12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

‘Excuse me’, I said kindly, ‘there is a mistake in this report.’ My coworker roared, ‘And I assume you’re perfect?! My reports don’t have mistakes in them. Why don’t you take that report and shove it up your a..!’ She continued with her tirade while I did a quick scan for any sharp objects nearby that she might use on me. After 3 long minutes, she snatched the pages from my hand and stormed off.

While this took place nearly 20 years ago, I remember it vividly as it was an early lesson that the anger of coworkers is not always directed at the right person. More often, the anger of coworkers is misdirected at people who had no involvement in causing the anger in the first place.

So how do you handle it when someone else’s anger begins to escalate in the workplace?

The ability to de-escalate the anger of others is a critical ability for long-term success. As a shrink, father of 4 and award-winning author, I have seen anger take on a life of its own, destroying relationships and derailing careers. While we do our best to act the part of rational, reasonable business people, the truth is that we are also emotional beings…

For the entire article AND my free award-winning eBook, head now to http://www.GuideToSelf.com. You can have instant access to 216 pages of proven tools for advanced management of the mind. This includes the latest tools to turn UP positive emotions (passion, love, contentment, relaxation, etc.) and tools to turn DOWN negative emotions (anger, anxiety, depression).

To love, laughter and life,

John Schinnerer Ph.D.
Founder Guide To Self
Award-winning author (Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought)
Award-winning blogger (Shrunken Mind at http://drjohnblog.guidetoself.com)
http://www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in Gender differences, De-escalating anger, San Francisco Bay Area, Executive coach, San Ramon CA, Violence and abuse, Self-help book, keys to happiness, Emotional terrorists, Free self-help book, Workplace bullies, Managing anger, Anger management therapy, Employee engagement, Emotion & productivity, Staying calm, Victims of bullying, Emotional IQ, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Emotional mind, Assertiveness, Danville CA, Organizational psychology, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Bullies | Print | No Comments »

2. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

This is a comment I posted after a lovely young woman asked about anger management therapy for her husband. She was close to her wit’s end; sick of his constant annoyance, criticisms and irritability. She was asking if anyone knew of any possible way to get her husband to learn new ways of relating or if her only option was divorce.

Dear Kristin:

I’ve been working on designing free online anger management classes to teach men the latest scientifically proven tools for anger management therapy. My background is as a Ph.D. in ed psychology from U.C. Berkeley. I wrote an award-winning book in 2007 on proven tools to turn down the volume on negative emotions, such as anger and irritability, and techniques to turn up the volume on positive emotions, like love, happiness and curiosity.

From my years of research on the mind, I’ve found that merely targeting the anger is necessary but insufficient. As the brain is always looking to maintain a balance or homeostasis, we must teach these two paths simultaneously (turn up the positive and turn down the negative feelings).

I’ve had such success with this process and my clients that I’ve been asked to share the message with a wider audience. Typically, my clients ask “Shouldn’t everyone learn these tools?” To which my answer is “absolutely.” So I’m offering these tools for free at http://www.guidetoself.com. There you can receive a free copy of the eBook, free video lessons and free articles.

The entire process sidesteps the whole issue of shame, embarrassment and fear that men often feel when they seek outside “help”. Using these videos, men can learn useful, proven, concrete tools in the privacy of their own home. This makes it possible to help men who might not otherwise find a way to learn these invaluable tools. 

I hope and pray this is of use to you and your husband!

Best,
John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Founder Guide to Self
http://www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in Executive coach, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Violence and abuse, Emotion & productivity, National speakers, Danville CA, Gender differences, De-escalating anger, Men and Women, Relationship problems, Managing anger, Anger management therapy, Self-help book, Men's feelings, Real Men Real Emotion, Curiosity, Assertiveness, Victims of bullying, Happiness, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Tips to help anxiety, Staying calm, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Depression, Parenting, The human brain, Relationships, Resiliency, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

22. July 2010 by John Schinnerer.

July 21, 2010
(PhysOrg.com) — Researchers at the University of Hertfordshire, UK, have conducted research providing definitive evidence that women can multitask more effectively than men.
Professor Keith Laws at the University’s School of Psychology looked at multitasking in 50 male and 50 female undergraduates and found that although the sexes performed equally when they multitasked on simple maths and map reading tasks, women far excelled men when it came to planning how to search for a lost key, with 70 per cent of women performing better than their average male counterparts.

“The search for the lost key task, which involved giving the men and women a blank sheet of paper representing a field and asking them to draw how they would search for the key, revealed that women planned more strategically than men,” said Professor Laws. “I was surprised by this result given the arguments that men have better spatial skills than women.”

Professor Laws was also surprised that despite the universal notion that women are better than men at multitasking, their review of the literature unearthed no previous scientific evidence to support this claim.

The participants in Professor Laws study, who were undergraduates at the University, had eight minutes to do several tasks at the same time, such as simple maths problems, map reading, answering a telephone caller asking general knowledge questions and showing the strategy they would use to search for an imaginary lost key in a field.

Provided by University of Hertfordshire (web)

Have a great evening!

