A Positive Psychology Approach to Teaching? What Teachers Make by Taylor Mali

31. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

Uplifting video poetry/performance art - ‘What Teachers Make’ by Taylor Mali.

You MUST check this short inspirational video out. Fantastic! Well done, Taylor!

If I don’t see you first, have a relaxing and interesting spring break!

On your mind,

John

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Positive Psychology Coach
Guide To Self, Inc.
www.GuideToSelf.com

Posted in Danville CA, Alamo CA, SRVHS, Parenting adolescents, Emotion & learning, Raising optimistic children, Positive Psychology, Dr. John Schinnerer, School psychology, School age bullies, Bullies | Print | No Comments »

Shrunken Mind Named Among Top 50 Sports Psychology Blogs

25. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I woke up to check email this morning and received a note saying that this blog has been named one of the top 50 sports psychology blogs on the web. What a nice way to wake up!

http://www.nursingschools.net/blog/2010/03/50-best-sports-psychology-blogs/

A few weeks ago, my blog was named one of the top 3 positive psychology blogs on the net.

https://analytics.postrank.com/2009/feed/7499624a994f52c3679878f294478fd5

Thank you very much for the honors. I’m flattered and humbled.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

Positive Psychology Coach

And I still think the formatting could be improved and I need to add some widgets which I have yet to find time to do.

Posted in San Ramon CA, Emotion & productivity, Danville CA, National speakers, Optimal Human Functioning, Soccer psychology, San Francisco Bay Area, Alamo CA, Emotion & Athletics, Managing Anxiety, Emotional management, Managing stress, Positive Psychology, Swim coaches, Dr. John Schinnerer, Life coach, Emotional mind, Psychology & soccer, Guide to Self, Sports Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Top Ten Tips To Alleviate Social Anxiety

24. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Guide To Self, Inc.

www.GuideToSelf.com

Anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in the world today. Some folks with anxiety aren’t even aware when they become anxious. If those with anxiety aren’t even aware of it, how do we begin to fix the problem?

 

A young man wastes time sitting in front of the telephone, agonizing because he’s afraid to make a call. He’s afraid to call a stranger in a business office about the phone bill because he’s afraid he’ll be imposing and they’ll be mad with him. It’s very hard for him to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn’t know. He’s especially afraid to call people he does know because he feels that he’ll be calling at the wrong time — the other person will be busy — and they won’t want to talk with him. He feels rejected even before he makes the call. Once the call is finished, he overanalyzes and thinks about the words that were used, the tone it was said in, and how he was perceived by the other person….his nervousness and speeding thoughts concerning the call prove to him that he “screwed” this conversation up, too, just like he always does. Just thinking about the call is enough to call us his anxiety.

 

 

A young lady resists going to work since a meeting is scheduled the next day. She knows that such meetings always include her co-workers discussing their current projects. The mere thought of talking in front of her peers spikes her anxiety. Sometimes she loses sleep the night before due to the anticipation of her upcoming nervousness. In other words, she becomes nervous about the prospect of being nervous. When the meeting is finally finished, a huge wave of relief comes over her as she begins to let go of the anxiety. Yet the memory of the meeting remains in the forefront of her mind. She is convinced she embarrassed herself and that everyone present saw how nervous she was when she spoke, and how foolish she acted in the meeting. She recalls that in front of the boss she stammered, paused too long, her face turned red, and she won’t remember what to say. The movies are replayed in her mind over and over and over again.

 

 

Another individual would like to go to out socially— and, in fact, he is truly lonely—yet he never goes out as he is unbearably nervous when meeting new people. Groups of people make things worse for him. The idea of talking to unknown people scares the daylights out of him. He is certain people will stare at him and expose him as an imposter. He is afraid they will reject him and humiliate him. Even if they act nice, they’ll surely notice his flushed face, frozen look and stuttering speech. They’ll sense his discomfort, mistake it for arrogance and dislike him. He feels he has no way to win. And so he spends the night alone again. He is in his comfort zone at home. Home is the only area in which he feels totally at ease. Home is the only place he can relax. He hasn’t gone out in seven years.

 

 

In public, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is scrutinizing their every move and judging them, despite the rational knowledge that this is not the case. Socially anxious people cannot relax in public. They cannot enjoy themselves when they are out. They can never truly settle down when others are around. To them, it always seems like other people are negatively judging them. Regardless of their rational thoughts, they still feel extremely self-consciousness while they are in the presence of others. For many, it is nearly impossible to relax and focus on anything other than the anxiety and the fear. The anxiety is agonizing, making it easier to avoid social situations and other people completely.

 

 

Social anxiety is an extreme fear of social situations and conversing with other people which creates feelings of self-consciousness, fear of judgment, evaluation, and criticism. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy, humiliation, and depression. Social anxiety disorder (or social phobia) causes relationship problems for millions of people all over the world every day of their lives. In the United States, studies have recently shown social anxiety disorder to be the third largest psychological disorder in the country. Such anxiety affects approximately 15 million Americans each year. In general, social anxiety is not well understood by the mental health care field. As a result, people with social phobia are frequently misdiagnosed. Socially anxious people have been misdiagnosed as “schizophrenic”, “manic-depressive”, “clinically depressed”, and “personality disordered” to name a few. Often, anxiety exists together with depression or bipolar disorder.

 

 

An example of a specific social phobia is the fear of speaking in front of groups. On the other hand, generalized social anxiety makes a person anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable in the vast majority of social situations. People who suffer from social anxiety disorder typically experience considerable emotional distress in situations such as:

• Introductions to other people
• Criticism and Judgments
• Being the center of attention (e.g., birthdays)
• Having someone watch while doing something
• Talking to people in positions of authority (e.g., doctors, Ph.D.s and police)
• Social encounters, especially with strangers
• Making “chit-chat” at social engagements

The physiological symptoms that are associated with social anxiety frequently include intense dread, a quickening heart rate, blushing face, dry throat and mouth, shaking, difficulty swallowing, and muscle tension. Constant, pervasive, ongoing and intense anxiety is the most common symptom.

 

People with social anxiety know that their anxiety does not make rational sense. We know now that each one of us has two “types” of brain – the emotional brain and the thinking brain. These account for our emotional intelligence and traditional intelligence. Therefore, knowing something is not the same is not the same as feeling it. Sometimes we have feelings that are inconsistent with our thoughts. This is frequently the case in anxious people. They feel anxious despite their rational knowledge that there is nothing to be afraid of.

 

If some of the situations resonate with you, feel free to implement some of the tips below to help alleviate your anxiety…

1. Think of the brain as a computer. In order for a computer to run any program at peak efficiency, it must have sufficient memory, disk space and processing speed. Many individuals with problems of impulsivity, disorganization, and distractibility do not have sufficient RAM (i.e., short-term memory), disk space (i.e., long-term memory) or processing speed in their brains due to underactivity in the prefrontal and temporal lobes of the brain. To best run the programs, the hardware (the brain) must be first optimized and then the programs (the information) need to be reinstalled (as it wasn’t properly received the first time through). Once the brain is running efficiently, strategies need to be introduced to help them be more effective at home, at work and in social relationships. It is essential to improve the brain (biological), the outlook of the individual (psychological), and the intersections between the person and their environment (social) (Amen, 2001). One particular part of the brain has been shown to be involved in shifting from one thought to another – the anterior cingulate gyrus. When the anterior cingulate is too active, it results in people getting stuck in certain thought patterns and behaviors. Many difficulties with anxiety and depression have to do with a lack of flexibility of thought (or obsessing on certain negative thoughts) and may be related to an overactive anterior cingulate. If the rigidity of your thoughts and behaviors are causing difficulty in your relationships, you may want to discuss with your doctor the possibility of a serotonergic medication such as Prozac, Zoloft or Paxil which has been shown to be helpful in calming down the anterior cingulate gyrus (Amen, 2001).

2. Eliminate all toxic elements from your lifestyle. This includes caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamines, nicotine, and sugars. For instance, marijuana use damages the physiology of the brain decreasing blood flow to key areas and reducing overall effectiveness. Marijuana use is especially harmful to the temporal lobes, which play an important role in memory, emotional stability, learning and temper control. Substance abuse of all kinds is particularly harmful to brain functioning. For example, a study done at UCLA demonstrated that cocaine addicts had 23 percent less brain activity overall compared to a group of people who had never used drugs (Amen, 2001).

 

3. Get Your Protein. The recommended diet according to many experts, including Barry Sears, PhD (author of The Zone) is a higher protein – lower carbohydrate diet with a minimum of sugars. This helps promote a more even mood, better focus, and improved cognitive ability. However, this is precisely the opposite form of diet that most of us are on currently.

 

4. Exercise. All of us benefit from intense aerobic exercise 30-45 minutes 5 times a week. Exercise increases blood flow to the brain. It also improves the availability of serotonin in the brain which provides a calming effect and allows individuals to shift their focus from one are to another more easily. This helps those who tend to obsess on certain thoughts or ‘overfocus’ on areas of interest.

.

5. Stop the ANTs!

Work on correcting Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs. Negativity haunts us all at different times. This habit, when particularly strong, can lead to depression and social withdrawal. There are seven primary types of ANTs as laid out below:

ANT	Type of ANT	How to counter the ANT
“I’m the worst at sports.”	“All or nothing” thinking.	This is not a rational thought. I’m not the worst. I just need more practice. Then, I’ll improve.
“She is always mad at me.”	“Always” thinking.	Watch for words like “always,” “never,” “no one,” “everyone,” “every time,” and “everything.”
“Others will just laugh at me and I’ll look stupid.”	Fortune telling.	Predicting the worst possible outcome. Replace negative thought with a positive image in your head (“They might like what I have to say.”). Learn deep breathing techniques (e.g., diaphragmatic breathing).
“I know she doesn’t like me.”	Mind reading.	Belief that you know what someone else is thinking. Remind yourself you can’t know another’s thoughts. Reframe the situation more positively. “She might like me. Maybe she is having a bad day.”
“I’m worthless.”	Labeling.	I may do some dumb things, but I’m not worthless. Similar to ‘All or nothing’ thinking.
“It’s all my the fault of my boss.”	Blaming.	What part did I play in creating the problem and how can we best solve it?
“I should do better in school.”	Guilt obsessions.	Watch out for the words “should,” “ought,” and “have to.” Reframe thought as “I want to…,” “It would be helpful to…”, or “It’s in my best interests to…”

 

6. Deep breathing is essential in reducing temper flare-ups, anxiety, impulsivity, restlessness, insomnia, and lack of focus. Diaphragmatic breathing is a method of deep breathing where you breathe into the stomach or diaphragm. The emphasis is on exhaling all air in your lungs with each breath. The purpose of exhaling is to rid your body of waste products in the lungs, such as carbon dioxide. This allows the lungs to fill more completely with new air, which increases the flow of oxygen to all cells in your body, particularly the brain cells. Brains cells are among the most sensitive to oxygen deprivation. Slight variations in oxygen availability can change the way an individual thinks and behaves. When you get angry or anxious, your breathing becomes shallower, and oxygen content in the bloodstream is reduced. Less oxygen is then available to the brain, possibly resulting in increased irritability, impulsivity, anxiety, or confusion. To account for this, you must learn to breathe slowly and deeply with your stomach, not your chest.

 

7. Smile. When we are happy we smile and when we smile, we feel happier. One of the most significant emerging principles in the neurology field in the 1990’s is the idea that the feedback between levels of the brain is bi-directional. In other words, messages travel both ways between various levels within the brain. So if you activate a higher level, such as the cortex, you will be priming a lower level, such as the cerebellum. And vice-versa. Thus, smiling, even when you don’t feel like it, can improve your mood!

8. Socialize with other intelligent and interesting people. This is one of the best ways to keep expanding the networks in your brain, in your social life and in the business world. The verbal interaction with other capable individuals challenges your brain to create new connections and pathways.

9. Challenge your brain daily with vocabulary exercises, quizzes, puzzles, crosswords, debates, anagrams and brainteasers. Attend current events seminars. Write in a journal. Axons and dendrites (i.e., neural pathways), which would normally shrink with age, branch out and make new connections. Given enough intellectual stimulation, you create an increased backup capability in your brain. In other words, the intellectual stimulation creates alternate pathways by which chemical messengers can communicate. Thus, if old pathways fail or are damaged, you are more likely to be able to reroute the necessary messages to essential parts of the brain. Studies shave shown that people who taught, continued learning and constantly challenged their brains into old age lived longer and resisted Alzheimer’s better than those who did not.

10. Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is how you speak to yourself when things go wrong. It is a hallmark of resilient individuals. The best way to practice self-compassion is to speak to yourself as if you were three years old. In other words, treat mistakes as learning opportunities, be gentle with yourself, no screaming at yourself in your own head, and treat yourself with kindness.

 

By following these tips, you will slowly but surely begin to turn down the volume on your anxiety while turning up the level of contentment and peace in your life.

 

About John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

Dr. John Schinnerer is in private practice teaching individuals the latest proven methods to manage emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression. Using positive psychology, he helps clients achieve happy, thriving, meaningful lives. His practice is located in the Danville San Ramon Medical Center at 913 San Ramon Valley Blvd., #280, Danville, California 94526. He graduated summa cum laude from U.C. Berkeley with a Ph.D. in educational psychology. Dr. Schinnerer has been an executive and psychologist for over 12 years. Dr. John Schinnerer is President of Guide To Self, a company that coaches clients to their potential using the latest in positive psychology, emotional management, mindfulness and attentional control. Dr. John Schinnerer hosted over 200 episodes of Guide To Self Radio, a prime time radio show on positive psychology, in the San Francisco Bay Area. Dr. Schinnerer wrote the award-winning, ‘Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought,’ which is available at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and AuthorHouse.com. He is currently collaborating with the University of New Zealand in a longitudinal positive psychology study called The International Wellbeing Study (www.wellbeingstudy.com). He sits on the Advisory Board of PsychCentral.com, one of the top psychology sites on the web. He may be reached via email at
John@GuideToSelf.com.

 

Recommended Reading

 

To address overall health of the brain:

Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. Berkeley Press, 2001.

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. Random House, 1999.

 

To improve self-assertiveness skills:

 

Managing Assertively: How to Improve Your People Skills. Madelyn Burley-Allen. John Wiley and Sons, 1995.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey, Ph.D. Franklin Covey Co., 1990.

Goals and Goal Setting. Larrie Rouillard. Crisp Publications. 1998.

 

To increase tolerance to stress and reduce anxiety:

 

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Edmund Bourne, PhD. MJF Books, 1990.

 

To address emotional sensitivity:

 

Guide To Self: The Beginner’s Guide To Managing Emotion and Thought. John Schinnerer, Ph.D. Authorhouse, 2007.

The Heart of the Soul. Gary Zukav. Simon & Schuster, 2002.

Self-Coaching: How to Heal Anxiety and Depression. Joseph Luciani. John Wiley & Sons, 2001.

Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn’t Teach You and Medication Can’t Give You. Richard O’Connor. Berkeley Pub. Group, 1999.

 

Posted in Emotion & productivity, San Ramon CA, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Assertiveness, National speakers, Executive coach, Brain plasticity, Parenting adolescents, Well-being, San Francisco Bay Area, Alamo CA, Self-compassion, Resiliency, The human brain, Emotional IQ, Anxiety, Guide to Self, Life coach, Managing stress, Dr. John Schinnerer, Staying calm, Guide To Self Beginners Guide To Managing Emotion, Managing Sadness, Men's emotions, Managing Anxiety, Emotional management, Emotional mind, Business & psych | Print | No Comments »

Is Wrestling A Socially Acceptable Way for Male Siblings to Fulfill Their Need for Touch?

19. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I find this idea of covert intimacy among males fascinating as well. I wonder if one of the functions of sibling rough-housing and wrestling fulfills the function of covert intimacy and allowing brothers to touch one another in a masculine, socially permissible way. 

Brothers fight for a number of reasons….

• They fight to get their parent’s attention, and the parent is limited in time, attention and patience, so they are fighting for a limited ‘commodity.’
• They wrestle due to jealousy: “He got a new game. I did not. They love him more than they love me.”
• They rough-house as a result of teasing, which is one way to test the power of words on behaviors: “He said I was a…” “But he called me a little .. first!”
• They get in each other’s face partly as a result of socialization. We live in a competitive society which frequently reinforces the idea that winning is better than losing.  “I had it first.” “I can beat you at…. I am better than you.”
• Perhaps, another reason to add to the list is that, in some manner, wrestling and rough housing allow boys to fulfill their need for touch in an acceptable way (that is, acceptable to society, not so much to their parents!).

