17. September 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Richard Boyatzis and his colleagues (Boyatzis, R.E., Murphy, A.J., Wheeler, J.V. Philosophy as a missing link between values and behavior. January, 2000) have proposed that each of us uses an underlying philosophy to determine how we behave in relation to our values. Boyatzis suggest three major philosophical systems that are likely to influence an individual’s actions, thoughts, values and feelings in various ways.

These three philosophies are pragmatic, intellectual and humanistic.

A person with a pragmatic outlook looks at the output or consequence of a decision as the key to the perceived value. The desire is to maximize the output relative to the input. Pragmatists focus on the individual and assume that the individual chooses actions based on their own self-interest in order to maximize their benefits. This is akin to rationalizing away any values above and beyond those that work in the favor of self-interest. For example, a pragmatic person might list “family” as a top value, yet spends eighty hours a week away from his family working at his job. He spends as little time as possible at home. He says his behavior is in accordance with his values since he is earning money and providing for his family’s needs. In truth, his behavior is a function of his workaholism. He is addicted to working because he is afraid of intimacy and therefore is uncomfortable at home.

A person with an intellectual philosophy uses his intellect to make most decisions. The intellectual gauges the value of an activity, person or effort by its consistency with a set of rational ideals such as the Ten Commandments or a professional code of ethics.  The intellectual uses logic as the main means to make judgments of value and meaning. An example is the intellectual person who lists “family” as a top value, and spends 55 hours a week at work and evenings and weekends with his family. He is present to help with homework and bedtime. The intellectual interacts with his family rationally and gets irritated when his children are not rational in their response to him. While he spends more time with his family, he is not available emotionally for his children and wife. His behavior is in keeping with his stated value of “family” but the quality of time spent with family members is low due to low emotional and social awareness.

An individual with a humanitarian philosophy views personal relationships as the primary yardstick for judging meaning and value in life. Emotions and actions within the context of a relationship are seen as most important. In particular, family and close friends are the most important of all relationships. People with a humanitarian outlook prize values that emphasize the worth of the individual and interpersonal relationships as the greatest “good.” The worth of an activity or effort is judged in terms of its effect on an individual’s close relationships. For example, the humanitarian lists “family” as his top value and establishes a balance between work and home. He also has a balance between his intellect and his emotions. Thus, when he is home with his family, he is available to them emotionally as well as intellectually.

On the face of it, it seems that a high degree of emotional intelligence is required for an individual to operate based on the humanitarian philosophy. If that is true, then these three philosophies might be related to the degree of IQ and EQ that an individual possesses. For instance, a person with adequate IQ and little EQ is likely to be employing the pragmatic view. And a person with adequate IQ and moderate EQ is probably using the intellectual philosophy. Finally, a person with adequate IQ and a high EQ is likely to use the humanitarian outlook.

Boyatzis states that no one philosophy is “better” than another. Hi belief is that the philosophies merely drive the individual’s behaviors, thoughts and emotions in different ways.

What If One Philosophy Is Better Than Another?

While Boyatzis has made great progress in clarifying part of the mystery connecting values and behaviors, I believe that these philosophies are hierarchical and developmental in nature. This means that one philosophy is better than another.

My model states that all of us start out as children with a pragmatic or self-centered philosophy. Assuming a normal developmental path, we eventually learn the intellectual philosophy and adopt it as the primary means by which to evaluate our actions, thoughts and feelings. For those of us who continue to learn, grow and develop beyond our intellect, into the realm of emotional intelligence, we adopt the humanitarian outlook as our method of judging the worth of our behavior, thoughts and emotions. This implies that certain values and/or strengths will be “available” to different individuals at different times in their lives. And some values may never be available to individuals that don’t progress past the pragmatic philosophy, such as allowing one’s self to be loved and wisdom (or perspective-taking).

In other words, the pragmatist may never be able to truly act in accordance with a stated value such as world peace because it is not in his best interest to do so. He can state world peace as a value yet it would not make any sense to work towards it as it does not maximize output and minimize input. Just the opposite would be true; he would have to put in a great deal of time and energy to make a tiny difference.
Every one of us has a values system.  A values system is the set of values that we hold important and the way in which they are prioritized. 

Personal Values As Ends and As Means

Personal values come in two types — ends and means. 

End values are the desired outcomes that a person desperately wants to achieve such as “freedom”, or “a purposeful life.”  Each individual has a different set of end values in his or her values system. 

Means values are beliefs about a person’s desired traits or ways of being such as “loving”, “forgiving”, or “kind.”  We possess means values because we believe that each one of the means values helps us to achieve our ends values.  For instance, “loving” may be a means value that helps one move towards the ends value of “a purposeful life.”

