23. May 2010 by John Schinnerer.

By John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

A worthy, successful and productive career as an executive requires behaving according to a set of personal values.  Values are the core beliefs upon which you operate your life. You may be aware of your core beliefs or you may not. In my executive coaching work, I’ve noticed that the many executives and managers do not have a clear idea what their top values are.

To get the most from your life, you must believe at your core that you are a worthy individual – worthy of loyalty, worthy of respect, worthy of friendship, worthy of quality friends, worthy of taking time to refill and renew yourself, worthy of a flourishing and productive life. To get the most from your life, you must know your values like the back of your hand.

Values are the guide rails by which we navigate through life. Values set the trigger points for your shame and guilt. When you veer too far from a particular value, your emotional alarm goes off in the form of guilt.

Henry David Thoreau -  ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.’

Ours is much too busy and noisy a world. Our lives take on a frenetic pace and people lose track of the values that give life meaning and purpose. Everyone says they are for values. The problem is their actions are not in keeping with their words.

Leaders who are unaware of their values are more likely to be inconsistent, fearful, and self-conflicted. The less we know what our values are, the more ambiguous our lives are. The more we understand our values, the better able we are to make right choices which lead to right action. This leads to decisive acts of courage which are primarily the ability to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done in spite of what people around you are doing.

There are several ways different ideas related to values: ethical energy, strengths and personal principles. When you throw in values themselves, you have consilience, or proof of the worth of an hypothesis due to the convergence of separate lines of research. And, as each of these ideas has a great deal of merit and inherent worth, let’s take a look at all of them.

Ethical Energy Defined

According to the authors of The Power of Full Engagement, ethical energy is…

‘… the connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose that is beyond our self-interest. Anything that ignites the human spirit serves to drive full engagement and to maximize performance in whatever mission we are on. The key muscle that fuels ethical energy is character – the courage and conviction to live by our values, even when doing so requires personal sacrifice and hardship. Ethical energy is sustained by balancing a commitment to others with adequate self-care….the capacity to live by our deepest values depends on regularly renewing our spirit – seeking ways to rest and rejuvenate and to reconnect with the values that we find most inspiring and meaningful.’

The alternative to living according to your values is to operate in survival mode, fueled by fear, mistrust and anxiety. Survival mode is marked by a sense of desperation where you are focused on filling your immediate needs for capital, sales and competent peers. Survival mode is also characterized by the mentality of a victim. Life happens to you, not because of you. If you are passively accepting everything that comes your way as inevitable, you are not living according to your values. You are living in survival mode.

Strengths Defined

Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, has put a slightly different twist on values. Seligman states, “To be a virtuous person is to display, by acts of will, all or at least most of the six ubiquitous virtues: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence. There are several distinct routes to each of these six. One can display a virtue, such as justice by acts of fairness and loyalty.” Seligman calls these routes strengths and each is measurable and acquirable. They are ubiquitous across cultures.

According to Seligman, there are seven criteria by which we know that a characteristic is a strength.

First, a strength is a trait, a psychological characteristic that can be seen across different situations and over time. 

Second, a strength is valued in its own right. We value a strength for its own sake, even in the absence of clear beneficial outcomes. While a strength can produce good consequences, it doesn’t have to. 

Third, a strength can be seen in what parents wish for in their newborn children. Strengths are states we desire that require no further justification. 

Fourth, onlookers are usually elevated and inspired by observing strengths. Strengths typically produce authentic positive emotion in the doer – pride, satisfaction, joy, and fulfillment – and the observer – inspired and uplifted. 

Fifth, strengths are supported by the dominant culture in the form of institutions, rituals, parables, maxims and children’s stories.

Sixth, role models and paragons in the culture compellingly illustrate a strength or virtue. 

Seventh, they are ubiquitous. Strengths are valued in almost every culture. They are not quite universal, as some exceptions to every rule can be found. And they are ubiquitous. They take place everywhere.

‘Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value’ Albert Einstein

Values Defined

Each individual has a set of beliefs and ideas about abstract concepts called values. They describe how much worth a person places on various ideas, objects, or beliefs. Societies have values that are shared between many of the participants in that culture. These values may be put into four categories:

·               Ethics (good, bad, moral, immoral, amoral, right, wrong, permissible, impermissible)

·               Aesthetics (beautiful, ugly, unbalanced, pleasing)

·               Group Norms (political, ideological, religious or social beliefs and values)

·               Inborn (inborn values such as reproduction and survival, a controversial issue)

For the purposes of our discussion, we are concerned only with the group known as ethics and to a lesser extent, group norms. There are five features that are common to most definition of values. Values are concepts or beliefs. They are about desirable behavior(s) and/or end states. Values transcend specific situations. Values guide selection or evaluation of behavior and events and they are ordered by relative importance.

