[1] Stress Management Techniques for Men

Obviously, it is a stressful time for many right now. Unemployment worries loom. Financial stressors are all about. There are a lot of negative stories you could be focusing on right now.

Stop. Rather than mindlessly accept to continually leave the gates to your mind unguarded, choose what to put into your head.

Your mind is like a fertile garden. Be aware of what types of information you allow into your mind for those are the seeds of thoughts and feelings that will come to fruition later.

Stop watching the nightly news. Stop watching Glenn Beck. Stop listening to terrified, angry crowds of people. Fill your head with relaxing, calming, productive messages instead.

First, focus on what your are doing well. The human mind is hardwired to focus on what is going wrong, where threats are coming from and that which is negative. It is critical that we learn to train our brain to focus on our strengths, our passions, what we are doing well during stressful times, such as we have currently.

As far as tools to turn down the volume on stress and the subsequent anger it sparks, here are some useful techniques…

Tune in to your body. Be aware of your bodily sensations.  For example, if you experience a tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, a rise in heart rate, you know instantly that you are beginning to get angry or stressed.

As soon as you sense stress or anger, take a break from the situation (e.g., take a walk outside, exercise, watch a comedy, count from 10 to 1, breathe deeply, distract yourself with a pleasant memory from a recent vacation).

Turn down the anger. Oftentimes, when you are stressed, there is a thin veil of anger at yourself involved. To alleviate the anger at yourself, remember the power of self-compassion. Talk to yourself as you would a young child around 2 to 3 years old. Be kind, understanding and compassionate. Try not to yell at yourself in your own head.

Keep things in perspective. An excellent tool for this is to ask yourself “Will this matter 10 years from now?” Odds are, the answer will be “No”. Then take steps to relax as above.

Deal with the fear. There may be layers of fear or anxiety present in your stress. So remember to continue facing your fears one at a time. Look for small steps of improvement. Praise yourself for being brave, that is, facing your fears.

Use your imagination to your advantage. Visualize yourself as a fishing net stretched across a river. The river is the world of emotions rushing towards you. You are the net. You allow all negative emotions to race right through you. All positive emotions e.g., contentment, joy, pride, curiosity, awe, love, etc. are caught and kept by you the net.

Breathe. Breathe deeply 3 minutes per day into your abdomen or stomach region. When you breathe in, your belly should inflate like a balloon. When you breathe out, your belly should deflate. Inhale for 6 seconds, hold for 1, exhale for 8 seconds, hold for 4. Repeat 5 times.

Use a relaxation file. Listen to a progressive muscle relaxation file 4 times in the next 7 days to reduce your overall emotional arousal level.  There are some excellent free resources on mindfulness, relaxation, and sleep at MIT Medical School and ASU…

[2] http://vcc.asu.edu/relax/ - Arizona State University Relaxation Training

[3] http://medweb.mit.edu/wellness/resources/downloads.html - MIT Medical Relaxation Training

Remind yourself of what you can control. Ask yourself, “Is this something under my control?” If the answer is ‘no’ then let it go.

For more stress management and anger management tools, check out my site at [4] http://www.GuideToSelf.com and the video blog at [5] http://drjohnsblog.wordpress.com.

Have a stress free week!

All the best,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Award-winning author, founder of Guide to Self

For a free copy of John’s award-winning self-help book, visit [6] Guide to Self and register with your name and email!