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Online anger management therapy for men

at Real Men, Real Happiness

Posted in Real Men Real Emotion, Anger management therapy, Men and Women, Men's feelings, Gender differences, Danville CA, Executive coach, Optimal Human Functioning, Dr. John Schinnerer | Print | No Comments »

24. June 2010 by John Schinnerer.

From ScienceDaily…

‘ScienceDaily (June 22, 2010) — A new study published in the journal Addiction reveals that drunkenness increases the risk for violent behaviour, but only for individuals with a strong inclination to suppress anger.

The two authors, Thor Norström and Hilde Pape, applied an approach that reduces the risk of drawing erroneous conclusions about cause and effect. They conclude that their study adds to the body of evidence suggesting that drinking may in fact inflict physical aggression.

The authors elaborate this conclusion: “Only a tiny fraction of all drinking events involve violence and whether intoxicated aggression is likely to occur seems to depend on the drinkers’ propensity to withhold angry feelings when sober.”

The study is based on self-reported data from a general population survey of young people in Norway. Nearly 3000 individuals were assessed twice, first at 16-17 years of age and again at ages 21-22. The participants were divided into 3 equally large groups with respect to anger suppression.

Among individuals who reported a high inclination to suppress feelings of anger, a 10% increase in drinking to the point of intoxication was associated with a 5% increase in violence. Researchers observed no such association among those who did not habitually suppress their angry feelings.Journal Reference:

1.      Norström T. and Pape H. Alcohol, suppressed anger and violence. Addiction, 105 DOI: 10.1111/j.1360-0443.2010.02997.x‘

This is a fascinating finding to me. Dating back to my early undergraduate years, I have always purposefully stayed away from people who get angry and violent when drunk. It seemed a clear red flag to me. However, many of my acquaintances and fraternity brothers would kick in a window, stick their head into an open floor fan, or get into fights when inebriated. I’m not a big fan of seeing geysers of blood when I’m sober, let alone after I had had a few beers.

So I resolved early on that I would hang out with people other than angry violent drunks. Interestingly, some of my friends did not make the same choice. These guys thought it was fine to hang out with violent drunks, and rationalized the behaviors away. ‘Oh that’s just Bob. That’s how he is. He just needs to blow off some steam.’ Really?! Okay, I’ll be elsewhere while he’s blowing his lid.

In any case, men, we need to find better ways to deal with anger than simply squashing it down and pretending it doesn’t exist. It will come out eventually. And inevitably, the anger comes out at the wrong person, with the wrong intensity, at the wrong time and in the worst possible place.

Start learning the latest tools to manage anger. It will save your life (and maybe someone else’s!).

Have a great week!

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Award-winning author and founder of Guide to Self

New video blog just started on happiness and men: http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com. Check it out!

Posted in Emotion & productivity, Executive coach, Danville CA, Assertiveness, Relationships, Resiliency, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Men's feelings, Real Men Real Emotion, Executive leadership, De-escalating anger, Gender differences, Men's emotions, Alexithymia, Emotional IQ, Staying calm, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Business & psych, Happiness, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Emotional management, Anger Management, Emotional mind, Parenting, Depression, Bullies | Print | No Comments »

23. June 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I’m creating a new training program on the top proven tools for men to

 a) turn down the volume on negative emotions (for example irritability, anxiety, stress, sadness)

 b) turn up the volume on positive emotions (for example happiness, relaxation, calm, love, pride, and passion)

And I’d like to ask a favor:

Can you watch this new training video and tell me what you think of these “Top 3 Ways to Instantly Increase Happiness for Men”:

http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/teaching-real-men-real-emotion-to-achieve-real-potential/

Before the world see this, you get first look. It’s about my story and 5 advanced strategies I used as a father of four, businessman and Ph.D. in psychology to manage my own anger, anxiety and stress.

Just post a comment on the blog and let me know what you think. You’ll love the advanced strategies (I’ve never shared them on video before).

Anyone can learn these strategies to increase their happiness, satisfaction with life, and improve the quality of their relationships. That’s my belief and I’ve proven it myself and with many, many clients.

I’d like to teach you to do the same.
So just go to this site and ask any questions on my blog. I’ll personally reply to as many questions as I can and I’ll create some more training videos for answering some of the common questions.

http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/teaching-real-men-real-emotion-to-achieve-real-potential/

Thank you for your help. I truly appreciate it.

In friendship,

John
Founder, Guide To Self
Author, Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought

P.S. You can also get access to an inspiring article called “Best Ways to Rediscover Your Purpose and Happiness.”

http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/teaching-real-men-real-emotion-to-achieve-real-potential/

Posted in Emotion & productivity, Executive coach, Danville CA, Hope, Men's emotions, Resiliency, Optimal Human Functioning, Emotion & Athletics, Men's feelings, Real Men Real Emotion, Executive leadership, De-escalating anger, Well-being, Gender differences, Managing Sadness, Anger Management, Guide to Self, Emotional IQ, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Positive Psychology, Business & psych, Anxiety, Tips to help anxiety, Emotional management, Managing Anxiety, Depression, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Happiness, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »