How to Transform Your Outlook from Pessimistic to Realistically Optimistic - Positive Psychology

12. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I received an email today from a highly qualified individual who works with adolescents. She asked how I changed my own temperament from pessimistic to optimistic.

 

Here is her email…

 

Hi John - Hope I am not a nuisance. I would like to follow up to the email I sent last night with some thoughts I had overnight. Since you don’t know me at all(!) and you may be uncomfortable responding, I thought I would share just to let you know I do have some credentials for doing what I do - I have a Masters in Counseling/Sport Psych, certifications in hypnotherapy/neuro-linguistic psych/life coach, and a Gallup University Strengths Performance certification. I have been a NCAA Tennis coach as well. I’ve been working with young adults and professionals on tour for fifteen years.

 

More importantly - I am wondering how you transformed your outlook from black to white…I read that it was a conscious decision, attitude is a choice, however many individuals (mainly kids) are not strong enough to do this movement from bleak to bright (of course so they say… however are very resilient so the corollary should apply! may be excuse too as it takes hard work). What did you do daily to see and feel the glass half full?

 

Thanks for your attention and consideration of responding. Think positive as you never know when something like this could lead to a speaking engagement across country!

 

Best

 

Jeanne

 

And here is my response…

 

Dear Jeanne:

 

No nuisance at all. A pleasure.

 

The primary ways that I have altered my own temperament overlaps with the exercises that I share with others …Forgiveness a la Fred Luskin, Gratitude a la Robert Emmons, Mindfulness a la Jon Kabat-Zinn, Curiosity a la Todd Kashdan, Resiliency via Bonnie Bernard at WestEd, self-compassion via Duke University,  identifying strengths, values, purpose and meaning (Chris Peterson, Martin Seligman, William Damon), and then a large amount of time spent on awareness of and tools to manage emotions – both mitigating ‘negative’ emotions and fostering ‘positive’ emotions. The biggest help, I believe, came from the notion of radical acceptance of emotions and thoughts that comes with the practice of mindfulness.

 

This combined approach has been immensely helpful to numerous clients, in particular adolescent males.  Most of the men I see come in with complaints of depression, anger, irritability, anxiety and/or lack of purpose. I’m continually amazed at the results that clients achieve after learning and applying these tools. 

 

To keep younger folks engaged in the process, I often insert rewarding breaks such as short clips of stand up comics (laughter open us up to new learning), BMX trick riding videos (facilitates awe), and so on. I also reveal a lot of my past to clients to a) normalize their current situation and b) make the dynamic more of a two-way relationship. I believe it is difficult and unnatural to ask an adolescent male to come into an office and spill their stories to a stranger.  To improve upon the traditional therapeutic model, I often tell young men that they don’t even need to speak in the first session if they so choose. The simple act of giving them the choice and the power over how much to divulge and how quickly empowers them and makes them feel comfortable.  And we know that  roughly ½ of positive emotions have a prerequisite of feeling safe and comfortable before one has a chance of experiencing them.

 

I think Positive Psychology is necessary but insufficient to get many to a happier, more meaningful place in the sense that negative emotions are ‘stronger’ than positive ones. So the best bang for the buck in terms of increasing life satisfaction comes from teaching others to turn down the volume on the major negative emotions (anger, fear, sadness). This idea was well laid out in a recent paper by Todd Kashdan.

 

However, it’s also useful and necessary to teach people to identify and foster positive emotions as we are oftentimes unaware of many of them and they pass us by quickly. We know the positive emotions are fragile and fleeting so we need to train ourselves to be mindful of opportunities for the cultivation of positive emotions.

 

And of course, there are the more common sense interventions as well – proper diet, adequate exercise, hanging out with supportive, nonjudgmental people and appropriate assertiveness (to nip festering irritation before it escalates to anger or rage).

 

I hope that is helpful.

 

Feel free to email back!

 

All the best,

 

John

 

 

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Author of the award-winning book Guide To Self:

The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion & Thought

Guide To Self, Inc.

913 San Ramon Valley Blvd. #280

Danville CA 94526

(925) 575-0258

GuideToSelf.com - Web site

DrJohnBlog.GuideToSelf.com - Award-winning Blog

@johnschin - Twitter

 

 

 

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What’s Coming Next With Well-Being Per Daniel Kahneman

9. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

The Well-Being Explosion and What’s Next

Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman states that increasing interest in life satisfaction and well-being is reaching critical mass throughout the world now that economists are involved with measuring Gross Domestic Happiness (GDH) and other key metrics. In a clip from Gallup’s series, “Next Steps: Transforming Americans’ Health and Well-Being,” Kahneman looks at why the study of emotions is likely to be the future of well-being research.

 

 http://www.gallup.com/video/123914/Well-Being-Explosion-Whats-Next.aspx

 

It’s a fantastic, uplifting feeling to know that the rest of the world might be beginning to realize the importance of the work on which I’ve been spending the past 15 years of my life. Ever since 1995, I’ve been studying, practicing and teaching the best scientifically-proven methods to alleviate destructive emotions (e.g., fear, anger, sadness) and cultivate more constructive emotions (e.g., awe, pride, love, contentment, curiosity, and more). I’ve written award winning book (Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought), spoken to tens of thousands of people and done a daily prime time radio show. It is so rewarding to think that some folks might be understanding the power, importance and ubiquity of emotions.

 

I’ll check in with you soon!

 

All the best,

John

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Positive Psychology Coach

Guide To Self, Inc.

http://www.guidetoself.com 

Posted in Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, International Wellbeing Study, Emotion & learning, National speakers, Science of love, Emotion and technology, Corporate Culture, San Ramon CA, Alamo CA, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Self-compassion, Emotion & Athletics, Executive coach, Optimal Human Functioning, Curiosity, Gratitude, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Happiness, Measuring emotions, Managing stress, Forgiveness, Business & psych, Morals and values, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Men's emotions, The human brain, Organizational psychology, Managing Sadness, Managing Anxiety, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Number of Positive Psychology Studies Rising Rapidly

10. February 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Posted in Science of love, Hope, National speakers, Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, Emotional mind, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Measuring emotions, Forgiveness, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Happiness, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Anger Management 101: New Study Shows How Forgiveness and Prayer Can Reduce Rage

2. February 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Anger Management: How Prayer And Forgiveness Can Reduce Your Rage

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

www.GuideToSelf.com

 

There was some wild stuff happening on the court where I live recently.  Last Thursday, one of my neighbors accidentally backed her SUV up,

…out of her driveway

…across the street

… into our neighbor’s house

…going 60 mph.

She went through a row of 2-foot tall boulders in the garden, the concrete front step, and several support beams. Her car was completely in the neighbor’s house for a second.  

Panicked, the driver threw the car into drive and

sped out of the house

across the street

into her own garage door,

into the car parked in her garage,

and buckled the side wall.  

Shortly after the sheriff, fire and ambulance arrived; there was a Channel 4 KRON news truck. A Channel 7 news helicopter circled the court taking video footage from the air. Fortunately, no one was badly injured. 

As an interesting aside, it’s speculated that one lady would have died in the accident if it weren’t for a phone call from her church asking her to come down to volunteer for a couple hours. Had she not headed down to the church, she would have been right in the path of the oncoming car, paying bills, where she was shortly before the car exploded into her house.

The house was deemed uninhabitable and repairs are now underway. Yet, the destruction left behind by the accident was quickly followed by dark emotions – embarrassment, guilt, anger, shame, sadness, and dread.  The driver of the car stated yesterday ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever smile again.’  Meanwhile, her neighbor who lost many of her possessions said ‘A house is a thing. It can be replaced.’

All of us have made mistakes at some point in our lives. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has hurt, disappointed or betrayed the trust of someone we love.  That’s the world we live in. That’s what makes us human. We are not perfect. Life is messy and at times unfair. In my experience, this unfairness can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, sadness and anxiety.

One of the best methods I know to turn down the volume on such discomforting emotions is the daily practice of forgiveness. Most of my education on forgiveness has come courtesy of Fred Luskin, the former head of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, and author of Forgive For Good.

