical in the brain) are related to obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, interrupted sleep, aggressiveness, moodiness, overfocusing and rigid thinking. 5-HTP helps sleep, improves your mood, and decreases irritability by increasing the serotonin levels in the brain. A number of double blind studies have shown 5-HTP to be as effective as antidepressant medication when treating depression.

Recommended dose: 50 to 300 milligrams per day. 5-HTP taken on an empty stomach will improve absorption. A possible side effect of 5-HTP is an upset stomach. To reduce this possibility, start with the minimum dose (50 mg) and slowly work your way up to the desired dose over a 1 to 2 week period.

The serotonin pathway is as follows: Tryptophan  5-HTP  Serotonin  N-acetyl-serotonin  Melatonin. Both 5-HTP and L-tryptophan are available as nutritional supplements. However, 5-HTP is more readily absorbed into the brain than L-tryptophan. Seventy percent of 5-HTP penetrates the blood-brain barrier while only 3% of L-tryptophan is absorbed into the brain.

Aspirin Therapy Improves Arteries and Keeps the Communication Lines Open to the Brain

As I have touched on before, the health and functioning of your brain is directly related to the health of your arteries and your heart and the quality of your blood. This is a relationship that surprised Cliff, the producer of my radio show, (Guide To Self Radio) whom I dearly love, and who scared all of us recently when he had a minor heart attack a few weeks ago. Fortunately, he is fine and getting stronger each day – Thank you, Lord.

One step you can take to prevent heart attack, keep your blood thin, prevent inflammation of the arteries, and sustain the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain is aspirin therapy. Aspirin helps your blood from clotting. It may also help the body create more blood vessels so that when clots do form, there are alternate routes, around the clot, that the blood can use to get to its many destinations. Among other things, Cliff is now taking aspirin daily. On top of the heart-related benefits, aspirin reduces your likelihood of dementia and Alzheimer’s. We think it’s because it help keep the arteries young and healthy. However, do NOT take Advil, or ibuprofen, together with aspirin as they cancel each other out.

For those of you over 40 years of age, I strongly urge you to look at the possibility of taking 162 mg of aspirin each. It’s recommended that you drink ½ glass of water before and after taking the aspirin to reduce wear and tear on the stomach lining. According to “You: The Owner’s Manual”, aspirin therapy has a long-term effect of making you the equivalent of 2.3 years younger when your 55.

My mom stays in good physical health and keeps her brain in great shape. She is very mentally active and one of the smartest people I know. About ten years ago, my mom was up at our family cabin in Tahoe by herself where had a mini-stroke several years ago and I can tell you that is a scary occurrence when the brain wiring goes haywire in a loved one. As her left side quickly became paralyzed, she pulled herself over to the phone to call 911. However, her face on her left side was growing paralyzed as well, making it difficult to speak and be understood. Fortunately, the dispatcher understood enough to get her assistance and she was rushed to the hospital. She recovered fully from the mini-stroke, but it provides a stark reminder of our need to take excellent care of ourselves so as to reduce our risk of strokes, which are caused by blockages in the tiny arteries or by a blood vessel bursting in the brain.

Vitamin E to Stave Off Alzheimer’s

Vitamin E has been shown in some studies to help fight off Alzheimer’s. In one study, people who ate more than 23 IU (international units) of vitamin E had a 43% reduction in their risk of Alzheimer’s. In addition, ask your doctor about taking 400 international units (IU) to 1,000 IU of vitamin E daily for extra brain protection.

Understand that there is an elaborate link between the brain and the body. Chemical messengers that help the brain cells “talk” to one another are called neurotransmitters. They are like the postal service of the brain. They carry messages between brain cells.

While we’re on the topic of Alzheimer’s, I want to point out that your risk of Alzheimer’s increases by 30% for each hour of TV that you watch daily. While watching TV doesn’t cause Alzheimer’s, it does represent an inactive or sedentary lifestyle which contributes to the disease. Staying mentally and physically active will enhance the health of your brain as well as help prevent age-related diseases.

Get Your Omega-3 Fatty Acids for Better Health

Ever since 1945, the rates of depression have increased worldwide and the age of onset is moving downward – younger people are affected by it. This was noted by Dr. Gerald Klerman who found that each generation of individuals born since WWII appears to have a higher incidence and earlier age of onset of major depression and bipolar disorder. There are many theories for this. However, one of them points to the increase in our diets of sources of omega-6 oils (e.g. from corn and soy) and a decrease in Omega-3 fats. (Not proven).

