12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

‘Excuse me’, I said kindly, ‘there is a mistake in this report.’ My coworker roared, ‘And I assume you’re perfect?! My reports don’t have mistakes in them. Why don’t you take that report and shove it up your a..!’ She continued with her tirade while I did a quick scan for any sharp objects nearby that she might use on me. After 3 long minutes, she snatched the pages from my hand and stormed off.

While this took place nearly 20 years ago, I remember it vividly as it was an early lesson that the anger of coworkers is not always directed at the right person. More often, the anger of coworkers is misdirected at people who had no involvement in causing the anger in the first place.

So how do you handle it when someone else’s anger begins to escalate in the workplace?

The ability to de-escalate the anger of others is a critical ability for long-term success. As a shrink, father of 4 and award-winning author, I have seen anger take on a life of its own, destroying relationships and derailing careers. While we do our best to act the part of rational, reasonable business people, the truth is that we are also emotional beings…

For the entire article AND my free award-winning eBook, head now to http://www.GuideToSelf.com. You can have instant access to 216 pages of proven tools for advanced management of the mind. This includes the latest tools to turn UP positive emotions (passion, love, contentment, relaxation, etc.) and tools to turn DOWN negative emotions (anger, anxiety, depression).

To love, laughter and life,

John Schinnerer Ph.D.
Founder Guide To Self
Award-winning author (Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought)
Award-winning blogger (Shrunken Mind at http://drjohnblog.guidetoself.com)
http://www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in Gender differences, De-escalating anger, San Francisco Bay Area, Executive coach, San Ramon CA, Violence and abuse, Self-help book, keys to happiness, Emotional terrorists, Free self-help book, Workplace bullies, Managing anger, Anger management therapy, Employee engagement, Emotion & productivity, Staying calm, Victims of bullying, Emotional IQ, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Emotional mind, Assertiveness, Danville CA, Organizational psychology, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Bullies | Print | No Comments »

12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

The antidote for fear, anxiety and nervousness is the cultivation of courage. There are a variety of ways to do this. The most useful for my clients has been to write out your own Courage Story.

Bravery and valor are arguably among the most important of the 24 character strengths. And they fall within the virtue cluster of courage. I’ve always found a truckload of truth in this quotation:

“The secret of life is this: When you hear the sound of the cannons, walk toward them.”

So let me ask you to think back over your life:

“What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?”

Sample answers I’ve heard: Moving across country to a new city without a job…. Going back to school as a single parent with an infant….Staying with my dearest friend as she died of cancer…..Learning to dance at 60…Applying to a graduate program at UC Berkeley….

Mine was facing down my own social anxiety to do a daily primetime radio show.
What’s yours?

Writing Your Courage Story.

Write a succinct one page story about the most courageous thing you’ve ever done. The time period could range from minutes to days or months to years. Be sure to give your story a clear, crisp ending.

Elements to include might be:

• The situation,
• What you feared,
• Why it required your courage,
• What your experience felt and looked like (details are good, sensory details are better!)
• How you acted despite the fear,
• And be sure to give your story a solid, richly detailted ending.

Cheer,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Posted in Meaning-making, Executive coach, Emotion & productivity, Danville CA, Optimal Human Functioning, Well-being, Courage and Anxiety, keys to happiness, Pursuing Purpose, Men's feelings, Emotion & learning, Curiosity, Anxiety, Emotional IQ, Guide to Self, Managing stress, Staying calm, Tips to help anxiety, Assertiveness, Resiliency, Managing Anxiety, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

11. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

ScienceDaily (Aug. 9, 2010) — Everyone experiences social stress, whether it is nervousness over a job interview, difficulty meeting people at parties, or angst over giving a speech. In a new report, UCLA researchers have discovered that how your brain responds to social stressors can influence the body’s immune system in ways that may negatively affect health.
Lead author George Slavich, a postdoctoral fellow at the UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, and senior author Shelley Taylor, a UCLA professor of psychology, show that individuals who exhibit greater neural sensitivity to social rejection also exhibit greater increases in inflammatory activity to social stress.

And although such increases can be adaptive, chronic inflammation can increase the risk of a variety of disorders, including asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, cardiovascular disease, certain types of cancer, and depression.

The study appears in the current online edition of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

“It turns out, there are important differences in how people interpret and respond to social situations,” Slavich said. “For example, some people see giving a speech in front of an audience as a welcome challenge; others see it as threatening and distressing. In this study, we sought to examine the neural bases for these differences in response and to understand how these differences relate to biological processes that can affect human health and well-being.”

The researchers recruited 124 individuals — 54 men and 70 women — and put them into two awkward social situations. First, in the lab, the volunteers completed the Trier Social Stress Test (TSST), which involves preparing and delivering an impromptu speech and performing difficult mental arithmetic, both in front of a socially rejecting panel of raters wearing white lab coats. Mouth swabs were taken before and after the public-speaking tasks to test for changes in two key biomarkers of inflammatory activity — a receptor for tumor necrosis factor-α (sTNFαRII) and interleukin-6 (IL-6).

In a second session, 31 of the participants received an MRI brain scan while playing a computerized game of catch with what they believed were two other real people. The researchers focused on two areas of the brain known to respond to social stress — the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC) and the anterior insula.