Take a moment to clarify your own top values. Take a moment to figure out which of the three philosophies is your primary one. Figure out where you want to go from here and how you want to get there. Figure out your values and the personal philosophy that underlies them…on your way to success.

To life, love and laughter,

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Founder of Guide To Self, Inc.

Visit the site above for a complimentary copy of my award-winning book on the latest ways to manage your own thoughts and emotions to ensure greater character, integrity and success! Be character driven, not emotion driven!

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17. September 2010 by John Schinnerer.

A happy, successful and satisfying life involves behaving according to a your own set of ethics, standards, or values.  Values are the core beliefs upon which you operate your life. You may be aware of your core beliefs. You may not. In my experience, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of people do not have any idea what their top values are.

Remember - You Are a Worthy Individual

To get the most from your life, you must believe at your core that you are a worthy individual – worthy of love, worthy of respect, worthy of making mistakes to learn from, worthy of friendship, worthy of quality friends, worthy of appropriate boundaries, worthy of taking time to refill and renew yourself, worthy of a flourishing and fulfilling life.

Our values are the stars by which we navigate through life. Henry David Thoreau wrote, ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.’

It Is Easy to Lose Track of Values In A Busy World

Ours is much too busy and noisy a world. Our lives take on a frenetic pace and people lose track of the values that give life meaning and purpose.

Everyone says they are for values – individuals, schools and corporations. All are quick to claim lofty ideals. The problem is their actions are not in keeping with their words, particularly at times of high emotion. Thus, we have schools that talk about treating children with compassion while verbally flagellating them in the classrooms.  We have parents that profess to love their children yet rage at them behind closed doors. We have businesses that say they value their customers yet treat them as if they were unintelligent nuisances. 

Ignore Values at Your Peril

People unaware of their values are more likely to be uncaring, conforming, inconsistent, and self-conflicted.

The less we know of our values, the less success and happiness we enjoy.

Clarify Your Values, Enjoy Success

The more we understand our values, the better able we are to make right choices which lead to right action even in the heat of strong emotions. This leads to integrity, happiness and prosperity.

Clarity of values leads to decisive acts of courage which are becoming exceedingly rare in this world. Don’t be driven by the whims of your emotions. Be character driven.   Be value driven.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Founder Guide to Self, Inc.

For a free copy of John’s award-winning book, Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought, visit GuideToSelf.com, enter your email and name and be rewarded with instant access to your own PDF version of the book!

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12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

The antidote for fear, anxiety and nervousness is the cultivation of courage. There are a variety of ways to do this. The most useful for my clients has been to write out your own Courage Story.

Bravery and valor are arguably among the most important of the 24 character strengths. And they fall within the virtue cluster of courage. I’ve always found a truckload of truth in this quotation:

“The secret of life is this: When you hear the sound of the cannons, walk toward them.”

So let me ask you to think back over your life:

“What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?”

Sample answers I’ve heard: Moving across country to a new city without a job…. Going back to school as a single parent with an infant….Staying with my dearest friend as she died of cancer…..Learning to dance at 60…Applying to a graduate program at UC Berkeley….

Mine was facing down my own social anxiety to do a daily primetime radio show.
What’s yours?

Writing Your Courage Story.

Write a succinct one page story about the most courageous thing you’ve ever done. The time period could range from minutes to days or months to years. Be sure to give your story a clear, crisp ending.

Elements to include might be:

• The situation,
• What you feared,
• Why it required your courage,
• What your experience felt and looked like (details are good, sensory details are better!)
• How you acted despite the fear,
• And be sure to give your story a solid, richly detailted ending.

Cheer,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

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8. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read this straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies..
Awards tarnish..
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz.. See how you do on this one: 
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..

the most money…

or the most awards.

They simply are the ones who care the most

If you like, share this with those people who have either made a difference in your life, or whom you keep close in your heart. Be extra kind to strangers. You don’t know how the world has treated them and everyone has their own story.

”Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!”

Courtesy of David Banner (not Bruce Banner a.k.a. The Incredible Hulk!)

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1. July 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I’m kicking off the launch of my new video blog at drjohnsblog.wordpress.com. And to make the announcement fun for all, I thought I’d offer a FREE copy of my book Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought.

It’s all about how to quiet the voices in your head, turn down the volume on negative emotions and turn up the volume on positive emotions, click here for instant access!

So if you want a free PDF version of some of the latest proven tools to manage your mind, the latest methods to increase your happiness via positive psychology, the greatest tips to manage your anger, check it out! Click here for a fantastic freebie!

Enjoy!

John

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