Rates of depression have been found to be much lower in countries that eat a great deal of fish. In fact, the relationship is so strong, the rates of depression can actually be predicted based on per capita fish consumption!

Why? When a neurotransmitter binds to a receptor (in the brain) the receptor sets in motion within the cell a series of chemical processes known as signal transduction, amplifying the original signal. Mood stabilizers inhibit or dampen that amplification. It’s similar to building a dam across a raging river which quiets the downstream waters.

One of the most studied nutrient, is the Omega-3 fatty acids. About 60% of the brain is made up of fats (lipids) that make up the lining of every brain cell. Omega-3s are required by the brain to an extraordinary degree. They cannot be produced by our bodies but must be ingested via diet or pills. They are found in large, fatty, cold water fish, many types of nuts such as walnuts, flaxseed oil, olive oil, and canola oil.

Omega-3s help turn down the ‘volume’ of communications between brain cells (similar to the action of a mood stabilizer). Documented benefits of Omega-3 oils include improved mood, clearer thinking, more serenity, better concentration and focus, and better vision. While still under exploration, it is believed that omega-3s can help combat normal age-related deterioration of the brain, depression, anxiety, heart disease, and addictions. It’s been linked to pain relief, cancer prevention, lower blood pressure, and reduced asthma risk.

Many Americans only get as little as 200 mg per day of fish oils while Eskimos or Japanese people go as high as 10,000 mg per day due to their fish intake. The recommended daily dose is 2 to 5 g daily of a combination of the 2 key fatty acids in Omega 3s - EPA and DHA. Take 1-2 g with each meal. Little extra benefit has been found at dosages over 5 grams per day. Don’t worry too much about the particular break down or combination of amounts of EPA vs. that of DHA. Any combination of the two is fine. Future research may indicate that DHA is more beneficial, but we have not found that out yet, and supplements that contain DHA, by itself, tend to be more expensive.

Now, some people don’t like the fishy aftertaste you get from the fish oil supplements, so they take flaxseed oil instead. However, there is an important difference between fish oil and flaxseed oil. Fish oil contains the preformed omega-3 fatty acids, EPA and DHA. Flaxseed oil, on the other hand, has ALA, or alpha-linolenic acid, which is the precursor to omega-3 fatty acids that are in fish. Our bodies can convert ALA to EPA and DHA but the amount converted is minimal. So while flaxseed oil is good for you and thought to be heart healthy, it’s not a true substitute for fish oils.

The only 2 ways to bump up your daily fish oil intake is to eat fish or take fish oil supplements. As fish oil appears to substantially reduce the levels of triglycerides (dangerous blood fats) in your blood as well as get the necessary amounts of EPA and DHA. Fish oil at a daily dose of 2 – 5 grams has been shown to reduce triglyceride levels by 20 – 50%. So research suggests that fish oil is helpful to your heart as well as your brain, cutting your risk of heart disease. I can’t say enough about fish oil – it appears to lower the heart rate, fights arterial inflammation, reduce blood clot formation, and slows the buildup of plaque in arteries which leads to blockages, heart attacks, and strokes.

I personally take 4,000 mg per day of fish oil supplements and 2,000 mg per day of flaxseed oil.

One word of caution is that fish oil supplements of more than 3 g per day can thin the blood. When combined with blood thinners such as aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen, Vitamin E, ginkgo, garlic, phosphatidylserine (or PS), and prescription blood thinners, it could increase the risk of too much bleeding.

Be careful where you get your fish oil supplements. Make sure they screen out the mercury, a known neurotoxin, which means it kills brain cells. When eating fish, you may want to be aware of which fish are more likely to contain high levels of mercury. You can get the latest information on healthy fish at www.seafoodwatch.org.
A difference should be noticeable after approximately 3 weeks.

Recommended daily dose: 3 to 4 grams daily. Take an antioxidant with your fish oil to clean up any left over free radicals. Take 1 gram with each meal. Fish oils are one of the most critical components of optimizing your brain.

Choline for More Memory

Some of us are concerned about declines in memory. Personally, I know that my memory can never be strong enough. Research has shown that the level of phosphatidylcholine (PC) declines in the brain as we age. Choline helps form PC. Choline is found in eggs, fish, nuts, meats and vegetables.

Most people get roughly 300 to 900 mg per day from their diet. If you have a normal diet with adequate representation from all the food groups, you probably do not need a choline supplement.