This morning I came across a new study from Psychological Science entitled ‘Motivating Change in Relationships: Can Prayer Increase Forgiveness?’ which looked at how prayer impacts our willingness to forgive. Since roughly 90% of Americans report praying at times, Florida State University psychologist Nathaniel Lambert wondered how prayer might impact forgiveness.

Lambert and his colleagues found that simply by praying a single prayer for one’s significant other led to decreased negative feelings after having been wronged. Forgiveness was defined as a decrease in the negative feelings that came up after one has been trespassed against. By the way, forgiveness does not imply that one approves of, or condones, the transgression. It is, simply put, the best way to dump out old, stale anger.

Participants who prayed were found to have fewer thoughts of revenge and less destructive emotions such as anger and resentment. These participants were more likely to forgive (yet not necessarily to forget) and move forward with their lives, unburdened by unproductive anger.

An old friend of mine used to say, for those who are unwilling to forgive prior offenses, ‘pray to be willing to be willing to forgive.’ Many times, this focus on being willing to be willing to forgive gives individuals the ability to forgive acts that were once thought to be unforgiveable.

Given the surprisingly powerful results of a single prayer, the next study Lambert did looked at what prayer might do if continued over a period of time.

In the next study, Lambert asked participants to pray for the well-being of a near and dear friend every day for a month.  On the other side, the control group was asked to merely reflect on the friendship, thinking positive thoughts but not praying specifically. Lambert looked at an additional construct in this study – the degree of selfless concern for other people in general. They found that daily prayer increased concern for others which strengthened the ability to forgive.

When we are getting along with friends and loved ones, the frequency and duration of our positive emotions increases. This bump in positive emotion, such as gratitude, pride, interest and love, makes it easier to think of others as well as ourselves. Positive emotions cause us to come together, to be more social, more open, and more giving.

When things get rocky in a relationship, as they are wont to do, negative emotions enter with greater frequency and intensity. This switches our internal focus to temporary goals that separate and alienate us from others. Temporary goals, such as revenge and meting out punishment, shift our attention from the group to the self.   This attentional shift to the self is difficult to shake as long as the negative emotions are there to fuel it. Prayer seems to shift focus from one’s self back to the group, which allows compassion to grow and resentments to die off.

As far as my neighbors go, a large dose of prayer, forgiveness and self-compassion will help alleviate the feelings of anger and loss. In many situations, forgiveness must take place on several levels to be effective – forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others, allowing others to forgive you, forgiveness of God for His part in allowing unjust situations, and allowing God to forgive you. In this way the rebuilding of relationships can be accelerated to match the speed of the reconstruction of the homes.

For more information on forgiveness, please check out the book, Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought or the article, Forgiveness: The Key to Releasing the Pain of Past Mistakes and Betrayals.

 

Author Bio:

John Schinnerer, Ph.D. is in private practice helping individuals learn happiness by mitigating destructive emotions and fostering constructive emotions. Using positive psychology, he helps clients achieve happy, thriving, meaningful lives. His practice is located in the Danville San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in educational psychology. John Schinnerer has been an executive and coach for over 12 years. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show on positive psychology, in the San Francisco Bay Area.   John Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to music psychology, to sports psychology. He wrote the award-winning, ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,’ which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  He is currently collaborating with the University of New Zealand in a longitudinal positive psychology study called The International Wellbeing Study (www.wellbeingstudy.com). < -->

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A Great Quote on Self-Compassion

26. January 2010 by John Schinnerer.

‘I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.’

– Theodore Isaac Rubin

By way of  my old friend Dino Giolitti. Thanks, Dino!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Posted in Men's emotions, Resiliency, Optimal Human Functioning, Self-compassion, Emotional mind, Parenting, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Guide to Self, Forgiveness | Print | No Comments »

Positive Psychology – The Science of Optimal Human Functioning with Dr. John Schinnerer - One hour teleclass 12/8/09

9. December 2009 by John Schinnerer.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Partial script for 1-hour teleclass on 12/8/09

Welcome to what I hope will be a wonderful talk on positive psychology. I will be your host tonight. My name is John Schinnerer. I hold a Ph.D. in educational psychology from U.C. Berkeley. In 2007, I wrote a positive psychology book called ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion & Thought’ which was awarded Best Self-Help Book of the year. In 2006, I hosted a daily primetime radio show here in the SF Bay Area. Currently, I do keynote speaking, teach and see private clients.  I also collaborate with the University of New Zealand on the International Wellbeing Study which you can participate in at www.wellbeingstudy.com. 

Just a bit of housekeeping…If you have questions during the talk, please email me at john@guidetoself.com and I will do my best at the end to answer them. Your end of the phone has been muted as there are over 500 people on this call.

     I like to start off my talks with a joke to put you in a positive frame of mind. So here it goes…

A psychologist is holding a group therapy session in which there are four young mothers, each of whom has a small child with her. The psychologist gazes at the four women and blurts out “You’re all obsessed. And your obsessions show up in the names of your kids.”

He points to the first mother and calmly states “You are obsessed with spending money & shopping…you named your daughter Penny.”

The shrink points to the second mother and dryly adds “And you are stuck on the issue of eating. You went so far as to name your daughter Candy!”

As the remaining two mothers shift uncomfortably in their seats, the psychologist continues, pointing to the 3^rd mother, “While you have a drinking problem which shows itself in your daughter’s name – Brandy.”

     ……

At that point, the fourth mother, who can’t contain herself any longer, stands up, grabs her son by the hand and says …

“Come on Dick, we’re getting out of here!”

 

     I told this joke on the radio to thousands of listeners and got a landslide of positive feedback ….initially. One lady, who was driving when she heard it, said she had to pull over to the side of the freeway because she was laughing so hard. However, the show was rerun and then we started to get a few complaints. So the station owner called me in to tell me we couldn’t run the show anymore. I asked why not. He said because the joke was dirty. I knowingly asked what was dirty about it. He said it was the reference to sex. I told him that there was no mention in the joke as to whether or not the sex was taking place in a marriage. You see, the dirtiness of this joke is truly in the mind of the listener. If one assumes the sex is taking place within a marriage, there really is nothing dirty about the joke (unless you think sex in general is aversive).  The reason I tell this story is to point out that there are many different way of seeing the world, different ways of viewing the actions of others and even various ways of relating to your own mind, your thoughts, and your feelings.  And I’ll discuss a few of these points today.

Now that you are prepped to learn something new, let’s talk about positive psychology because it holds great promise. Just to be clear, positive psych is not a self-help movement. It is not as simple as positive thinking. It has no relation to books such as The Secret. It is not a passing trend.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of optimal functioning, the applied approach to human flourishing. The lessons of positive psychology are beneficial for everyone – teenagers, executives, managers and the elderly. Even the Army is currently training thousands of sergeants in positive psychology to boost the resiliency of troops and to decrease the possibility of post-traumatic stress disorder. While our Army troops have always been physically fit, we are now seeing a momentous shift in thinking which will enable them to become psychologically fit as well.

So this class and positive psychology in general definitely has something to offer you and it is as valuable in your personal life as in your professional life. At the heart of positive psychology are a number of research based findings into how and when people function at their very best.

Most of us spend a great deal of our time worrying over what might go wrong, or beating ourselves up over what we think did go wrong, or feeling disappointed over the inherent unfairness of life. Recent research shows that we are hard-wired to pay closer attention to this that go wrong than things that go right. And from an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. Being overly vigilant for threats and problems helped keep us alive from predators back when sabre-toothed tigers roamed the earth.

However, this hard wiring focused on the negative does not serve us well in modern day life.  Events such as childrens’ skinned knees, missed deadlines, speaking in public or bumper-to-bumper traffic may feel frustrating, scary or stressful but they are not matters of life and death.

So take a quick moment to ask yourself,

‘How much is my focus on what might go wrong helping me?’

‘How much are my negative emotions, such as fear and anger, assisting me in reaching my goals?’

To these questions, positive psychology provides a somewhat unusual answer:

spend more time focusing on what is going right with your life,

focus more on what may go well in the future,

and see how much that approach helps you reach your goals.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not suggesting that you only have a positive perspective. I am not suggesting that you be foolishly optimistic. There is a great deal of merit to accurately foreseeing and planning for potential problems. It’s a matter of balance. How much of your mental time is spent focusing on problems as compared to looking at the positives. Positive psychology has found that there are tremendous benefits to learning to focus more on what is right with us and what may go well in the future.

One of the basic assumptions of Positive psychology is that all people are ‘Born to be Good’ to quote the title of Dacher Keltner’s book and that we can become better, happier and more productive.  Let me repeat that, we can learn to be happier. Your happiness is not written in stone. You can learn techniques to increase your satisfaction with life.

What makes the crucial difference between positive psychology and traditional self-help books is the mountain of research upon which positive psychology is built. At this point, there are over 50,000 studies having to do with happiness, realistic optimism, human strengths, life satisfaction and more. Empirical researchers across the world are looking for testable theories and explanations supported by hard data. It is, in simplest terms, a powerful movement from faith to facts. So everything I write about, everything about which I speak, is based on scientific studies and replicable data.

The biggest shift towards a positive psychology took place in the late 1990s when Martin Seligman, as president of the American Psychological Association, began asking the question “what is right with people?” For over 100 years, medicine and psychology had both focused on what was wrong with people and how problems could be fixed. Seligman used his influence to create a new branch of science termed positive psychology focusing on what is right with us, how we can lead more thriving, fulfilling, and meaningful lives.

Seligman and Mike Csikszentmihalyi brought together some of the top young researchers in psychology to study topics such as hope, happiness, gratitude, wisdom, creativity and optimal human functioning. From there it spread to include researchers in humanistic psychology, philosophy, executive coaches, sports psychology, developmental psychologists and many more areas. It continues to spread to business, education and counseling.

The best part is that positive psychology works and works well. Positive psychology exercises have been shown in numerous studies to promote strengths, improve optimal functioning, to increase realistic optimism and to increase the frequency of positive emotions.

Some of you may be skeptical. I completely understand this. I was skeptical at first too.  I was brought up to focus on the negative.  Most of us were. And most clients that I see focus first and foremost on problems, such as how to help under-performing workers, or how to shore up the weaknesses of people they manage.

One of the greatest contributions of Positive psychology is the finding that by focusing energy and attention on strengths and by tapping into positive emotions, all of us will enjoy more success than if we focus on weaknesses and problems.

In terms of using positive psychology in the workplace, the Gallup Organization has shown that disengaged workers cost firms billions of dollars per year in accidents, sabotage, turnover costs, lost customers and healthcare. Engaged or happy workers have a higher probability of making more money, innovating, being on time to work, being healthier physically, receive higher ratings from supervisors and customers, and help out coworkers more frequently. Happiness doesn’t just feel good, it is good for the bottom line and good for employees.

To give you an example, last year, I did some consulting with the executive board of a large insurance company. They were having trouble with several vice presidents who were holding grudges over an incident that happened over many years ago. Two of the vice presidents were actively sabotaging one another’s projects resulting in increased costs to the company. As part of my time there, I gave a two hour talk to the executive board on positive psychology, and I specifically focused on what the research has to say about forgiveness  based on research from Stanford University – what it is, what it is NOT, how to do it and why you want to do it. To me, forgiveness is the best single way to wash out all that stale anger you’ve been hiding for years. At the end of my talk, I suggested to the 11 executives that they try forgiving each other for past transgressions. After a long pause, I watched as all of the executives stood up, and began forgiving every other person in the room.  They hugged; they apologized to each other; and they forgave one another. It was powerful. And it changed the way in which they interacted from that day forward. The vice presidents were more supportive of one another, more cooperative, and they stopped their internal sabotage.

 Positive psychology is filtering into education as well. I do a monthly speaking series at a continuation high school where the students are sent if they are behind on credits, if they have behavior problems, emotional difficulties, or are coming out of juvenile hall. So it’s a pretty hard crowd.  One of the more difficult cases was an African-American female student who challenged me during a presentation “You aren’t black. You aren’t female. And you don’t live in a group home. Why should I listen to anything you say?!” It was a valid question. My response? “You’re absolutely right. I’m a totally bald, white, 42 year old man who lives with his wife and four children. And on a physical level you are correct. We share little in common. Here is what I can tell you…that on an emotional level, everything you have ever felt in your life – fear, anger, despair, happiness, pride, love – everything you have felt, I have felt also. So, on an emotional level we are nearly identical. I have been studying emotions for the past 12 years and I’ve found some tools that really work to help manage negative emotions and cultivate more positive emotions. So it’s your choice – you can listen and try some of the tools for yourself, see if they work, or you can ignore me. Either way, it’s up to you.” From that moment on, she was a fan - engaged, interested and willing to learn. She went on to work at a hospital this summer and now is looking at attending community college when she graduates at the end of this school year.

The Power of Positive Emotions

One of the areas I have researched over the past dozen years with great curiosity and passion is emotions. I have found that there is tremendous power in our emotions. Emotions are the social glue that binds our relationships.  The effective use of emotions, or leveraging emotions to your benefit, is what draws people to leaders. Emotional leverage is what separates truly great leaders from average executives. Emotions may initially be a bit frightening. Many people spend a great deal of energy trying to suppress or contain emotion. Yet, emotions have been with the human race for millions of years. Each emotion serves a purpose. Anger, for instance, helps move past obstacles or challenges. It helps us stand up to social injustices. Sadness keeps us close to home after suffering a loss. Fear keeps us safe from perceived danger.

Take a moment to think back to the last time you experienced an intense emotion. It may have been surprise, fear, rage, disappointment, sorrow, joy, awe or pride. It may have been pride due to your child’s outstanding grades, or joy watching your team win a close game, or frustration at yourself for making a mistake at work, or the feeling of contentment while working in your yard. What we’re finding is that emotions transcend our physical bodies. They are contagious. You can catch feelings from others around you. Studies have shown that happiness is contagious just like anger. Emotions are also closely and powerfully linked to what and how you remember the past. Look through an old photo album and you will clearly see the sway emotions have over your memories. What’s more, emotions play a large role in learning, communication, and even in our morality.

So it is critical to understand and learn to leverage emotions. In particular, you must understand the purpose and strength of positive emotions, because you can put them to great use in your daily life. Expertly leveraging emotions will help you be more successful.  As Robert Biswas-Diener puts it, ‘positive emotion is one of the greatest resources you and your clients, colleagues or students are currently overlooking.’

Emotions may be best thought of as a guidance system for your life. When you experience guilt, for example, it’s a sign that your actions are not in keeping with your values. And the unpleasant feeling motivates you to bring your actions back in line with your values. When things are going smoothly, your guidance system lets you know with an all clear signal – positive emotions such as peacefulness or contentment.  Of course, this guidance system is not perfect. We occasionally misinterpret our emotions, and sometimes our emotions are just plain wrong like when we feel highly fearful before speaking in public. However, our emotions give us important and valuable feedback the majority of the time. And there is power in learning how to be aware of emotions, in learning how to correctly read emotions, and greater success lies in the ability to cultivate more positive emotions.

 

 

So what can positive emotions do for you?

One of the biggest breakthroughs for positive psychology comes from Barbara Fredrickson at UNC Chapel Hill who came up with an evolutionary explanation for the existence of positive emotions. Barbara’s hypothesis is that the primary function of positive emotion is to broaden and build.  That is, they broaden our thought processes and they build lasting internal resources. Positive emotions, such as awe, peacefulness and love, allow your mind to blossom, creating more options, more possibilities, in terms of thoughts and actions.  Positive emotions help us be more creative, imaginative, and innovative. If you need to brainstorm for a new marketing slogan, you’ll do a better job if you are happy when you do it.

In addition, positive emotions have long-term beneficial effects because they build internal resources which may be used to help assist others in need or to manage future threats. In other words, positive emotions fill up your gas tank.  This means that positive emotions fill your emotional reservoir with positive emotional energy to increase your sense of well-being and physical health and which you can share with others when they need support and love.

What’s more, positive emotions have been shown to undo the lingering physiological effects of negative emotions. Positive emotions act as the hidden RESET button to the bodily changes caused by negative emotions, changes such as elevated blood pressure and increased cortisol levels in the blood stream.

      In the workplace, positive emotions are related to higher salaries, less sick days, better relationships with coworkers, better supervisor ratings, better customer ratings, and reduced employee turnover.

      In terms of physical health, positive folks are less likely to get ill, live longer, experience less pain, have fewer hospital visits, and when in a good mood, have faster cardiovascular recovery times. On the other hand, those with depression are more likely to engage in smoking, drug abuse, suicidal attempts, and have more emergency room visits.

In psychology, it is generally understood that bad is stronger than good, or the negative is stronger than the positive.  Bad events have a greater power over us, our emotions, thoughts and behaviors, than do good ones. You are more motivated to avoid bad self-definitions than to pursue good ones. You are quicker to form bad judgments of other people than good ones. It takes approximately 5 compliments to undo the negative effects from one insult. Your brain processes negative information more thoroughly than it does positive information. So it’s great news that the harmful effects of negative feelings can be undone by positive emotions.

While we could come up with a list of hundreds of emotion words, there are ten positive emotions that have been verified in studies. From the most frequently occurring to the least frequent, they are… love, joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration and awe. And we know from research that positive emotions are fleeting and fragile. They are easily done away with and they are generally less powerful than negative emotions. So you have to increase your awareness of and be on the lookout for positive emotions throughout your day.

A Few Positive psychology Exercises:

Okay, let’s turn to some of the interventions that have been proven to boost your happiness.

The Blessings Exercise

One study done by Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania sought to help 50 severely depressed people. These were folks that stayed in bed most of the day, crawled out occasionally to check their email, and then returned to bed. They were asked to do one thing every day for two weeks.

            Write down three things that went well today and why they went well.

This daily gratitude journal is a powerful yet simple way to redirect the mind to the positive instead of dwelling on the negative. After two weeks of doing this exercise, the majority saw a significant improvement in their depressive symptoms.  People frequently report feeling happier and more positive after this assignment.

Mental Scrapbook of Positive Memories

Another exercise that has been shown to increase positive emotions is reliving positive memories. This exercise is as simple as focusing your attention on a positive event in your past. It might be a big athletic event, a wedding, the birth of a child, finishing school or a promotion. This activity may be combined with actual physical reminders of the past, such as photos, ticket stubs, trophies, college degrees, and printed testimonials.  You can also create your own positive scrapbook using most cell phones these days. Simply create a folder in which you keep photos of positive events. Start your own collection today. The main idea here is to savor the experience, to pay close attention to sensory details, to squeeze every last ounce of positive emotion out of the experience.

The extent to which you experience positive emotions is largely based on your thinking. Overthinking kills positive emotions. Worry, doubt, and stress drown out positive emotions. Emotions are highly individualized. They vary from person to person and what evokes one emotion in one person may not do the same in another. What makes one person recoil in disgust may make another person laugh. Emotions depend on how you interpret events. You have to take a moment (in the moment) and look for the good in the situation. Once you find the good, you must intentionally magnify it, and let it grow.  You have the power to turn positive emotions off and on.

Look at the room you’re in right now.

Ask yourself:

What’s going right for me right now?

How am I fortunate/blessed to be here?

How does being here benefit me?

What meaning can I take away from this situation?

When you take time to think this way, it builds gratitude in you.

By the way, it is normal if positivity feels unusual or weird at first.

Capitalizing on Love

One of the foremost researchers in the area of love and marriage is Shelly Gable, an assistant professor of psychology at UCLA. Most researchers looking at marriage work on conflict management, how to create more harmony between partners, and how individuals in a couple cope with traumatic events.  Gable is one of a handful of researcher who looks at what makes a thriving marriage. Her work provides some valuable insights if you are interested in transforming your good relationship (e.g., friendship, marriage, parent or child) into a great one.

Gable looks to see how you respond when your spouse tells you that he’s just been promoted, or your child tells you that she won Class President, or when your mother tells you she won a tennis tournament, or when your friend tells you she just won a huge lawsuit. Gable puts your responses into four different categories which break down as follows:

1.      An enthusiastic reaction such as “Wow! That’s tremendous. That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week. I’m sure there are more great things to come for you. You’ve definitely earned it. Congratulations!” This reaction is called the active-constructive response by Gable.

2.      A more subdued reaction where you share your happiness but say little. For example, “That’s nice dear.” This is the passive-constructive response.

3.      Or perhaps you point out some of the potential pitfalls or negatives within the good event. For instance, “Wow, I sure hope you can handle all that extra responsibility. Does this mean you will have to work extra hours?” Gable refers to this as the active-destructive response.

4.      Or, you might respond with disinterest and not respond to the good news at all. Most folks do this by merely changing the subject, “Yes, but what do you think about the weather outside?” This is known as the passive-destructive response.

The first type of response, the active-constructive one, is called “capitalizing” by Gable and here’s the fascinating part…capitalizing amplifies the pleasure of the good event and creates an upward spiral of good feelings.

Gable has shown that capitalizing is one of the keys to strong, supportive, thriving relationships. 

So how do you respond to good news from other people?

Are you a “capitalizer” who creates upward spirals of positive emotions?

Or do you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the good news of others?

The consequences of learning how to be more of a “capitalizer” are impressive and robust. Couples who describe themselves as having a spouse who is active and constructive in response to their good news are more committed to the relationship, more in love, and happier in their marriage.  Think about that the next time your mate comes in the door with exciting news.

Closing Remarks

            I’ve found a large number of people are passionate and excited about positive psychology. It offers an energizing approach to your personal and professional life. Hopefully, by sharing some information about positive psychology, you’ve become excited about the possibilities also.

Again my name is John Schinnerer. I’m happy to speak to those interested in future keynote presentations or seeing clients privately. My book is entitled ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion & Thought’ and may be purchased at Amazon.com, or Target.com. My email address is John@GuideToSelf.com.  My website is www.GuideToSelf.com. Please feel free to go and sign up for my newsletter by clicking on Email Sign Up on the left of the screen.

Now to your questions…

 

Hope you enjoyed it!

Have a wonderful evening,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

913 San Ramon Valley Blvd.

Danville, CA 94526

 http://www.guidetoself.com

---

 

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Positive Psychology and Optimal Human Functioning - A Complementary Telecourse 11/18/09 at 6 pm PST

29. October 2009 by John Schinnerer.

 Guide To Self with Dr. John Schinnerer
Optimal Human Functioning Via Positive Psychology
925-575-0258
John@GuideToSelf.com

Dear Friends:

I have been invited to conduct a training class at a speaking platform like no other and wanted to invite you to listen. The class is complimentary and you can listen to as many classes as you wish from the comfort of your home and convenience of your telephone or computer.

The class I am offering a complementary training course, Positive Psychology: The Science of Optimal Human Functioning, on November 18th, 2009 at 6 pm PST.
To find out more, please go to: http://www.globalteleclass.com
 

At this platform you will be trained, motivated and inspired by some of the most respected speakers in the Health, Personal Development and Sales & Marketing Industries.

For the month of November, scheduled speakers include:

Health Department: Steven Frank, Jennifer Hough, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Elaine Petrone, Eric Rolf, Nancy Desjardins, Dr. John Schinnerer, and Jimmy Moore

Sales & Marketing Department: Beatty Carmichael, Angela Treat Lyon, Heather Picken, Jerry Ellefson, Rik Schnabel, Ed Dacey, and Mary Beth Lozano

Personal Development Department: Joan Marie Whelan, Dr. Rick Brinkman, Satyen Raja, Leslie Householder, Dr. Gloria Burgess, Ken Foster & Amazon John Easterling, Debbie Friedman, Stephanie Frank, Nanette Geiger, Katana Abbott, Philip Tirone, Deborah Skye King, Michelle Rigg, Wes Hopper, and Steve Keough.

Remember, these classes are being offered at no cost to you and you can listen from the comfort of your home and convenience of your telephone or computer.

Please take advantage of this offer and register today!

http://www.globalteleclass.com

To your success,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Positive Psychology Coach
Guide To Self, Inc.
913 San Ramon Valley Blvd. #280
Danville, CA 94526
(925) 575-0258

 

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice coaching individuals to their optimal human functioning using the science of positive psychology. He is President of Guide To Self (http://www.guidetoself.com), a company that focuses on executive coaching, emotional management skills and mindful living.  He holds a doctorate from U.C. Berkeley in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer hosted Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show on positive psychology and emotional management. Dr. Schinnerer started in the private sector as President of Infinet Assessment (http://www.infinetassessment.com), a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Dr. Schinnerer is the award-winning author of Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought and numerous articles. His book may be found at Amazon.com, Target.com and BarnesAndNoble.com.

Posted in Raising optimistic children, National speakers, Emotion & learning, Science of love, Curiosity, Mindfulness, Hope, Gratitude, Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, Executive coach, Unsconscious mind, Therapist, San Ramon CA, Employee engagement, International Wellbeing Study, Corporate Culture, Resiliency, The human brain, Creativity, Life coach, Emotional IQ, Dr. John Schinnerer, Realistic optimism, Positive Psychology, Forgiveness, Innovative brand research, Staying calm, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Men's emotions, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Positive mood music, Customer Engagement, Happiness, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE AND MINDFUL AWARENESS

4. September 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Here is a heart-warming piece written by Saskia Davis:

 

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

A loss of interest in judging other people

A loss of interest in judging self

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others

A loss of interest in conflict

A loss of ability to worry

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature

Frequent attacks of smiling

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than to make them happen.

An increased susceptibility to love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it

WARNING: Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many already have been exposed; and it is possible that people, everywhere, could come down with it in epidemic proportions.

This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be too far advanced to be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.

Source: http://symptomsofinnerpeace.net/Authors_Website/Wall_Poster.html

Be sure to find your own  inner peace!

Blessings,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

P.S. If you are over 16, be sure to take 25-30 minutes to take the survey at www.wellbeingstudy.com to help us with the first International Wellbeing Study! You might win $100 gift certificate and help humanity at the same time! Please use the code ‘JSWEB’ so I can track respondents. Thank you!

Posted in Gratitude, Awareness, Hope, Mindfulness, Curiosity, Science of love, Positive expectations, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Altruism, Resiliency, Creativity, Dr. John Schinnerer, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Emotional IQ, Staying calm, Consciousness, Emotional mind, Happiness, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

U.S. Army Working With Univ. of Pennsylvania to Develop Master Resiliency Program Using Positive Psychology

7. August 2009 by John Schinnerer.

 From a press release from the U.S. Army

WASHINGTON (Army News Service, Aug. 5, 2009) — The Army has been working with the University of Pennsylvania to develop master resiliency training that will soon be taught to Soldiers, family members and Army civilians.

The resiliency training is part of Comprehensive Soldier Fitness, which focuses on the five dimensions of strength: emotional, social, spiritual, family and physical.

“As people develop their holistic fitness strength, they develop psychological resilience to not only bounce back, but to thrive under challenging conditions,” said Brig. Gen. Rhonda Cornum, CSF director.

“We’ve been working for about the last year on Comprehensive Soldier Fitness,” said Gen. George W. Casey Jr., chief of staff of the Army. “It’s designed to bring mental fitness up to the same level that we give to physical fitness. In this era of persistent conflict, we’ve found that the vast majority of Soldiers deploying have a positive growth experience because they’re exposed to something very difficult and they succeed. Our goal through Comprehensive Soldier Fitness is to ensure all Soldiers have the skills to grow and succeed.”

Master resiliency training is being adapted from the Positive Psychology Program at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. UPENN instructs teachers (middle and high school) on how to impart resiliency skills to their students during the school year. More than a dozen scientific studies have shown positive results in students whose teachers have been trained in this program - including better grades, less dropouts and less behavioral issues.

Potential master resiliency trainers participated in an informational session in May. At this session 32 Soldiers and Army civilians received the civilian version of the UPENN course. In June and July a smaller focus group attended the course in an effort to tailor the current curriculum for Army use. Another training pilot program is scheduled for Aug. 10-19 at the school.

“The training is informative and motivational,” said Dana Whitis, an Army employee who attended the five-day course.

“Resilience training encourages a person to take a mental note of their past behavior and present situation and promotes alternative ways to view the occurrence,” explained Whitis, who works for the Family, Morale Welfare and Recreation Command. She went on to say that resiliency training will eventually be offered to Army family members.

“It will augment existing Army family program structure and programs,” Whitis said. “I look forward to family members receiving resilience training.”

Command Sgt. Maj. Teresa King, who is stationed at Fort Jackson, S.C., said the training has equipped her “to be more resolute in bouncing back from adversities and instead of using a negative or pessimistic approach, I now view what I decide are negative situations as an opportunity for growth, through positive thinking.”

King said she is “happier” since the training and feels she has a better understanding of her peers, Soldiers, friends and family members.

The Army is now incorporating practices learned from the UPENN program as the building of MRT continues.

MRT will operate as a “train-the-trainer” program, and aims to turn participants into fitness experts able to train others and strengthen the force as a whole. MRT will eventually be taught during basic combat training, at officer schools, and throughout all levels of the Army, Cornum said.

In the first five days of the MRT course, students learn the basic tenants of resiliency training. The remaining days focus on how to teach the material.

Sgt. Maj. James Whitfield, who attended the five-day seminar at UPenn, said the “train-the-trainer” program covers subjects such as avoiding thinking traps, building resiliency and surveying individuals’ strong points and “not-so-strong points.”

The course overview received great reviews from the participants who said it has potential to be beneficial to the leader-Soldier bond. The Army will continue to adapt the program to make it more relevant for Soldiers as the curriculum-development continues, officials said.

Phase two of the program calls for establishing an MRT school to train leaders (squad leaders, platoon sergeants, etc.) on how to impart resiliency skills through daily education and training. Phase three will allow for voluntary participation by family members and Army civilians.

“The Army is committed to a true prevention model aimed at the entire force, not only Soldiers and civilians in the throes of a crisis,” said Lt. Gen. James D. Thurman, deputy chief of staff, G-3/5/7.

CSF recognizes the absolute necessity of a comprehensive, coordinated effort to enhance the fitness and resiliency of our Army, particularly important during this era of persistent conflict and most importantly into the foreseeable future. Ultimately, Soldier fitness in the comprehensive sense is, and has always been, the business of leaders.

http://www.army.mil/-news/2009/08/05/25494-army-developing-master-resiliency-training/

Posted in Mindfulness, Resiliency, Consciousness, Assertiveness, Hope, Emotion & learning, Curiosity, Gratitude, Managing Sadness, Managing Anxiety, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Forgiveness, Creativity, Guide to Self, Emotional management, Happiness, Anxiety, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

The Top 12 Warning Signs of Good Health and Happiness

6. August 2009 by John Schinnerer.

If several of these symptoms appear, you may be happy and healthy, visits to the doctor may be greatly reduced.

1. Regular flare-ups of a supportive network of friends and family.
2. Chronic positive expectations.
3. Repeated episodes of gratitude & generosity.
4. Increased appetite for physical activity.
5. Marked tendency to identify and express feelings.
6. Compulsion to contribute to society.
7. Lingering sensitivity to the feelings of others.
8. Habitual behavior related to seeking new challenges.
9. Craving for peak experiences.
10. Tendency to adapt to changing conditions.
11. Feelings of spiritual involvement.
12. Persistent sense of humor.

Whole Earth Review magazine

Have a wonderful Thursday!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Posted in Mindfulness, Altruism, Resiliency, Managing Sadness, Hope, Gratitude, Danville CA, National speakers, Science of love, Curiosity, Managing Anxiety, Emotional mind, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Creativity, Guide to Self, Morals and values, Happiness, Staying calm, Emotional IQ, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Positive Psychology & Resiliency for Job Seekers - Dr. John Schinnerer presents - Video - Leadership Summit Danville CA

22. July 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Dr. John Schinnerer

Psychologist, Author, Radio Show Host, Entrepreneur

Danville, CA

Why should you care about positive emotions in business?

How do positive emotions help you to be more creative? More productive? More profitable?