On occasion, we encounter ethical problems which pit two of our most cherished values against one another. In such a situation, we cannot act in a way that is in keeping with both these values. We solve such problems by prioritizing our top values that are relevant to the situation. Each of us has a set of prized values. Many of us simply are not aware of them.  We must have an awareness of our values as well as the intention to act upon them for values to be useful to us.

Stephen Covey and colleagues call these prized values our personal principles. He cautions against self-centered values such as “self respect” or “a sense of accomplishment” because they can lead us to develop pragmatic, utilitarian relationships with other individuals.  Covey suggests that we adopt prized values that are more holistic and anchored in the fundamental realities of nature, spirit and healthy interpersonal relationships.  Prizing your family higher than your career is a good example of adopting holistic and healthy values. However, it must be noted that as far as this author knows, Covey’s work is not based on empirical research and cannot be considered as part of the consilience towards the proof of the inherent worth of values.

Why Values Are Essential

Let’s look at how living according to one’s values can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Imagine that you could do whatever it is that brings you the most joy in your life. Picture anything you like that is deeply fulfilling to you. What you have then is a picture of a person living in accordance to his or her most cherished values.

There is a close link between values and living a fulfilling life. Once your values are clarified, you will have a map that guides you through key decisions. Through this process we learn what is most important to the client and what is not. Part of my work is to help clients discover what is truly necessary in their lives. Clarifying values helps clients to take a stand, to take calculated risks, and to make choices based on what is personally fulfilling to them.

By its very nature, honoring our values is fulfilling, even when times get tough. You can suffer through discomfort if you know it will pass, while you rest comfortable in the knowledge that you are living in accordance with your values. Making decisions based on your top values will always lead to a more fulfilling decision. This leads to right behavior and a fulfilling life.  Some examples of values are creativity, helping others, independence, family, emotional management, power, peace of mind, lifelong learning, and spirituality. They cannot be touched, but they can be seen. You see them being acted out in how people behave.

Someone living perfectly in accordance with values will feel the pain of a disturbing situation, and perhaps some psychological disturbance, but will remain tranquil at the center. Equanimity is the ideal. Equanimity means evenness of mind, or in this case, evenness of emotion. When possible, excessive negative emotion is to be deflected or rerouted. No one lives perfectly in accordance with their values. The goal is to remain constantly aware of your values and to strive to behave in accordance with them.

Values remind us of our authentic self and our unique role in the universe. All of us benefit from a series of ethical guideposts which we can use to steer our actions towards the greater good

If you are interested in advanced training of the mind for your self or staff, call now (925) 944-3440. Or check the website at www.GuideToSelf.com

About the Author

Dr. John Schinnerer holds a Ph.D. in educational psychology from U.C. Berkeley. He helps clients discover their best possible selves via positive psychology. His offices are in Danville, California. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive, speaker and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches executives to happiness and success using the latest in positive psychology. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a daily prime time radio show, in the SF Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to anger management, to executive coaching. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com. His blog, Shrunken Mind, was recently recognized as #1 in positive psychology on the web by PostRank (http://drjohnblog.guidetoself.com).

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13. May 2010 by John Schinnerer.

This is an excerpt from a talk I gave last year at a Leadership Summit of 1500 executives and managers. It is critical to begin taking steps to incorporate positive psychology into the workplace to ensure the optimal functioning of your workforce. Parts of the positive psychology puzzle include resiliency, high ratio of positive to negative emotions, realistic optimism, positive communications, the mindful use of emotions so they work for you instead of against you and much more.

Think about it!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Book John Now at (925) 944-3440

Posted in Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, International Wellbeing Study, National speakers, Gratitude, Assertiveness, Hope, Corporate Culture, Employee engagement, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Alamo CA, Optimal Human Functioning, Executive coach, Brain plasticity, Altruism, Negotiation and emotion, Unique marketing research, Chief Marketing Officer, Innovative brand research, Emotional IQ, Business & psych, Dr. John Schinnerer, Customer Engagement, Happiness, Organizational psychology, Resiliency, The human brain, Men's emotions, Morals and values, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

12. May 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Cool news! I was just included in a continuing education series on positive psychology with Dr. Jonathan Haidt, Dr. John Drimmer, Dr. James Pawelski, Dr. Dacher Keltner, and Dr. Judy Saltzberg. I’m flattered and honored. This is a series of radio interviews done by Dr. David Van Nuys, professor emeritus from Sonoma State University. Here is the description…

GENERAL COURSE DESCRIPTION

Mental health professionals have traditionally devoted themselves to the treatment of unhappiness in all its many forms. We’ve been good at developing models of psychopathology but we also need to have a clear model of the healthy human psyche. In his 1998 APA presidential address, Martin P. Seligman, an eminent University of Pennsylvania psychology professor, announced that he was founding a new science of “positive psychology.” According to Seligman, psychology had too long focused on the negative side of human nature and it was time to rigorously study the positive. Of course, humanistic psychologists (e.g., Maslow, Rogers, Tillich, Frankel, Bugental, and others) had done pioneering work along these same lines at least 40 years earlier. However, Seligman was calling for a more rigorous, empirical approach than he felt had previously existed. He was able to jump start the field with a $100,000 prize from the John Templeton Foundation for the best research project in this new area by a young researcher. Positive Psychology. At this point, there have already been more than 64,000 research studies on Positive Psychology. This foundational work has important implications for psychotherapists of every stripe.