Recommended daily dose: You should be getting enough from your diet. If you’re not getting enough, or if you want to try a supplement, 250 mg per day is a good dose to start at. You can work your way up to 500 mg with a goal to increase mental clarity and memory. Potential side effects include gastrointestinal distress, nausea, sweating and loss of appetite.

That should give you a few choices of supplements with which to begin. Remember, start with one supplement at a low dosage and build up to the desired dosage slowly. I have tried all of these supplements personally and found them helpful. Let me know if you find them helpful as well! All the best in health and happiness!
Warmest regards,

Dr. John Schinnerer
Guide To Self, Inc. – Positive Psychology Life Coaching

Contact Dr. John via email at DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com

For speaking inquiries, please call (925) 944-3440.

Check out Dr. John’s new book on the latest scientifically proven ways to a happier life, Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought
Infinet Assessment – Premiere workforce testing

Guide To Self(C) 2005-2006.

Copyright 2005-06 Guide To Self, John Schinnerer, PhD.

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How to Manage Stress with Dr. John Schinnerer

29. August 2006 by John Schinnerer.

Dr. John uses a humorous approach to defining and deconstructing stress - a topic we are all too familiar with. Stress is a leading cause in heart difficulties, relational problems, exhaustion, physical ailments such as sciatica and much, much more.

Find out how to defuse your ticking time bomb of a temper in this enlightening and entertaining show on Guide To Self Radio.

Look for Dr. John’s new book, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought” coming out September 5, 2006.

The Guide To Self website is http://www.guidetoself.com. You can reach Dr. John for speaking inquiries at
925-944-3440.

Guide To Self Radio is sponsored in part by Infinet Assessment, the lion of the employment testing jungle. Check them out at www.infinetassessment.com. Tests designed to fit your unique company culture and value system.
Duration:30 minutes, 9 seconds

MP3 File

Copyright 2005-06 Guide To Self, John Schinnerer, PhD.

Posted in Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Infinet Assessment, Depression, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Nervousness, Staying calm, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Guide to Self, Emotional IQ, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

How to replace your damaging core beliefs

6. July 2006 by John Schinnerer.

Changing Destructive Core Beliefs About Yourself
Dr. John Schinnerer
Coach and counselor

Coaching is a means to assist individuals in identifying their core values and using those values to set long-term goals. Each long-term goal is broken up into smaller, achievable tasks. In this manner, I can assure the eventual success of my clients by continuing to break down larger, more imposing challenges into smaller and smaller acts. Coaching is a major asset for reprogramming the mental tapes, or thoughts, that run through your head. Oftentimes, these thoughts are so quick you aren’t even consciously aware of them. Most times, these thoughts are negative and cause a negative reaction in our body. Ninety-nine percent of the time thoughts are laced with emotion. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions (i.e., sadness, anger, and fear primarily). Positive thoughts lead to positive emotions (i.e., happiness, contentment and relaxation). Coaching helps you to reprogram your old tapes and their accompanying feelings so you can feed your brain healthy messages and increase the amount of time you spend in positive emotions. Recent research has shown that the goal for a thriving life is 3 times as much positive emotion as negative emotion.

Change Your Negative Habits

Did you know that by changing your brain, you can change your life? You can. The brain relies on pathways between brain cells (neurons) to communicate messages from one area to another. You can create new pathways in your brain. You are capable of learning new ways of doing and being. To do so, you only need to do three things:

1. Become aware of your bad habit
2. Substitute a new and improved habit for the old one
3. Rehearse the new habit until it becomes automatic

When you learn new skills and attitudes, new pathways are created in your brain. The most efficient way to create these new pathways is by practicing the new task. The more you practice, the deeper engrained the pathway becomes in your brain.
The downside is that the more you continue to do the same old negative thoughts and behaviors, the more deeply engrained they become as well. However, you can change this at any moment by merely being aware of those thoughts you want to change and then consciously and intentionally substituting in a more positive thought.
Research has shown that our brain has the capability to create new pathways for as long as you live. This is exciting news because we used to believe the brain was incapable of growth and change after early adulthood. We now know that the brain continues to grow and adapt every day of our lives. Your brain is just like a muscle that needs exercise if you want to keep it in shape. And, believe me; you definitely want to keep your brain in shape!