At first, the game was between all three “players.” Halfway through the game, however, the research subject was excluded, leading to an experience of social rejection. The researchers then examined how differences in neural activity during social rejection correlated with differences in inflammatory responses to the TSST.

Their results showed that individuals who exhibited greater neural activity in the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula during social rejection in the brain scanner also exhibited greater increases in inflammatory activity when exposed to acute social stress in the lab.

“This is further evidence of how closely our mind and body are connected,” Slavich said. “We have known for a long time that social stress can ‘get under the skin’ to increase risk for disease, but it’s been unclear exactly how these effects occur. To our knowledge, this study is the first to identify the neurocognitive pathways that might be involved in inflammatory responses to acute social stress.”

Although increases in inflammatory activity are part of our immune system’s natural response to potentially harmful situations, Slavich noted, “frequent or chronic activation of the system may increase risk for a variety of disorders, including asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and even depression.”

One critical question raised by the present findings is why neural sensitivity to social rejection would cause an increase in inflammation. There are several possible reasons, the authors note. For one, since physical threats have historically gone hand in hand with social threat or rejection, inflammation may be triggered in anticipation of a physical injury. Inflammatory cytokines — proteins that regulate the immune system — are released in response to impending (or actual) physical assault because they accelerate wound-healing and reduce the risk of infection.

While short-term inflammation is useful in battling an injury, chronic inflammation arising from the mere perception of social rejection is not.

“Although the issue is complex, one solution is to not treat negative thoughts as facts,” Slavich said. “If you think you’re being socially rejected, ask yourself, what’s the evidence? If there is no evidence, then revise your belief. If you were right, then make sure you’re not catastrophizing or making the worst out of the situation.”

Other UCLA authors on the study were Balwin M. Way and Naomi I. Eisenberger. The study was funded by a Society in Science: Branco Weiss Fellowship and by the National Institutes of Health.
Story Source:

The above story is reprinted from materials provided by University of California - Los Angeles.

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Journal Reference:

1.S. D. Karlen, H. Reyes, R. E. Taylor, S. I. Khan, M. F. Hawthorne, M. A. Garcia-Garibay. Symmetry and dynamics of molecular rotors in amphidynamic molecular crystals. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2010; DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1008213107

Posted in Neuropsychology, Assertiveness, Danville CA, Optimal Human Functioning, Psychoneuroimmunology, Managing Sadness, Managing Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Managing stress | Print | No Comments »

2. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

This is a comment I posted after a lovely young woman asked about anger management therapy for her husband. She was close to her wit’s end; sick of his constant annoyance, criticisms and irritability. She was asking if anyone knew of any possible way to get her husband to learn new ways of relating or if her only option was divorce.

Dear Kristin:

I’ve been working on designing free online anger management classes to teach men the latest scientifically proven tools for anger management therapy. My background is as a Ph.D. in ed psychology from U.C. Berkeley. I wrote an award-winning book in 2007 on proven tools to turn down the volume on negative emotions, such as anger and irritability, and techniques to turn up the volume on positive emotions, like love, happiness and curiosity.

From my years of research on the mind, I’ve found that merely targeting the anger is necessary but insufficient. As the brain is always looking to maintain a balance or homeostasis, we must teach these two paths simultaneously (turn up the positive and turn down the negative feelings).

I’ve had such success with this process and my clients that I’ve been asked to share the message with a wider audience. Typically, my clients ask “Shouldn’t everyone learn these tools?” To which my answer is “absolutely.” So I’m offering these tools for free at http://www.guidetoself.com. There you can receive a free copy of the eBook, free video lessons and free articles.

The entire process sidesteps the whole issue of shame, embarrassment and fear that men often feel when they seek outside “help”. Using these videos, men can learn useful, proven, concrete tools in the privacy of their own home. This makes it possible to help men who might not otherwise find a way to learn these invaluable tools. 

I hope and pray this is of use to you and your husband!

Best,
John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Founder Guide to Self
http://www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in Executive coach, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Violence and abuse, Emotion & productivity, National speakers, Danville CA, Gender differences, De-escalating anger, Men and Women, Relationship problems, Managing anger, Anger management therapy, Self-help book, Men's feelings, Real Men Real Emotion, Curiosity, Assertiveness, Victims of bullying, Happiness, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Tips to help anxiety, Staying calm, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Depression, Parenting, The human brain, Relationships, Resiliency, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Emotional mind, Emotional management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

28. July 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Here is a new video I made yesterday to help folks move from angry to content in less than 3 minutes. Please take a look and let me know your thoughts and feelings. Leave a comment down below if you enjoy it! I’ll make more.

Many thanks,

John

Posted in Emotion & productivity, San Ramon CA, Danville CA, National speakers, Resiliency, Assertiveness, Executive coach, Optimal Human Functioning, keys to happiness, Anger management therapy, Real Men Real Emotion, Men's feelings, Well-being, De-escalating anger, The human brain, Men's emotions, Social anxiety disorder, Tips to help anxiety, Emotional IQ, Life coach, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Happiness, Depression, Anger Management, Subconscious mind, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Parenting, Counseling | Print | No Comments »