This course consists of eight interviews with Positive Psychology luminaries conducted by David Van Nuys, Ph.D. Each interview will add to your understanding of the field and its clinical implications. 5 of the 8 interviews are also accompanied with full transcripts of the interview. The first interview features Dr. James Pawelski, who heads up the first positive psychology graduate program in the country, housed at the University of Pennsylvania, under the guidance of Dr. Seligman. The second interview is with Dr. Judy Saltzberg, who is a graduate of that program and now an instructor in it and focuses on clinical applications. The third interview, with Dr. John Drimmer, explores how one psychologist shifted his work to become a practitioner of positive psychology. The fourth interview with psychologist, Dr. Sylvia Boorstein, focuses on mindfulness and compassion as key components of happiness. The fifth interview is with Dr. Jonathan Haidt, psychology professor, TED.com presenter, and a key figure in the Positive Psychology movement. The sixth interview, with Dr. Cathy Greenberg, hones in on positive psychology and happiness, particularly as they apply to women’s issues. The seventh interview is with Cal Berkeley professor, Dr. Dacher Keltner, and focuses on his research on happiness and health. Finally, Dr. John Schinnerer is one of a growing number of psychologists who prefer to practice under the rubric of “coaching,” and he describes how he made that transition.

Educational Objectives:

* This course will teach psychotherapists to Apply insights of positive psychology to their work.
* Critique the research findings/claims of positive psychology.
* Define relevant terms, e.g., positive psychology, happiness, resilience, mindfulness, and so on.
* Cite relevant research literature to justify applying positive psychology principles to their practice.
* Construct their own approach to implementing principles of positive psychology to their practice.

Course Syllabus:

* Discovering Positive Psychology
o History of Positive Psychology
o Philosophical underpinnings of Positive Psychology
o Developing the first Positive Psychology graduate program
* Clinical Applications of Positive Psychology
o Integrating CBT with Positive Psychology
o Case examples of Positive Psychology therapy
o Therapeutic exercise drawn from Positive Psychology
* From 60 Minutes Producer to Positive Psychologist
o The three pillars of positive psychology
o Commonalities between documentary film making and practice of positive psychology
o Taking clients beyond symptom relief to optimal fulfillment
* Buddhist Happiness
o Mindfulness meditation as a therapeutic intervention
o The long-term benefits of clients developing warm relationships
o Developing compassion as a component of mental health
* The Happiness Hypothesis
o Interplay of cognition and emotion in Positive Psychology
o Exploration of “Wisdom Traditions” hits and misses
o Why meditation is easier than medication
* What Happy Women Know
o The disconnect between worldly success and happiness
o Combating happiness trap of perfectionism
o Dealing with female revenge fantasies
* Happiness, Kindness and Health
o Emotional intelligence and happiness
o Role of vagus nervous system and oxytocin in trust
o Health and longevity correlates of happiness
o Evidence from Darwin supporting that we are wired for happiness
* Positive Psychology Coaching and Psychotherapy
o Importance of developing “inward looking” in clients
o Interplay of positive and negative emotions
o Mastering the negative emotions of the “lizard brain”

For more information on the series, check out the Zur Institute at http://www.zurinstitute.com/positivepsychologycourse.html.

If you are interested in contacting Dr. John Schinnerer for keynote speaking engagements, visit the website for contact info at http://www.guidetoself.com.

Keep on smiling!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

San Francisco Bay Area

National speaker

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12. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I received an email today from a highly qualified individual who works with adolescents. She asked how I changed my own temperament from pessimistic to optimistic.

Here is her email…

Hi John - Hope I am not a nuisance. I would like to follow up to the email I sent last night with some thoughts I had overnight. Since you don’t know me at all(!) and you may be uncomfortable responding, I thought I would share just to let you know I do have some credentials for doing what I do - I have a Masters in Counseling/Sport Psych, certifications in hypnotherapy/neuro-linguistic psych/life coach, and a Gallup University Strengths Performance certification. I have been a NCAA Tennis coach as well. I’ve been working with young adults and professionals on tour for fifteen years.

More importantly - I am wondering how you transformed your outlook from black to white…I read that it was a conscious decision, attitude is a choice, however many individuals (mainly kids) are not strong enough to do this movement from bleak to bright (of course so they say… however are very resilient so the corollary should apply! may be excuse too as it takes hard work). What did you do daily to see and feel the glass half full?

