This is a tremendous article from Parenting.com on some key ways to create and maintain a happy, thriving family - a difficult task in the best of times!

Have a fantastic weekend!

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.

By Barbara Rowley, Parenting.com

October 28, 2009 10:25 a.m. EDT

‘The science of happiness shows that families can make choices to stay upbeat.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• The science of happiness can help families stay up amid setbacks
• ‘Act grateful, and you’ll soon start feeling it,’ psychology professor says
• Tip: Learn to be satisfied with your choices and don’t second guess them
• Research shows spreading out gifts and special experiences boosts joy

(Parenting.com) — In the hubbub of life with kids, it’s amazing how fragile happiness can seem.

One minute everyone is enjoying breakfast together, and the next the orange juice is toppled and the drawing is ruined and nobody wants the pancakes anymore. Blown out of proportion by a cranky preschooler, sulking tween, or grudge-holding parent, a single mishap can expand into a gloom that lasts for hours.

This is why the spate of recent research into the actual science of happiness caught my attention. Juice puddles (and far worse) will always be with us, but, it turns out, they have little to do with how truly content a family is. Instead, as Tolstoy said, happy families actually are all alike — at least in that they practice common habits that help inoculate them against setbacks large and small. The good news for the rest of us? Copying those might make us happier, too.

Give thanks — no matter what

Research consistently finds that regularly expressing gratitude is good for our overall well-being: People who do so are healthier, more successful at reaching their goals, more optimistic, and more inclined to help others. But what if your family is struggling, say with a job loss, and no one is feeling like they have much to be thankful for?

“There’s nothing wrong with faking it,” says Robert Emmons, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and author of the book “Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier.” “It doesn’t have to be spontaneous or natural. Act grateful, and you’ll soon start feeling it.”

This strategy is based on a well-known psychological fact: Human brains don’t like to behave and feel in opposition. That’s why your kids will struggle through the simple exercise of trying to smile while saying something mean, or attempting to frown while saying “I love you.” Their expressions will want to follow their words.

For those of us whose natural tendency is to see the glass as half empty, the fact that our brain wants to align with our actions provides some support on the way to happiness. During your week, take time to identify some little positive, and then give thanks — to the person responsible, to yourself, to the universe or your God. Not only will you feel better, but it’ll set a good example for your kids.

“If we stand around waiting for a feeling to move us, we may never get going,” says Emmons. “But choosing to act grateful for what we have is something we can all do.”

At home, encourage your kids to establish a habit of acknowledging all the good in life and in other people. Deliberate, regular practice helps: Each month, ask them to send thank-yous to people who have been kind, helpful, or generous, for example. Make those into creative fun, rather than a chore, by suggesting they send them in the form of a photo, video, or drawing. And, of course, count your blessings whenever your family has time together, whether at breakfast, dinner, bedtime, or even in the car.’

For full article please click here.

This entry was posted on 6. November 2009 at 20:00 and is filed under Raising optimistic children, Gratitude, National speakers, Danville CA, San Ramon CA, Resiliency, Emotional mind, Life coach, Emotional IQ, Happiness, Parenting, Dr. John Schinnerer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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