How do you become more resilient in tough times?

How do you empty yourself of old, stagnant anger?

How do you flourish as an individual and as a management team?

Watch this complimentary video from Dr. John Schinnerer and find out now.

Click here to download Quicktime movie

Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company in Danville CA, that focuses on what makes people successful in life. Dr. Schinnerer coaches executives, individuals and groups to their potential using the latest in scientifically proven interventions. Most recently, Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show on positive psychology and emotional management, in the San Francisco Bay Area. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. He wrote the award-winning book ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought’.

The link to the quick time movie is http://www.jobconnections.org/speaker4.shtml.

Enjoy!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Posted in The human brain, Organizational psychology, Subconscious mind, Consciousness, Managing Anxiety, Managing Sadness, Resiliency, Mindfulness, Curiosity, National speakers, Gratitude, Psychology humor, Hope, Awareness, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Dr. John Schinnerer, Creativity, Managing stress, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Business & psych, Life coach, Guide to Self, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Depression, Happiness, Customer Engagement, Emotional IQ, Anxiety, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Comcast to Air Dr. John Schinnerer’s Positive Psychology talk - 7/19/09 at 8 pm on Channels 26 & 28

18. July 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Exciting news! Comcast cable is going to air the CPC Leadership Summit at which I spoke on television channels 26 & 28 on 8 pm on the evenings of 7/19/09, 7/23/09 and 7/24/09.

You’ll be able to watch Paul Kingsman, Dr. John Schinnerer (myself!), and Lt. Governor John Garamendi speak to a packed house of 1500 individuals.

My presentation was on Using Positive Psychology to Increase Resiliency During Job Search.

Truly, the tools I share are good practice for all of us, regardless of our position, age, gender or race.

Hope you enjoy it!

Dr. John Schinnerer

Posted in Anger Management, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Subconscious mind, The human brain, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Resiliency, Happiness, Emotional IQ, Managing stress, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Dr. John Schinnerer, Creativity, Guide to Self, Life coach, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Surprising Facts About Happiness - Gr8 Article Summarizing Research in Positive Psychology

12. July 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Here is a great article by Andrew Rosenthal of Happier.com which summarizes some of the latest findings in positive psychology regarding happiness - what it takes, what it gives and how to get it.

 ’A wealth of research has been done over the past few years on happiness – why it’s so important to be happy, how to measure your own happiness and of course, how to improve your own happiness. Yet we’re all so busy on a day to day basis, that trying to focus on happiness can seem like a luxury.

It’s important to know why happiness is such a big deal. Here are a few proven by- products of happiness that just might surprise you!…’

Please feel free to read the rest of the article at the source below…

http://www.notjustthekitchen.com/family-relationships/surprising-facts-on-happiness/

Have a positive day!

Dr. John Schinnerer

Guide To Self, Inc.

Posted in Managing Anxiety, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Happiness, Managing Sadness, Resiliency, Science of love, Curiosity, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Customer Engagement, Staying calm, Measuring emotions, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Positive Psychology, Dr. John Schinnerer, Creativity, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Life coach, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Positive Emotions Boost Life Satisfaction By Building Resilience (the Bounce Effect)

12. July 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Individuals who focus their awareness on brief moments of positive emotions have greater resilience than those who simpmlyl pass those moments by.

 Barbara Fredrickson’s latest study in the journal Emotion (link below) shows that focusing on micromoments that involve positive emotions (such as joy, interest, curiosity, awe, pride, contentment, relaxation, love, hope and more) leads to greater resiliency. This higher level of resiliency allows such individuals to bounce back from adversity more quickly, with greater energy and more wisdom. It also allows resilient individuals to fight off stress and depression more quickly and efficiently.

 The study focused on capturing respondents’ daily recollections of feelings (e.g., ‘Today, how much curiosity did you feel?’) as opposed to more general, longer-term feelings (e.g., ‘Over the past month, how much curiosity did you feel?’). This led to a  more accurate picture of moment-to-moment feelings and enabled more accurate measurement of momentary vicissitudes.

Focusing on cultivating more positive emotions does not require eliminating ‘negative’ emotions (e.g., fear, anger, sadness). ‘Negative’ emotions are a necessary and important part of life. They cannot be done away with nor do we want to do away with them. One does not need to adopt a Pollyana-ish attitude of eternal optimism to enjoy the benefits of positive emotions.

Simply by focusing on fleeting, fragile, low level intensity moments of positive emotions, one is rewarded with a boost in resiliency.  And in this day and age, who couldn’t use a little more bounciness when faced with life’s ubiquitous challenges?

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

http://psycnet.apa.org/?fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/a0015952

Cohn, et. al. Happiness Unpacked: Positive Emotionss Increase Life Satisfaction by Building Resilience. Emotion, 2009; 9 (3): 361

Posted in Resiliency, The human brain, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Mindfulness, Hope, Science of love, Curiosity, Gratitude, Awareness, Happiness, Customer Engagement, Measuring emotions, Managing stress, Realistic optimism, Forgiveness, Dr. John Schinnerer, Creativity, Tips to help anxiety, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Life coach, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Was St. Francis of Assisi the first positive psychologist?

18. May 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Positive psychology has been defined in a number of ways, as the science of happiness, the empirical pursuit of subjective well-being, ways to reliably increase life satisfaction, and so on.

I recently came across a quote from St. Francis of Assisi that was written hundreds of years ago yet contains many tenets which I would include in any discussion of positive psychology. Here it is…

“Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace,

That where there is hatred I may bring love;

That where there is wron I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;

That where there is discord I may bring truth;

That where there is doubt I may bring faith;

That where there is despair I may bring hope;

And where there are shadows I bring Thy light;

That where there is  sadness I may bring joy;

Lord grant that I may seek rather to comfort than be comforted,

To understand than be understood,

To love than be loved;

For it is by giving that one receives,

Is it by self-forgetting that one finds,

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven,

It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.”

So here we have a number of topics that might fall under the heading of positive psychology:

Peace (Character Strengths and Virtues)

Love  (Barbara Fredrickson - UNC Chapel Hill; also love is most highly associated with life satisfaction and happiness per Chris Peterson)

Forgiveness (Fred Luskin - Stanford)

Truth (character strengths and values a la Chris Peterson & Nansook Park)

Faith (spirituality seems to be a central component of a meaningful live &  a key part of resiliency - Dennis Charney)

Hope  (another positive trait which is associated 2nd most highly with life satisfaction and happiness; research in progress by Rick Snyder at KU)

Joy (self-explanatory)

Altruism (studies have shown that helping others is one of the best ways to increase happiness)

Curiosity (openness to new ideas, cognitive flexibility, approaching novel situations; Todd Kashdan)

Nonattachment to self (Buddhist concept, yet nonattachment is fundamental to contentment, relaxation and high performance)

This seemingly simple prayer by  St. Francis predates positive psychology by hundreds of years. Fortunately, we are now finding empirical evidence to back it up.

Have a wonderful week!

All the best,
John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/johnschin

Posted in Altruism, Resiliency, The human brain, Men's emotions, Mindfulness, Assertiveness, Science of love, Curiosity, Gratitude, Hope, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Life coach, Creativity, Dr. John Schinnerer, Forgiveness, Emotional IQ, Staying calm, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Morals and values, Happiness, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Influences on My Work in Positive Psychology and Reproduceable Happiness

26. February 2009 by John Schinnerer.

Having a strong skeptical personal makeup, I have made a point throughout my career of backing up everything of which I write and speak upon with peer-reviewed scientific studies.  I have sought to put together a comprehensive theory of a happy, thriving and meaningful life. I have worked towards ways to dump out negative, destructive emotions and ways to cultivate positive, constructive emotions.

Many folks ask me for the names of the shoulders of the giants upon whom my work stands. For those individuals, and for others who might be interested, here are a few of the tremendous researchers to whom I am eternally grateful.

Forgiveness based on work of Dr. Fred Luskin, Director of Stanford Forgiveness Project. Dr. Luskin’s work has been successfully applied and researched in corporate, medical, legal and religious settings. He currently serves as a Senior Consultant in Health Promotion at Stanford University.