Thanks for your attention and consideration of responding. Think positive as you never know when something like this could lead to a speaking engagement across country!

Best

Jeanne

And here is my response…

Dear Jeanne:

No nuisance at all. A pleasure.

The primary ways that I have altered my own temperament overlaps with the exercises that I share with others …Forgiveness a la Fred Luskin, Gratitude a la Robert Emmons, Mindfulness a la Jon Kabat-Zinn, Curiosity a la Todd Kashdan, Resiliency via Bonnie Bernard at WestEd, self-compassion via Duke University,  identifying strengths, values, purpose and meaning (Chris Peterson, Martin Seligman, William Damon), and then a large amount of time spent on awareness of and tools to manage emotions – both mitigating ‘negative’ emotions and fostering ‘positive’ emotions. The biggest help, I believe, came from the notion of radical acceptance of emotions and thoughts that comes with the practice of mindfulness.

This combined approach has been immensely helpful to numerous clients, in particular adolescent males.  Most of the men I see come in with complaints of depression, anger, irritability, anxiety and/or lack of purpose. I’m continually amazed at the results that clients achieve after learning and applying these tools. 

To keep younger folks engaged in the process, I often insert rewarding breaks such as short clips of stand up comics (laughter open us up to new learning), BMX trick riding videos (facilitates awe), and so on. I also reveal a lot of my past to clients to a) normalize their current situation and b) make the dynamic more of a two-way relationship. I believe it is difficult and unnatural to ask an adolescent male to come into an office and spill their stories to a stranger.  To improve upon the traditional therapeutic model, I often tell young men that they don’t even need to speak in the first session if they so choose. The simple act of giving them the choice and the power over how much to divulge and how quickly empowers them and makes them feel comfortable.  And we know that  roughly ½ of positive emotions have a prerequisite of feeling safe and comfortable before one has a chance of experiencing them.

I think Positive Psychology is necessary but insufficient to get many to a happier, more meaningful place in the sense that negative emotions are ‘stronger’ than positive ones. So the best bang for the buck in terms of increasing life satisfaction comes from teaching others to turn down the volume on the major negative emotions (anger, fear, sadness). This idea was well laid out in a recent paper by Todd Kashdan.

However, it’s also useful and necessary to teach people to identify and foster positive emotions as we are oftentimes unaware of many of them and they pass us by quickly. We know the positive emotions are fragile and fleeting so we need to train ourselves to be mindful of opportunities for the cultivation of positive emotions.

And of course, there are the more common sense interventions as well – proper diet, adequate exercise, hanging out with supportive, nonjudgmental people and appropriate assertiveness (to nip festering irritation before it escalates to anger or rage).

I hope that is helpful.

Feel free to email back!

All the best,

John

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Author of the award-winning book Guide To Self:

The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion & Thought

Guide To Self, Inc.

913 San Ramon Valley Blvd. #280

Danville CA 94526

(925) 575-0258

GuideToSelf.com - Web site

DrJohnBlog.GuideToSelf.com - Award-winning Blog

@johnschin - Twitter

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9. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

The Well-Being Explosion and What’s Next

Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman states that increasing interest in life satisfaction and well-being is reaching critical mass throughout the world now that economists are involved with measuring Gross Domestic Happiness (GDH) and other key metrics. In a clip from Gallup’s series, “Next Steps: Transforming Americans’ Health and Well-Being,” Kahneman looks at why the study of emotions is likely to be the future of well-being research.

 http://www.gallup.com/video/123914/Well-Being-Explosion-Whats-Next.aspx

It’s a fantastic, uplifting feeling to know that the rest of the world might be beginning to realize the importance of the work on which I’ve been spending the past 15 years of my life. Ever since 1995, I’ve been studying, practicing and teaching the best scientifically-proven methods to alleviate destructive emotions (e.g., fear, anger, sadness) and cultivate more constructive emotions (e.g., awe, pride, love, contentment, curiosity, and more). I’ve written award winning book (Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought), spoken to tens of thousands of people and done a daily prime time radio show. It is so rewarding to think that some folks might be understanding the power, importance and ubiquity of emotions.

I’ll check in with you soon!

All the best,

John

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Guide To Self, Inc.

http://www.guidetoself.com 

Posted in Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, International Wellbeing Study, Emotion & learning, National speakers, Science of love, Emotion and technology, Corporate Culture, San Ramon CA, Alamo CA, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Self-compassion, Emotion & Athletics, Executive coach, Optimal Human Functioning, Curiosity, Gratitude, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Happiness, Measuring emotions, Managing stress, Forgiveness, Business & psych, Morals and values, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Men's emotions, The human brain, Organizational psychology, Managing Sadness, Managing Anxiety, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »