20. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

How do you feel about your employer? A new study in Perspectives on Psychological Science indicates that how happy a company’s employees are is strongly related to how well the company performs in a number of important areas - increased employee retention, improved customer loyalty, and greater profitability.

Such findings may signal a coming downturn for companies such as JetBlue whose former flight attendant recently told a customer over the loudspeaker to take a hike and then jumped out the emergency exit. Assuming more of Jetblue’s workforce is equally unhappy, the company’s profitability is likely to decrease in the short term.

Given the amount of time you spend at work, it seems reasonable that work influences how happy we are. More and more studies are documenting the connection between your attitudes towards work, your mood outside of the workplace and physical outcomes like coronary heart disease.
Come to find out, that may be merely the tip of the iceberg. Gallup scientist James K. Harter reported recently that how you perceive your work conditions also seems to have a significant effect on company profitability.

In Harter’s latest findings, Gallup examined data from over 2,000 business units (e.g., retail stores and sales offices) within 10 firms. Harter and colleagues pored over employee satisfaction surveys, customer loyalty numbers, employee retention rates, and financial performance of the organizations. Harter performed data anayses to determine the strength of relationships between employee job satisfaction and the outcome measures of the firms.

Findings showed that how employees perceive work conditions predict critical organizational outcomes. In other words, when employees hold their company in a positive light, the company was far more likely to have higher employee retention, increased customer loyalty, and improved profitability.

Unexpectedly, the findings indicate that employee perceptions influence these outcomes more than the outcomes affect employee perceptions. It may be that profitability begins with positive employee perceptions of their employer, their job and their overall contribution. Thus, happy employees seem to be key to increased profitability.

Harter suggests that ‘helping employees see the ultimate outcomes the organization is working to achieve and how they play a role in achieving those outcomes’ may be the greatest benefit managers can provide to those they supervise.

By John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Founder Guide To Self
Award-winning author (Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Happiness)
Award-winning blogger (Top 3 in positive psychology by PostRank, Top 100 by The Daily Reviewer)
Free 216 page eBook on latest ways to increase happiness from the inside out at http://www.Guidetoself.com

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Journal References:

1.     Manon Mireille LeBlanc, Julian Barling. Workplace Aggression. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2004; 13 (1): 9 DOI: 10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.01301003.x

2.     H. R. Bowles, M. Gelfand. Status and the Evaluation of Workplace Deviance. Psychological Science, 2009; 21 (1): 49 DOI: 10.1177/0956797609356509

3.     Paul E. Spector. Employee Control and Occupational Stress. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2002; 11 (4): 133 DOI: 10.1111/1467-8721.00185

4.     J. K. Harter, F. L. Schmidt, J. W. Asplund, E. A. Killham, S. Agrawal. Causal Impact of Employee Work Perceptions on the Bottom Line of Organizations. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2010; 5 (4): 378 DOI: 10.1177/1745691610374589

Posted in Employee engagement, Executive coach, Optimal Human Functioning, Corporate Culture, Emotion & productivity, Emotion & learning, Danville CA, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Happiness and Income, Workplace bullies, Anger in the workplace, Pursuing Purpose, Real Men Real Emotion, De-escalating anger, Executive leadership, National speakers, Emotion and technology, Dr. John Schinnerer, Emotional IQ, Organizational change initiatives, Measuring emotions, Managing stress, Business & psych, Realistic optimism, Customer Engagement, Happiness, Anger Management, Men's emotions, Organizational psychology, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Depression, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

13. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

It’s August 12th! Less than 2 weeks left before school starts!

You know what time it is!

Time for Back to School Rehab!

Teacher: ‘So students, did everyone have a wonderful Summer?

Okay, glad to hear it.

Now I know you’ve spent the past 3 months playing video games, tweeting and texting on your phones, and fondling the remote control mindlessly, so it’s time for some brief solution-focused group therapy.

How many of you can focus on one thing for longer than 3 seconds?

How many of you have heard of a handheld wireless tool called a ‘book?’

Let’s see a show of hands please….hold them up. Okay, 2 of you.

In that case, let’s talk about addiction.

Johnny, I need you to stop moving your thumbs.

Yes, just use your thoughts, dear. Really, you can stop fidgeting using your mind!

I know it’s difficult, dear. Just give it a try.

The withdrawals from your iPhones, video games and laptops seem just as bad as nicotine detox.

Addiction is when you can’t stop thinking about where your next fix is coming from. So if all you can think about is getting home to fire up WOW or COD, you just might be addicted!

Call of Duty (COD)

Addiction is when you spend all your energy focusing on how your going to get your next fix. So if you are counting the seconds from first period to the end of the school day while worrying about playing Angry Birds on the iPhone, you just might be addicted!

Remember, quitting technology cold turkey can be brutal.

So if you need a fix during the school day, we were just got in some brand new Kindles. You can use them in the meantime to quiet those nasty eye twitches and finger tics.

Alright. I’m glad we had the chance to have this little chat. There’s the school bell.

ON YOUR MARK…

GET SET…

LEARN!’

Enjoy!

John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Posted in Gender differences, Parenting adolescents, SRVHS, San Francisco Bay Area, De-escalating anger, Real Men Real Emotion, Free self-help book, Emotional terrorists, Anger management therapy, Self-help book, Visual Attention, Psychological Humor - Jokes, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, School psychology, Creativity, Dr. John Schinnerer, Parenting, Emotional management, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Psychology humor, Managing stress | Print | No Comments »

12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I do not recommend people or sites lightly. In fact, I never have until now.

However, there is one person for whom I have so much respect and appreciate his opinion so much that I am willing to put my reputation on the line in the hopes that you may take the chance of benefiting as I have from his material. Geez, I think that was a little bit of a run on sentence.

His name is Jeremy McCarthy. His blog is

http://psychologyofwellbeing.com/

If you want to live life fully…if you want to read words of meaning…if you want to be inspired, entertained…if you want to learn enjoyment… check out his site…

http://psychologyofwellbeing.com/

He is an old soul.

Enjoy!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Smart guy, good sense of humor, some emotional IQ

Posted in Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion | Print | No Comments »

12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

On the CBS “Early Show” this morning, there was a piece on anger management training. The focus was on the prevalence of anger at work. This seems to be a timely topic given the angry outbursts of folks such as Mel Gibson and others. I can’t imagine being on set with him.
While most of the tools discussed looked at stress management, brief mention was made of emotional intelligence. Emotional IQ is a key comoponent of any anger management training worth it’s salt.

In all anger management programs I’ve constructed consist of several key components:

Anger Management (ways to turn Down the volume on anger and tools to turn up the volume on positive emotions to replace the anger)

Stress Management (proven methods to turn down stress and pressure)

Communication Skills (tools to become more appropriately assertive) and

Emotional Intelligence (teaching ways to instantly identify and manage emotions in self and others).

For the best in anger management training, check out a free video series at http://www.GuideToSelf.com, along with a free copy of  my award-winning eBook ‘Guide to Self: The Beginner’s Guide to Managing Emotion and Thought.’

To life, love and laughter,
John Schinnerer Ph.D.

Posted in Real Men Real Emotion, Self-help book, Self-improvement book, Men's feelings, De-escalating anger, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, keys to happiness, Anger management therapy, Free self-help book, Anger in the workplace, Emotional terrorists, Workplace bullies, Managing anger, Courage and Anxiety, Optimal Human Functioning, Violence and abuse, Victims of bullying, Happiness, Anxiety, Emotional IQ, Measuring emotions, Dr. John Schinnerer, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Depression, Danville CA, Emotion & productivity, Resiliency, Relationships, Anger Management, Alexithymia, Managing stress | Print | No Comments »

12. August 2010 by John Schinnerer.

 The boss’ face is red with rage as he screams obscenities at the subordinate. The boss yells out words he will later regret. The subordinate focuses on breathing deeply and staying calm as he watches his boss spin out of emotional control. In the face of his boss’ fury, the subordinate is unruffled and able to think clearly. When the manager finishes his tirade, the 25-year-old subordinate asserts himself, “I understand you are upset. It frustrates me when you yell at me. I need you to speak to me in a calm tone of voice.”

Assertiveness is the courage to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right manner, despite a known risk of negative consequences. Assertiveness basically comes down to courage – the courage to do what you know is right, in your heart, despite the possibility of negative consequences. Assertiveness exists on a continuum between the poles of docile and aggressive.

Think of assertiveness as a matter of degree; it exists on a 1 through 10 scale where 1 is meek and 10 is overly aggressive. For most people, assertiveness varies according to the situation. For example, the hard-nosed, results-driven executive may be highly assertive at work, yet be quite meek when it comes to dealing with his wife and teenage daughter at home.

So assertiveness is environment-specific. Usually, your degree of assertiveness is couched within a role that you play – parent, spouse, boss, friend, and so on. The goal is to learn how to be appropriately assertive without being a bully. If you are assertive at work, you may roll over at home. If you are assertive at home, you might be a pushover at work. Or perhaps you could be more assertive in both settings!

Stop Being a Wimp

Most of us are wimps (at least in some situations like work OR home). Wimps are people who cannot or will not say ‘No.’

Some of us are ubiquitous wimps (which mean that you are wimpy in every situation… with everyone).

Others are situation-specific wimps. These wimps can be a tyrant at work and a pushover at home, forceful with strangers yet completely spineless with friends.

Wimpiness can vary according to the situation. Some people feel more comfortable being assertive in some areas of their life than others.

Please understand that I use the term ‘wimp’ with respect and understanding. I am a recovering wimp myself.

Being a wimp often works well in the short run because you don’t risk upsetting anyone. You let others have their way and no one’s knickers get in a knot.

However, in the long run, your anger and disappointment get buried deep within you. And you may not even realize it!

As you try to stuff more and more anger inside your emotional gas tank, the tank eventually overflows resulting in irritation, outbursts of rage and passive aggressive behavior. You get angry at the wrong people, people who don’t deserve your wrath.

These repressed emotions also lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attacks. In short, wimpiness is bad for you and destructive to your health and happiness.

KEY: For a meaningful, happy and healthy life, you must learn to be appropriately assertive.  

So what can you do? How do you stop being a wimp?

Identify your most cherished values

What do I value?

With what degree of certainty?

Which values am I willing to publicly declare?

What ones am I willing to die for?

And most importantly, what values am I willing to live for?

Once you’ve identified your values, then you must figure out how consistent your words are with your actions. In other words, do you act in a manner that’s consistent with your values?

The more authentic you are, the better life you lead. Authenticity means that your values are consistent with your words, feelings and actions. The greater the consistency between your internal world and your external world, the more authenticity you have.

Values guide the whole thing, your whole life.  Values give you a decision-making framework.

KEY: Values are MOST important when you are under duress.

Values are critical when you are stressed out, depressed, irritable and under the gun. However, in order for them to be any use to you at all, you have to know your top 5 values by rote. Values have to be automatic, unconscious, repeated over and over until they are known by heart. It’s not enough to look at them once or twice a year. Infrequent value visits are not enough to sear them into your long-term memory.

To get you started, a list of the top  35 values that exist throughout the world is available free of charge at the Articles page at Guide To Self. This is a list of values drawn from work by the top values researchers on the planet!

Figure Out How You Want Others to Treat You

If you want other people to treat you differently, you need to know how you want to be treated. Do you want your wife to stop yelling at you? Do you want more respect from your husband? Do you want your boss to speak to you in an indoor tone of voice? Do you want your children to help pick up the house?

The first step is to figure out exactly what it is you want. Look at what is making you angry or irritated throughout the day. Make a mental note of each thing. Then figure out what you’d like to change in each relationship in your life. Where are you being taken advantage of?  What are you tolerating? What are you putting up with? The first step is to unearth the answers to these questions. This is easier said than done for many of us!

Ask for What You Want

After you have figured out how you want to be treated, then ask for it. This step takes courage, yet it gets easier the more you do it. And it’s really not as hard as you believe it is. You must learn to express yourself, the real you; what you truly want; how you truly feel, if you want to be treated with more respect. When you learn to state how you feel and what you want, your whole life will begin to change for the better. When you are asking for what you want, be as specific as possible. Keep it as short as possible and hold that thought in your mind, that way you can hold onto it even in the midst of an emotionally-charged conversation.

To stop being a wimp, act with courage. It may feel awkward at first. Every new behavior feels a little strange at first. Most new behaviors take roughly 8 weeks to take hold. After eight weeks, the authentic communication of your thoughts, feelings and needs will fit like a glove and you’ll be wondering why you hadn’t done it sooner.

Practice Saying ‘No’

Many of us have gotten in a dangerous habit of saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything. However, it’s merely a bad habit which can be changed. If you have trouble with saying ‘No’, if that is too uncomfortable, simply use the phrase, ‘I’ll think about it.’  This is just a temporary stop-gap. It buys you time. Using the phrase ‘I’ll think about it’ will hold off the other party for a time, but it raises your anxiety because you are only delaying giving a final answer.

So realize that the ultimate goal is to be able to say “No” with a clear conscience. You have a right to say “No” to any request that comes your way. You have an obligation to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Learn to Love Change

The next step in becoming more assertive is to learn to love change. As you begin to live by your values and become more assertive, your relationships will change. You are going to make some changes to your life and the way in which you interact with other people. In addition, the only unchanging thing in this life is the fact that change will be constant. The best you can do is learn to love it.

Identify What Makes You Afraid – Then Go After It

Many of us wimps have created massive fears over what will happen if we DO say “No.” We get into catastrophic, all-or-nothing negative thinking. Most often, these are irrational fears that have been blown up to monstrous proportions. Odds are that none of these things will actually happen if you stand up and rightly assert yourself.

Remember to challenge your fears, your negative Gremlin thinking. Don’t let them go by without speaking back to them. Check them against reality. Check your thoughts out with other people. Find out what people you trust have to say about the matter.

Assertiveness is NOT the same as aggressiveness. You don’t have to be rude or impolite to be assertive. You don’t have to attack someone to let them know of your thoughts and your feelings. You have the right to stand up for your rights. You have the God-given right to say “No” and to take proper care of yourself. Each and every one of us has rights. And you have the right to stand up and ask for what you want and need. The worst that can happen is that they say “No. You can’t have that.”

In any case, you need to know what makes your life worth living. And THEN you have to stand up for it. Ask for it. Fight for it. Work towards it. Pay attention to it. You have to know what you want before you can be assertive. If you don’t know, you can’t ask.

In closing, keep in mind that assertiveness requires some courage.

Courage only exists when you feel some degree of fear.

The act of overcoming your fear is known as courage. 

Assertiveness is the courage to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right manner despite possible adverse consequences.

Think of assertiveness on a 1 to 10 scale where 1 is meek and 10 is overly aggressive. Assertiveness usually varies by situation. It is environment-specific.

The ultimate goal is to learn how to be suitably assertive without using intimidation to get what you want.

About the Author
John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

 John Schinnerer Ph.D. is in private practice helping men master their emotions in the beautiful San Ramon Valley in California. His practice is located in the Danville-San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, CA 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in psychology (so he’s smart!). He has been an executive and psychologist for over 14 years.  John Schinnerer is President and Founder of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, mindfulness and attentional control (so he’s no longer an emotional idiot!). He has hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show, in the San Francisco Bay Area (so he has a sense of humor!).  He has served as President of Infinet Assessment, a psychological testing company to help firms select the best applicants (so he’s been successful in business!). His areas of expertise range from positive psychology, to emotional awareness, to moral development, to sports psychology. He wrote the award-winning, “Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,” which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com (so he’s highly regarded - at least by some!).  

Posted in Real Men Real Emotion, Pursuing Purpose, Self-help book, Executive leadership, De-escalating anger, Optimal Human Functioning, San Francisco Bay Area, Well-being, Self-improvement book, keys to happiness, Emotional terrorists, Free self-help book, Psychology of Success, Workplace bullies, Courage and Anxiety, Anger management therapy, Managing anger, Executive coach, Emotion & productivity, Happiness, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Depression, Tips to help anxiety, Emotional IQ, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Emotional management, Managing Anxiety, Hope, Emotion & learning, Danville CA, Assertiveness, Resiliency, Anger Management, Men's emotions, Positive Psychology | Print | 2 Comments »