 From Close Relationships: A Sourcebook by Clyde Hendrick, Susan Hendrick, p. 307…

‘Swain (1989) coined the phrase ‘closeness in the doing’ to describe men’s friendships. More than two thirds of the men studied by Swain pointed to activities other than talking when asked to describe their most meaningful times with friends. Swain’s study, as well as research by others (Monsour, 1992; Sherrod, 1989; Williams, shows that playing and watching sports and doing other things together are what male friends cite most often as the basis of camaraderie and closeness. Because men typically are not socialized to engage in expressive communication, male friends are less likely to talk intimately about problems than to help each other out by suggesting diversionary activities such as going out for drinks or watching games (Cancian, 1987; Riessman, 1990).

Although men might care deeply about their male friends, they are less likely than women to express those feelings explicitly. Instead, they tend to engage in what Swain (1989) referred to as ‘covert intimacy’, which signals intimacy indirectly and often nonverbally. Affectionate punches, backslapping, and friendly teasing are examples of displays of covert intimacy. Based on a series of men’s friendships, Floyd (1997b) concluded that men are not less affectionate than are women but that men ‘simply communicate affection in different more ‘covert’ ways, so as to avoid the possible ridicule that more overt expression might invite (see also Floyd, 1995, 1996, 1997).’  

Have a terrific Thursday!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.Guide To Self, Inc.

Positive Psychology Coach

Posted in San Ramon CA, Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Resiliency, Meaning-making, Optimal Human Functioning, Parenting adolescents, SRVHS, San Francisco Bay Area, Alamo CA, Relationships, The human brain, Guide to Self, Life coach, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Parenting, Emotional mind, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Emotional management, Positive Psychology | Print | No Comments »

Older Brothers Related to Greater Aggression in Younger Siblings - Per UC Davis

19. March 2010 by John Schinnerer.

I’ve been heading up a book club on adolescent boys at the local high school here. One of the topics that comes up frequently is aggression and fighting between adolescent brothers (as well as some reports of aggression outside the family). As I’m getting updated on the latest research on this topic, I thought I’d share some of the best studies with you. Hope you enjoy them!

Source:  UC Davis News Service

DAVIS — Children who grow up with an older brother tend to become more aggressive as they move through adolescence, while those with a younger sister tend to become less so, according to a new study by researchers at UC Davis. The study appears in the latest issue of the journal Child Development.

“Siblings contribute unique opportunities for children and adolescents to practice certain types of aggressive behaviors, including teasing, threatening and fighting,” said lead author Shannon Tierney Williams, who conducted the research as a postdoctoral researcher in Human and Community Development at UC Davis. “And because boys consistently demonstrate higher rates of aggression than girls, it may be that adolescents are affected more strongly by the aggression of brothers.”

Williams and her colleagues conducted annual assessments of sibling pairs from 451 rural Iowa families — 902 adolescents in all — from 1989 through 1992. Each assessment involved a home visit, during which parents and kids completed a set of questionnaires in which siblings rated their own aggressive behaviors and parents described economic pressures on the family. Families were also videotaped, without researchers in the room, as they discussed household issues and tried to resolve a real-life family conflict. The videotapes were then analyzed for clues to family hostility, coercion, warmth and support.

The researchers found that on average, aggression increased over time in adolescents with an older brother but remained stable in those with an older sister.

For the older sibling, aggression decreased when the younger sibling was a girl but remained stable when the younger sibling was a boy.

“By having younger sisters, who typically exhibit lower levels of aggressive behaviors, particularly early in adolescence, older siblings may have fewer chances to practice their aggressive behavior,” Williams said.

Parental hostility and family economic stress also played a role in adolescent aggression, the researchers found.

The findings suggest that efforts to address adolescent aggression should involve siblings and families, Williams said.

Her co-investigators were Katherine Jewsbury Conger, an assistant professor of human and community development at UC Davis, and Shelley Blozis, an assistant professor of psychology.

Posted in Danville CA, Emotion & learning, Relationships, San Ramon CA, Alamo CA, Parenting adolescents, SRVHS, San Francisco Bay Area, Men's emotions, Anger Management, Life coach, Dr. John Schinnerer, Managing stress, Guide to Self, Emotional IQ, Emotional mind, Depression, School age bullies, Bullies | Print | No Comments »