Blazing a New Trail in Your Brain

At first, it seems difficult to learn a new skill or attitude. When you begin learning a new skill, the baby pathway between brain cells is like a hiking path in your brain. It’s made of dirt and has pebbles and rocks on it. It is not very well-traveled so messages have a more difficult time “walking” from one place to another. The more you try out the new skill, the stronger the pathway becomes. After some practice, the pathway grows from a hiking trail into a two-lane highway. Now the messages move quickly and easily between the brain cells. Over time, the new skill becomes automatic and the two-lane highway solidifies into a super highway where the messengers of the brain rocket back and forth. The more you practice a new behavior, the more automatic and easier it becomes.

Just as physical skills such as running, jumping and playing sports become automatic through repetition, so too do thoughts, emotions and attitudes. As you repeat positive thoughts, your underlying pathways in the brain become stronger. Eventually, these paths become hardwired into your brain’s circuitry.

Revisit Your Essential Core Beliefs

Your core beliefs, your stealthy, silent thoughts, matter tremendously. Take a close look at your core beliefs because they fuel your thinking. If your core beliefs are negative (e.g., “I always get the short end of the stick.”), then your thinking will be negative. Negative thoughts lead to destructive emotions. So take a close look at your core beliefs, those things that you believe deep down in the core of your being.

While not scientifically proven, there seems to be a triad of negative beliefs which are at the root of all other destructive beliefs. These three beliefs stem from a confusion that arises when you mistake who you are with what you do. You are not what you do. You are not merely what you believe. You are not only what you feel. Those are aspects, facets, of you, but they are not the essence of you. You are far more than mere actions, beliefs, or feelings.

Many people make the serious error of rating how well they achieve followed by rating themselves as a good or bad person. Most folks judge their worth based on their achievements, their successes, and their failures. It’s a ubiquitous error in judgment; everyone makes it unless taught otherwise. Logically, it seems to make sense. I, the individual, kick the ball well or poorly. The ball doesn’t kick itself. So I ‘logically’ judge my kicking ability as good or bad. Then, I ‘illogically’ rate myself as a bad kicker, a bad athlete, or even a bad person. It’s a mistake of overgeneralization. Most people overgeneralize from doing a bad act to being a bad person. That’s a fallacy. It’s wrong. Learn to separate your worth as an individual from your individual actions.

For example, I’m working with my nine year old son on the concept that he is far more than his ability on the baseball diamond. Whether he hits the ball well or not, he is still a great person. A bad day at the ballpark does not make him a bad individual. A bad act does not a bad person make. In the same vein, a good act does not make you a good person.

In order to be a bad person, you would have to consistently and frequently perform bad acts such as breaking the rules, not cooperating, and hurting others. This is hard to do and highly improbable. So even if you are responsible for a bad act, say kicking the ball poorly, you cannot judge yourself as a bad person. It’s impossible to be what you do. A bad person would only and always behave in a negative manner. And a good person would act in a positive manner towards everyone at all times. Neither of these two extremes is possible.

Three Most Damaging Core Beliefs

The three most damaging core beliefs that you can hold are as follows:

1) Other people MUST treat me fairly or they are bad people.
2) I MUST do well or else I am a bad person.
3) My life conditions MUST be the way I WANT them to be or I can’t deal with it and will NOT be happy.

There are many other irrational beliefs that you might hold, but these three seem to be at the bottom of nearly every one of them. Integral to each and every one of your irrational, negative beliefs are the words “must”, “should”, or “ought.”
The goal is to become aware of your negative core beliefs. Once you are aware of them, you can consciously substitute positive core beliefs for old, ineffective, untrue beliefs. Certain core beliefs have been proven to lead to greater well-being. The core beliefs that have been proven to work well are as follows:
Core Beliefs That Work Towards Well-being

1. You are incredibly important and matter tremendously to the rest of us.
2. You are not alone. You are surrounded by others who care.
3. There is no failure, only delayed success.
4. Lessons are repeated until learned.
5. Learning never ends.
6. The present is a better place to live than the past or the future.
7. You can handle it.
8. What you do with your life is entirely up to you.
9. All the answers lie within you. You have but to listen.
10. Always look for the good in people and events. You find what you look for.
11. Life is a roller coaster ride. Enjoy the ride.
12. Energy is limitless. You can tap into it at anytime.

Dr. John’s new book is coming out end of this summer. Look for it!

For coaching with Dr. John, call for an appointment at 925-944-3440. For individuals, fees run $150 per hour. Most appointments are done via phone.

Guide To Self(C) 2005-06.

Copyright 2005-06 Guide To Self, John Schinnerer, PhD.

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