Excuse me, I said kindly, there is a mistake in this report. My coworker roared, And I assume youre perfect?! My reports dont have mistakes in them. Why dont you take that report and shove it up your a..! She continued with her tirade while I did a quick scan for any sharp objects nearby that she might use on me. After 3 long minutes, she snatched the pages from my hand and stormed off.
While this took place nearly 20 years ago, I remember it vividly as it was an early lesson that the anger of coworkers is not always directed at the right person. More often, the anger of coworkers is misdirected at people who had no involvement in causing the anger in the first place.
So how do you handle it when someone elses anger begins to escalate in the workplace?
The ability to de-escalate the anger of others is a critical ability for long-term success. As a shrink, father of 4 and award-winning author, I have seen anger take on a life of its own, destroying relationships and derailing careers. While we do our best to act the part of rational, reasonable business people, the truth is that we are also emotional beings…
For the entire article AND my free award-winning eBook, head now to http://www.GuideToSelf.com. You can have instant access to 216 pages of proven tools for advanced management of the mind. This includes the latest tools to turn UP positive emotions (passion, love, contentment, relaxation, etc.) and tools to turn DOWN negative emotions (anger, anxiety, depression).
The antidote for fear, anxiety and nervousness is the cultivation of courage. There are a variety of ways to do this. The most useful for my clients has been to write out your own Courage Story.
Bravery and valor are arguably among the most important of the 24 character strengths. And they fall within the virtue cluster of courage. Ive always found a truckload of truth in this quotation:
The secret of life is this: When you hear the sound of the cannons, walk toward them.
So let me ask you to think back over your life:
Whats the most courageous thing youve ever done?
Sample answers Ive heard: Moving across country to a new city without a job . Going back to school as a single parent with an infant .Staying with my dearest friend as she died of cancer ..Learning to dance at 60 Applying to a graduate program at UC Berkeley .
Mine was facing down my own social anxiety to do a daily primetime radio show.
Writing Your Courage Story.
Write a succinct one page story about the most courageous thing youve ever done. The time period could range from minutes to days or months to years. Be sure to give your story a clear, crisp ending.
Elements to include might be:
What you feared,
Why it required your courage,
What your experience felt and looked like (details are good, sensory details are better!)
How you acted despite the fear,
And be sure to give your story a solid, richly detailted ending.
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.
You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read this straight through, and you’ll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series Winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies..
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here’s another quiz.. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..
the most money…
or the most awards.
They simply are the ones who care the most
If you like, share this with those people who have either made a difference in your life, or whom you keep close in your heart. Be extra kind to strangers. You don’t know how the world has treated them and everyone has their own story.
”Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!”
Courtesy of David Banner (not Bruce Banner a.k.a. The Incredible Hulk!)
Here is a new video I made yesterday to help folks move from angry to content in less than 3 minutes. Please take a look and let me know your thoughts and feelings. Leave a comment down below if you enjoy it! I’ll make more.
Hi! My name is John Schinnerer, Ph.D. I have spent the past 20 years seeking the best, proven tools to turn UP the volume on happiness along with ways to turn DOWN the volume on negative emotions. All this leads to greater happiness and much more success.Studies have shown that success follows happiness, NOT the other way around. People LIKE to be around folks who are happy. They flock to them. Then, happy people are provided with more opportunities – in business, in relationships, and in wealth.
It’s a simple fact – most people want to hang out with happier, upbeat people.
The best part is that happiness is a learnable skill! I’ve done it myself (despite my depression and social anxiety). I’ve taught it to thousands of people.
If you would like to be happier, I’m offering my award-winning book on happiness “Guide to Self” for FREE in pdf format. Just visit my site at Guidetoself.com. In exchange for your name and email, I will grant you instant access to the eBook! No catch. No obligation.Take the plunge! You’ll be happy you did!
John Schinnerer, Ph.D. is in private practice teaching men anger management & the latest ways to deal with destructive negative emotions. He also helps men discover happier, more meaningful lives. His Ph.D. is from U.C. Berkeley. John is Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches men to happiness and success. He wrote the award-winning, Guide To Self: The Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought and his blog, Shrunken Mind, was named top 3 in positive psychology (http://drjohnblog.guidetoself.com).Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/@johnschin
Check out my new video blog on Real Men, Real Happiness at http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com!
YouTube Channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/jschinnerer