Positivity and Positive Emotions based on work of Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, Kenan Distinguished Professor. She is the “genius of the positive psychology movement” according to Martin Seligman. She came up with the ‘broaden and build” theory for positive emotions as well as the 3:1 ratio for a flourishing life. Amazing work.

Mindfulness based on work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus and founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

Realistic Optimism, Happiness, Disputing Catastrophic Thoughts based on the work of Martin Seligman, founder of the field of positive psychology in 2000, devoted his career since then to furthering the study of positive emotion, positive character traits, and positive institutions. Seligman directs the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

Sustainable Happiness based on the work of Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., professor of psychology at U.C. Riverside. She won the 2002 Templeton Positive Psychology Prize and multiyear grant from NIMH. She recently wrote The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

Emotional Awareness based on the work of Paul Ekman, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at UCSF. Ekman is a world-renowned expert in emotional research and nonverbal communication. His research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health for 46 years.

Emotions Within Relationships based on work of John Gottman,  Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded the Family Research Lab. He is well known for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, which involves study of emotions (particularly disgust and contempt) and physiology as well as communication. His break-through research on marriage and parenting has earned him numerous national and international awards, including four NIMH Research Scientist Awards.

Moral Development and Positive Psychology based on the work of Jonathan Haidt, one of the world’s foremost authorities on positive psychology (the scientific study of human flourishing) and moral psychology (the study of why people care so much about right and wrong, and sometimes choose to do wrong). He is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. He is the author of The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom, a widely-acclaimed book about how to construct a life of virtue, happiness, fulfillment and meaning.

Gratitude and Thankfulness based on the work of Robert Emmons, Ph.D. Dr. Emmons is currently a Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Davis. His research focuses on personal goals and purpose, spirituality, the psychology of gratitude and thankfulness, and subjective well-being.  Robert Emmons is the founding editor and editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology. Widely regarded as the world’s foremost expert in the study of gratitude, Dr. Emmons was one of the early pioneers in the positive psychology movement.  Dr. Emmons has received research funding from the National Institute of Mental Health and the John M. Templeton Foundation.

Please feel free to take a look at the mountain of papers, books, and talks that these outstanding individuals have done. The world is a better place for them. All the best,
Dr. John L. Schinnerer

Guide To Self, Inc.

Where Meaning Thrives

Posted in Consciousness, Subconscious mind, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Men's emotions, The human brain, Hope, Awareness, Mindfulness, Resiliency, Relationships, Morals and values, Ethics, Realistic optimism, Measuring emotions, Forgiveness, Positive Psychology, Counseling, Dr. John Schinnerer, Creativity, Staying calm, Happiness, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Life coach, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Why Should You Care About Emotions?

22. January 2009 by John Schinnerer.

By John Schinnerer, Ph.D. 

 Why should you care about emotions? What’s the big deal about emotional mastery?  

Emotions influence everything you do, think, and perceive. Emotional mastery is the ability to be instantly aware of which emotion you are feeling and then to manage the emotion (or emotions) once you are aware of it. Once you can recognize your emotions, the next step is to learn to deal with them in an appropriate way. One of the most critical skills we learn as youngsters is the ability to soothe ourselves when we are upset. This means calming ourselves when we are irritated, angry, scared, anxious, sad, or depressed. People who fail to learn this skill are constantly fighting off ongoing anxiety, sadness or irritability. Those who learn to manage their emotions persevere to overcome life’s setbacks. Emotionally wise people are resilient and rebound from disappointments more quickly. They have a positive, optimistic outlook on life. 

Make Room for Both the Rational and the Emotional Minds 

The next step is to realize that each one of us has a thinking, or rational, mind and a feeling, or emotional, mind. At one point in time, scientists and researchers thought we only had a rational mind. How’s that for irony? The thinking mind only discovered itself.  

The Rational Mind 

The rational mind is the means that we usually use to understand the world – it is the thoughtstream that runs constantly behind the back of your forehead. It is the narrator that comments on your daily experience. It is the rational, analytical thinking part of your mind. For example, I can use this logical part of my mind to solve math problems, be logical and analyze data. Using Jon Haidt’s metaphor, the rational mind is the rider on the elephant where the rider is the thinking mind and the elephant is the emotional mind. Recently, Joseph LeDoux, one of the world’s leading researchers in neuroscience, said, “Consciousness may get all the focus but consciousness is a small part of what the brain does, and it’s a SLAVE to everything that works beneath it.” LeDoux is saying that the rider is a slave to the elephant, our rational mind is a slave to our emotional mind. LeDoux believes that our identities are formed from the unique set of learned fears, desires, associations and expectations that are most deeply engrained in our unconscious. For instance, teaching children catch phrases such as ‘Just say ‘no’’ is not going to do the trick because in emotionally-charged situations, the emotional mind will almost always win out. The emotional mind is stronger, faster and can last longer than the rational mind.  Simplistic solutions such as ‘just say ‘no” will not work.  What will work is finding ways to train the emotional mind.  

The Emotional Mind 

Alongside the rational mind is the emotional mind. The emotional mind is irrational, impulsive, creative and intense. It’s the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain pulling the strings of much of your behavior. It’s why you KNOW it’s wrong to steal but go home with office supplies taken from work. It’s why many people have a knee jerk reaction to words like sex, rape and torture. These are emotionally loaded words.   There are many times when the rider (the rational mind) is adequately steering the elephant (the emotional mind), that is, your thinking mind is working in cooperation with your emotional mind. These times take place when you are calm and thinking clearly. However, when you are struck by an emotion, such as fear, the elephant takes over and the rider loses control. The elephant may run from a mouse. He may go off the beaten path to look for grass to eat. Whatever he does, the rider has little input into the actual behavior. And you mind is like the rider and the elephant. When you are consumed by an intense feeling, your emotional mind takes over and your thinking mind is dead in the water.  It becomes nearly impossible to think clearly while in the grasp of a strong emotion such as rage. 

 

Feeling More Than One Emotion At A Time 

What’s more, science has now shown that we can experience more than one emotion at the same time about any given event, or person or memory. For instance, take your favorite song. You may feel happy when you hear the tune, melancholy when you focus on the lyrics and excited when you remember back to the time your first heard it. All of us have the ability to feel multiple emotions - constructive and destructive - simultaneously. Once you understand this point, emotions become quite complex, layered and interesting. 

 

The Human Brain is Hard-Wired for Emotions 

The brain is wired to make us emotional beings. We experience the emotional response to an event before it even reaches the thinking mind. There is a shortcut from the thalamus to the amygdala which bypasses conscious awareness to allow your body to be put on instant alert. A secondary, but slower circuit, in the brain runs from the thalamus (the brain’s receiving room for most information taken in by your senses) to the brain’s ‘thinking’ area, in the prefrontal cortex. That is why sometimes you are overcome by your emotions. When the emotion is strong enough, your emotional mind (the elephant) temporarily takes over control of your mind and body in order to keep you safe. The emotional mind errs on the side of caution. The emotional mind is always on the lookout for danger and possible threats. It picks up 2 or 3 key elements in a situation, and decides in less than .33 seconds whether or not there is a threat present. If a threat is determined to exist, or if there is a good probability that it exists, then the emotional mind takes over and prepares your body to fight or run away. When your emotional mind takes over in such an emergency, real or perceived, it’s known as an emotional hijacking. An emotional hijacking is impulsive, quick, strong, and raw.Your rational mind can help to stop such emotional takeovers. Ideally, you would have time to think about your emotions and your ensuing actions before acting. This enables us to respond to our emotions more appropriately.  This typically takes slightly more time than an emotional hijacking, but it allows us to consider a number of different responses and usually results in a more thoughtful course of action. These responses include whether to attack or run, and also whether to persuade, cajole, beg, plead, charm, seek sympathy, instill guilt, act brave, to be thoughtful, or to do nothing at all.  

The Need for Emotion in Rational Thought 

The fascinating piece of the puzzle is that we all need a balance between our rational and emotional minds in order to lead successful and happy lives.  Amazingly, the rational and the emotional mind, the elephant and the rider, need each other to function at their highest levels. This means that you need your emotions to think straight!I’ll tell you a story to show you what I mean. I know a man who is one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met. He could recite word for word anything he had read in his life. He read books by the boxful. Yet, he was unable to control his emotions. He had high IQ and low EQ.  He was impulsive which means that he acted before he thought about the possible consequences of his actions. So here is this incredibly smart person with terribly flawed decision-making skills and poor emotional control. As he grew older, he made awful choices in his life. He wound up alone and unsuccessful. Some would argue that he could not access his emotional learning.Your emotional learning is where you store your general likes and dislikes. Without a storehouse of prior emotional experiences to compare to present events, everything appears neutral — neither appealing nor unappealing. This means that feelings are essential to thought.Emotions steer us in the best general direction where logic can be put to its best (and more specific) use. Without emotions, we’d be overwhelmed by the dazzling array of choices we need to make every minute of every day. Our emotional learning helps us sift through these options and pulls out the best ones to be analyzed by our rational mind.  In this way, emotions work as an equal partner with logical thought. The better these two partners work together, the higher your intelligence and your emotional intelligence. The goal is to create the most powerful mind possible – one which balances strengths in rational thought with emotional wisdom. Stay tuned to this blog and I’ll share with you scientifically proven ways to train your elephant and develop your most powerful mind. 

About the AuthorDr. John Schinnerer

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping people learn anger management, stress management and the latest ways to deal with destructive negative emotions. He also helps clients learn ways to create happy, meaningful lives. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  He sits on the Advisory Board of Positive Music Imperative (PMI) and The Wellness Community.   

Posted in Alexithymia, Men's emotions, Subconscious mind, Consciousness, Anger Management, The human brain, Resiliency, Hope, Awareness, Assertiveness, Mindfulness, Altruism, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Life coach, Guide to Self, Dr. John Schinnerer, Forgiveness, Positive Psychology, Emotional IQ, Anxiety, Rational mind, Depression, Happiness, Staying calm, Counseling | Print | No Comments »

Dan Millman Shared This Anonymous Quote on Enlightenment with me today…

16. January 2009 by John Schinnerer.

How Enlightened Are You? A Test:

Well. . .

If you can live without caffeine or nicotine;

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;

If you can resist complaining;

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you any time;

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;

If you can ignore friends’ limited educations and never correct them;

If you can treat the rich and poor alike;

If you can face the world without lies or deceit;

If you can conquer tension without medical help;

If you can relax without liquor;

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;

If you can have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender, sexual preference, or politics —

— then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog.

ANONYMOUS

Apparently, I’m still working on enlightenment. The good news is the goal is still out there for which to strive!

John Schinnerer

Posted in Managing Sadness, Managing Anxiety, Men's emotions, Resiliency, Hope, Mindfulness, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Managing stress, Forgiveness, Life coach, Guide to Self, Happiness, Staying calm, Positive Psychology | Print | 1 Comment »

The Key to Surviving the Holidays – Self-Compassion

12. December 2008 by John Schinnerer.

The Key to Surviving the Holidays – Self-Compassion

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

As we enter the holiday season, it makes good sense to talk about survival tools. How do we survive the coming onslaught of family and friends and the accompanying mistakes, failings, and misunderstandings that will inevitably follow in the next three weeks?

Self-Esteem Isn’t the Answer

Ten years ago, the answer might have been to boost everyone’s self-esteem before they come together. For decades, we have been obsessed with self-esteem.  For so long, we thought if we could just make people feel good about themselves, it would solve family problems, societal problems and psychological problems.  We’ve created programs to instill high self-esteem in our children, our students and our families.

Self-Esteem Alone Can Be Dangerous

Self-esteem involves how one feels about him- or herself. There are two types of self-esteem – state and trait. State self-esteem is how positively one evaluates himself in the moment. Trait self-esteem has to do with how positively one sees himself overall. Recent research has shown that increasing self-esteem is not as effective as once thought. Many people with high self-esteem feel so good about themselves that they feel comfortable abusing and taking advantage of other people (e.g., higher degrees of narcissism). At some point, individuals with high self-esteem seem to be able to rationalize destructive behaviors towards others using the idea that they are superior.

Obviously, this was not an intended outcome of self-esteem programs. So how do we get people to feel good about themselves without adding to their sense of superiority?

Self-Compassion – An Inner Critic with LovingKindness

While self-esteem had to do with how one feels about himself, self-compassion involves how one treats himself when things go badly. The goal is to treat oneself with the same type of kindness and compassion that most people extend to loved ones when they fail. When other people fall short of a goal or err, most people will react with kindness and compassion. On the other hand, studies show that most people are harsh with themselves when they screw up. Most people are self-punitive, disparaging and hypercritical of their own shortcomings and mistakes. Unfortunately, this degrades the quality of our emotional lives. It upsets the emotional apple cart, as it were. Even people with high self-esteem are prone to this sort of self-punishing internal beat down. We are truly our own worst critics.

Self-Compassion Leads to Greater Resiliency

People with self-compassion are more resilient. They roll with the punches. Self-compassionate people bounce back more quickly from setbacks because they treat themselves more kindly when they fail or make a mistake.

Can We Have Too Much Self-Compassion?

This all sounds good so far. What’s the catch? Is it possible to be overly self-compassionate to the point where one is self-indulgent? Is it possible, or even probable, that a compassionate person might take no responsibility for their mistakes?

Research at Duke University suggests that is not the case. Self-compassionate people take responsibility for failures and own up to mistakes. They do feel badly when things go awry. According to Mark Leary at Duke, self-compassionate people simply lack that extra layer of self-flagellation and internal criticism. In other words, their internal critic has learned to speak less often and more kindly.   

How To Build More Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff, a researcher at University of Texas (and fellow Berkeley grad), has the following suggestions for ways to foster more self-compassion…

“Self-Kindness – ‘What would a caring friend say to you in this situation?’  ‘What is a kind and constructive way to think about how I can rectify this mistake or do better next time?’  Try putting your hand over your heart or gently stroking your arm when feeling a lot of pain as a gesture of kindness and compassion.

Self-judgment – ‘Who ever said human beings are supposed to be perfect?’  ‘Would a caring mother say this to her child if she wanted the child to grow and develop?’  ‘How will I learn if it’s not okay to make mistakes?’

Common Humanity - Think about all the other people who have made similar mistakes, gone through similar situations, and so on.  ‘This is the human condition - all humans are vulnerable, flawed, make mistakes, have things happen that are difficult and painful’  ‘How does this situation give me more insight into and compassion for the human experience?’

Isolation – ‘I am not the only one going through such difficult times, all people experience things like this at some point in their lives.’  ‘Although I take full responsibilities for my mistakes and failings, I also recognize and understand that my actions and behaviors are connected to other people’s actions and behaviors - nothing happens in a vacuum.’

Mindfulness - Take several deep slow breaths and try to be with your pain exactly as it is. Let yourself feel the pain without suppressing, resisting, or avoiding it.  Take a moment to stop and say to yourself, this is really hard right now.  Let yourself be moved and touched by your own pain.  Try to see the situation clearly with calm, clarity and a balanced perspective.  ‘I fully accept this moment and these emotions as they are.’”

So as you enter the holidays and family tensions rise, remember to be more self-compassionate. If you make a mistake, fall short of a goal, or fail to act a certain way, respond with loving kindness towards yourself, just as you would to a small child. You’ll be glad you did.

About the Author

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice helping individuals learn happiness by mitigating destructive emotions and fostering constructive emotions. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 10 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Dr. Schinnerer is President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants. Dr. Schinnerer’s areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com.  

You can follow Dr. John Schinnerer on Twitter at http://twitter.com/johnschin.

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Dr. John Schinnerer opening private practice in Danville CA on 11-15-08.

30. October 2008 by John Schinnerer.

 

Latest News:

Dr. Schinnerer is proud to announce he is opening a private practice to coach men in the latest ways to manage their anger, fear and sadness. The practice opens November 15th, 2008 at the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center on 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., Suite 280, in Danville CA 94526. For appointments, please call (925) 575-0258.

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